My Secret Ethnicity

So we know I’m caucasian.

But I’ve been breaking it all down and I’ve decided that if I wasn’t caucasian, I would definitely be Asian. That means I would be more Asian than Black, Mexican, Native American, Indian, Middle Eastern and other ethnicities. I wouldn’t be Asian for any of those stupid stereotypical reasons, but simply because I think with the kind of person I am, I feel like I’d be Asian.

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What would YOU be and why?

18 comments on “My Secret Ethnicity

  1. JM - December 4, 2007 at 11:19 pm -

    All I know is I am blacker than you, fool.

  2. Pauly D - December 4, 2007 at 11:20 pm -

    JM – I will officially concede that fact, as I have decided I am more Asian than your Blacker self.

    (Bows Asian head before your blackhead.)

  3. JM - December 4, 2007 at 11:21 pm -

    Good. And it only took you how long to admit you are the biggest rhythm-less liar ever?

  4. Pauly D - December 4, 2007 at 11:23 pm -

    JM – I never said I was a rhythm-less liar. In fact, my Asian self is like a kick-ass Asian DJ. And as we all know, since Asians are way into the tech-world (as I am as a white guy too, thus my choice to be Asian), I could totally rock the house, DJ, and toss out some great rhythms while you were still pulling up your baggy pants.


  5. JM - December 4, 2007 at 11:25 pm -

    Did you really just say, “rock the house?” That is so white. Like alabaster.

  6. Pauly D - December 4, 2007 at 11:26 pm -

    JM – For your information, “rock the house” is Native American. Not white. Although I do think there was a Native American tribe called the Alabaastah.

  7. JM - December 4, 2007 at 11:27 pm -

    I would also like to say that I am Native American-er than you. I mean, can you even shoot a bow or make a pot out of clay? Didn’t think so.

  8. Pauly D - December 4, 2007 at 11:28 pm -

    JM – I am through fighting you on this. But if I were going to continue fighting you on this I would do it in my buffalo pelt (which is Native American slang for “fur).

    But you wouldn’t know that, would you?

  9. JM - December 4, 2007 at 11:29 pm -

    Your mom.

  10. jacqueline - December 5, 2007 at 6:44 am -

    Do I need to seperate you two?

    Don’t make me come up there. I’ll put da whoopin on bof a’yas!!!

  11. Dylan - December 5, 2007 at 10:33 am -

    I’m pretty sure I’d be polynesian in some manner or another because I really would like to be able to use the word “hoi” or “poloi” and really SELL it, you know?

  12. LeRoi' - December 10, 2007 at 8:28 am -

    Man, I’ve been through this thought pattern before. I am a real big white guy with too many tattoos and way to free with my worthless opinion. I’d be black, I need the struggle.

  13. Fun Joel - December 13, 2007 at 6:43 pm -

    Damn, Dylan beat me to it. I was totally going to say Polynesian! Of course, anyone who has seen me strolling around (never walking fast) in my Hawaiian shirts knows that in fact I already AM a Pacific Islander. On the inside.

    Back me up here, Pauly!

  14. Sparky - December 14, 2007 at 12:43 am -

    I’d be Scottish and look just like Gordon Ramsay but I’d be nicer and wouldn’t swear hardly at all. My accent would be more Scottish and I would spend a lot of time looking in the mirror because I would think I looked fascinating too. And I’d talk just to hear myself talk.

  15. casey - December 15, 2007 at 5:11 pm -

    I’d totally be white. Like, fer sure.

  16. Veronique - January 2, 2008 at 2:14 pm -

    Oh my gosh definately a tall, blonde, Swedish ice princess type. I would dislike all things Swedish including, but not limited to: men named Sven, salmon, candle crown thingee’s on my head for the holidays and most of all neutrality. I would long for the day when I would meet my ‘dream man’; a wild eyed native American who really rocked the house. However, upon our first date I would tell him to lose the buffalo pelt or lose his angry, Swedish princess.

  17. CJ - January 3, 2008 at 3:16 am -

    I say that I would love to be British… I’m half right now, but I would love to be of the variety that was actually born in GB so that I’d have a thick cockney accent… well, because they’re awesome… and for no other reason… I’m not a hard person to please… at all really.

  18. Mr. McCoy - January 20, 2008 at 11:18 pm -

    I think I’d be exactly what I am– Irish and American Indian. I’m a whiskey loving, social alcoholic, who breaks out in either an Irish jig or an Indian rain dance when I’m drunk. In either case, I usually wake up naked in a fetal-position somewhere near the LA river.

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