How DirecTV Screws Its HD Customers

DirecTV is the Scrooge of the 2007 Holiday Season.

Imagine if Scrooge told you he had a great High Definition Package, thus causing you to subscribe to the service and pay the $9.99 fee for ALL their wonderful HD channels. And then imagine if Scrooge told you a few months later that he was going to add a bunch more for you — and all you had to do was upgrade your DVR so you could get them. All still for the $9.99? Scrooge would seem like a very un-Scroogeable kind of guy. Sort of nice. Pretty cool.

But Scrooge always ends up showing his true colors.

Effective December 15th, DirecTV quietly removed five of the original basic HD channels (HDNet Movies, Universal HD, MTV HD, MGM HD and Smithsonian HD). As someone who watched HDNet Movies and Universal HD quite a lot since the beginning, you can imagine my surprise when they were suddenly gone. Two of the original HD channels I had gotten in the main $9.99 package.

Apparently, per a DirecTV Supervisor (Badge #X3136), “DirecTV can change you package, your lineup, and ask for more money anytime they want. They don’t even have to tell you.”

So basically, I asked, “DirecTV can take away half my HBOs and put them into a new HBO Awesome Package and ask me to pay $5 bucks more a month to GET BACK THE CHANNELS I ALREADY HAD without any warning, respect or basic business acumen?” After the supervisor looked up the word “acumen” she said “YES.”

I don’t know, people — but I find that total bullshit that a company like DirecTV can give you a set of channels, charge you a certain amount FOR those channels, then quietly take some away and ask you to pay MORE MONEY for the channels you already had in the first place. I get suddenly charging more for a BRAND NEW SLATE of channels. But if I already had ’em? And was already paying for ’em? And if your equipment salespeople convinced me to upgrade so I could get ALL the channels?

I’d be pissed.

Which I am.

By the way, my next book is going to be ALL ABOUT DIRECTV.

WFME’s Gorilla/Human Factor: White Head Edition

Us humans and thems gorillas aren’t much different.

Out in the wild, gorillas take care of their young. In the civilized world, so too do humans. Out in the jungles of the Amazon, small spider monkeys groom their significant others, just as in the civilized world wives often help their husbands pick out clothing and choose new sunglasses and suits for upcoming festivities. Out in the wild, huge hairy gorilla-like beasts pick and pop a myriad of things off their significant other’s body.

In the civilized world, it seems, humans do the same damn thing.