Today’s Prognosis on Eating Things Off the Floor

What’s with this whole five second rule?

If I’m eating an Oreo cookie and the damn thing falls on the floor…and five minutes go by, you still better believe that I’m going to kneel down (using my legs, not my back), pick up that glorious little cookie, give it a quick five-second burst of air, and shove that baby back into my mouth. I’ll do it at a five minute count, a ten minute count, and the next morning if I find it wedged underneath the fridge.

Because this whole eating off the floor thing has gotten a totally bad rap.

Words About My New Career

After some consideration, I felt it was time to fill in WFME readers to my new life change.

As a result of my two books not being made into movies, not being turned into animated shows and not being optioned by a big star for a passion project, it appears as if most of my dreams of writing have fallen to the wayside. For months I questioned my future. For weeks I wallowed in self-pity. And then I decided on a brand new career.

A career that would change my life forever.