Words About My New Career

After some consideration, I felt it was time to fill in WFME readers to my new life change.

As a result of my two books not being made into movies, not being turned into animated shows and not being optioned by a big star for a passion project, it appears as if most of my dreams of writing have fallen to the wayside. For months I questioned my future. For weeks I wallowed in self-pity. And then I decided on a brand new career.

A career that would change my life forever.

But when you’re attempting to come up with your new career you have to first remove the job elements you refuse to have be a part of your new career. It was October 19th, while sitting in a Panera Bread establishment that I scribbled down the elements of a job I would never want to be a part of. I folded up that napkin, put it away, and pulled it back out last week when I decided on my new career. That list, is verbatim, as follows:

  • No Carrots
  • No Cleaning Bathrooms
  • No Broccoli
  • No Shoe Polishing
  • No Royalty Whatsoever
  • No Vegetarian Scenarios
  • No Data Entry
  • No Horses
  • No Dream Transcription
  • No Stuffed Animals
  • No Glue, Glue Sticks or Post-Its
  • No Breadbowls
  • No Tuxes
  • No Costumes pre 1900’s
  • No Ferrets
  • No Bees
  • No Posing
  • No Modeling
  • No Red Vines

After consulting said list, after consulting said soul, I came up with the career that I will be embarking upon starting Monday. The month of November 2007 will forever be known as the month that Pauly D left his old life behind and took up the career of…

Hot Tub Repairman/Technician.

Sure, some of you are going to laugh — and that’s fine if you have to. But you probably don’t know there’s a whole union of Hot Tub Repairmen in California. You probably don’t know that you can become certified after a 12 week course (which I start Monday) and which will teach me two distinct skills that hardly ever go hand in hand with one another. Those two skills?

Dealing with water…AND electricity.

No person in their right mind would go rooting around in a hot tub fixing electrical wires and lights. An electrician would never do it, and a pool guy would never do it. They leave such death-defying scenarios to the hot tub repairman/technician.

Did you know there are only 1,892 (approximately) hot tub technicians/repairmen licensed in the state of California? Did you know that twelve weeks from Monday there will be 1,893?

Me. I’ll be one of them.

For those concerned that the writing will take a hit – don’t worry. I’ll still have time at nights and on weekends to keep the dream alive when the training is done. But part of me doesn’t even worry too much about the writing at the moment because I’m really feeling passionate about this new chapter in my life.

WFME, the title of which I won’t be changing….but instead of Words For My Enjoyment, it will be Water For My Enjoyment — and instead of writing clearly obscure humor posts about nothing, I’ll be concentrating on the crazy and life-threatening watery-electrical events I will face on a daily basis…

I think in the end it will get this blog a whole slew of new readers, and continue to entertain those who are still hanging on my every word.

We all have to change eventually, my friends.

It’s just that for me…the time is now.

21 comments on “Words About My New Career

  1. Don Ho - November 2, 2007 at 10:36 pm -

    that was a crack up

    touche, cousin

  2. Dave2 - November 3, 2007 at 3:35 am -

    I am fully expecting tales of naked supermodel hot-tubbing.

    And naked Hollywood actress hot-tubbing.

    And most definitely naked porn starlet hot-tubbing.

    Maybe you could turn this into a photo-blog?

  3. Danielle - November 3, 2007 at 6:13 am -

    Good thing I read the whole blog entry because for a minute I thought you bought a Panera franchise. ‘Course you could start the first Hot-Tub-Panera. I suspect the Meditteranean Veggie sandwich is quite delicious while submerged in hot frothy water.

  4. Dylan - November 3, 2007 at 7:44 am -

    I think this is a great fit for you, Pauly, because one thing that you didn’t mention as a great benefit of the Hot Tub Repairman/Technician is your ability (nay, your right) to test out every hot tub you come in contact with at any time you wish. Seriously! It’s on the labor card! On the back… You’ll see in twelve weeks (well, probably more like 16-18 weeks, as the Hot Tub Repairman/Technician labor department – part of the Governor’s cabinet – usually requires 4-6 weeks for delivery).

    And, the life of a Hot Tub/Technician is a stressful one (I don’t have to tell YOU that). You NEED these jaunts into random hot tubs just to stay sane.

  5. Pauly D - November 3, 2007 at 9:24 am -

    Dave2 – GREAT idea. A photo blog. That would require ZERO words from me whatsoever. You are ALWAYS thinking.

    Danielle – Yeah, but I’m sure once you saw the “no breadbowls” on my NOT list, you realized there is no way in HELL I could have opened a Panera Bread establishment.

    Dylan – As always, you are a wise Pamchenko dude.

