I Have A Concern About Getting Through To The Next Level on American Idol

It has nothing to do with singing.

I’m more concerned with the fact, that after I auditioned for Paula and Randy and Simon and they gave me my three YES votes that allowed me to go to the next level in Hollywood, that when I walked out that audition door with my little paper flyer and there were cameras and Ryan Seacrest waiting for me to come out all excited…

…that the people I invited to come with me, who were ALSO waiting out there, wouldn’t really be exciting enough for National TV.

Determining whether or not to audition for American Idol (in my mind) really all comes down to the fact of whether or not you really, truly, 100% have friends or family who can shoulder the weight of being the “outside audition room door supporters.” Inviting people without alerting them to the kind of requirements involved in being an outside audition room door supporter is seriously a lapse in judgement. These people need to know that the minute you come through that door with a flyer that you are going to need them to:

  • Be excited
  • Jump up and down
  • Embrace you while doing the previously two aforementioned requirements
  • Hold a sign, that they self-painted
  • Look away from the camera
  • Refrain from touching or hugging Ryan Seacrest
  • Shower, beforehand
  • Not wear clothing too tight for their body
  • Not wear concert T-shirts
  • Put their dentures in
  • Remove all chains or gaudy fake jewelry
  • Be cool

In fact, I’m starting to think that prior to auditioning for the show, I could potentially hold my own in-home auditions for those considering accompanying me on the journey. That way, I could burst through the living room doors into the kitchen and see how they’d react.

If I didn’t do that, I’d be really concerned. About getting through to the next level.

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And not having good supporters.

11 comments on “I Have A Concern About Getting Through To The Next Level on American Idol

  1. sarah - January 16, 2008 at 10:35 am -

    don’t forget – they can’t mess your hair up!

  2. Pauly D - January 16, 2008 at 1:41 pm -

    Oh, shoot. You’re right!

  3. Tami - January 16, 2008 at 1:48 pm -

    Well, you should definitely hold auditions for the supporters… It would be an instant YouTube smash hit… assuming you were recording it.

  4. jacquie - January 16, 2008 at 2:16 pm -

    can I be one of the judges when you audition invitees?

  5. Jerry - January 17, 2008 at 9:54 am -

    for a nominal fee (or possibly even a barter deal including livetock) I can be one of your adequately spontanious but respectively distant supporters.

  6. Jerry - January 17, 2008 at 9:55 am -

    respectfully NOT respectively. Unless you would prefer it that way, Paul.

  7. sandra - January 21, 2008 at 11:15 am -

    Would enlisting the aid of a local cheerleading squad be appropriate?

  8. Amy - January 21, 2008 at 7:52 pm -

    So, how’s the Hot Tub Repairman/Technician job coming along? I’m guessing you’re pretty busy with that.

  9. kerrianne - January 28, 2008 at 8:32 pm -

    See that whole “putting their dentures in” automatically nixes my family members.

    Strange, though, that The Family Support Members don’t have to cut their mullets.

  10. scarlet hip - January 29, 2008 at 5:41 pm -

    What about cleavage? Is that a necessity?

  11. Amy - February 6, 2008 at 8:58 pm -

    Pauly, where are you?

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