  6. hadashi - November 3, 2007 at 1:29 pm -

    i am relieved to see that “no churros” did NOT make it on to your list. that would have been tragic.
    will you get to wear a sexy hot tub repairman jumpsuit? because if you do, that would have to go on your photoblog. no wait, that violates the “no posing/no modeling” rules…this could get complicated.

  7. monkeyinabox - November 3, 2007 at 2:59 pm -

    Pauly D – Paris Hilton just called and said your new job title was “hot”. I replied, “hot tub” and she still just said “that’s hot”. I tried to add “tub”, but it didn’t work. Stubborn pain in the butt.

  8. Amy - November 3, 2007 at 8:36 pm -

    Always make sure you’re grounded, Pauly. We wouldn’t want to lose you.

  9. scarlet hip - November 4, 2007 at 7:08 pm -

    Do hot tub repairmen have plumber’s crack? God I hope so.

  10. nanette - November 4, 2007 at 11:04 pm -

    I look forward to your hottub tales.

  11. MJBUtah - November 5, 2007 at 11:16 am -

    That is a cool and lucrative career. I have used the do-it-yourself approach to hot tub repair and that hasn’t gone well. Now I feel bad, realizing that there is actually a 12 week course and “certification” process that someone has to go through to do that. No wonder I screwed it up. (always open the pressure release valve before tightening the screwy ring thing around the filter, it will break and dump all of your water out the side of your hot tub if you don’t)

    Next time I can just call you!

  12. Nicole - November 6, 2007 at 8:24 pm -

    Paul- I’m happy to see that, unlike me, you haven’t let life interfere with your entertainment of the masses over the last year. While I was away getting married, burying my mother-in-law, buying my first house, honeymooning in Greece, et al, you managed to have a child who’s now (I believe) about one year old and still write for your loyal fans. Seems I have a lot of reading to do to get caught up, but I can’t wait!

  13. Jerry - November 7, 2007 at 12:20 pm -

    A word of advice for all of us who hang on Paul’s every word. It might seem a sign of solidarity to read Pauly’s upcoming post-certification posts while sitting in a hot tube but actually it is a very dangerous thing to do. I lost my grand Aunt Mildrid Luftwaffen that way. Please please please, towel off and access WFME from a dry place — if not for yourself or Pauly, for Aunt Mildrid.

  14. dgm - November 7, 2007 at 5:49 pm -

    I figured if you had a “no carrot” rule the “no horses” rule would soon follow. Damn it.

    So what kind of hi-tech hot tub repair is this that doesn’t use glue or glue sticks?

  15. Trish Monaco - November 8, 2007 at 1:18 pm -

    Hey stranger! I just can’t imagine you as a … well, anything but a writer. Last time we bumped into each other you were on your first book and headed to “an undisclosed location” to start writing for “unnamed reality tv show.” You were also on the other side of the mountains. Time flies. Looking good my friend!

  16. Kathleen - November 8, 2007 at 6:44 pm -

    I think Consumer Joe can make the jump to the big screen….

  17. Jill - November 12, 2007 at 4:42 pm -

    I like Post-It notes. I really, really do.

  18. Amy - November 12, 2007 at 7:09 pm -

    Pauly, are you on strike right now? You haven’t posted in ten days.

  19. Stacy - November 14, 2007 at 7:21 pm -

    Be sure to share this new CCDEH policy with your instructors and classmates. “Guidelines for the Installation and Operation of Fill and Drain Spas and Hot Tubs”
    http://www.ccdeh.com/commttee/community_EH/guidelines/ There are thousands of vacation rental homes and condos who offer these portable hot tubs which are a violation of the California code according to this policy.

    Hopefully, you and your classmates will work hard to improve these statistic in the US:
    http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/news/20040701/cdc-better-safety-needed-public-hot-tubs

    Here is some more information you may find useful: be careful out there….
    http://www.apsp.org/APSPRWQE-news/recreational.html
    http://www.isrm.co.uk/recreation/documents/REjul06pp32-34_000.pdf
    The UK has much better regulations than California and most states:
    http://www.hpa.org.uk/publications/2006/spa_pools/default.htm
    http://www.who.int/water_sanitation_health/bathing/bathing2/en/
    http://www.nspf.org/CPO_Blended.html

    Stacy Intille, RN

  20. mt - November 19, 2007 at 8:17 am -

    There must be more you can do with those initials. Water Filters Monthly Exchanged? What Fire Makes Evaporate? Water Fleas Manually Eradicated? Working For Movie Executives? I dunno. Anyway, smooth move and good luck!

  21. Amy - November 22, 2007 at 7:19 pm -

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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