Today’s Thoughts on Fire Retarded Products

Yeah, yeah — retardant.

Still, I’m having a lot of trouble these days jumping on the whole “fire retardant” product bandwagon. I’ve got groups of friends calling me up night and day wondering if I bought this fire retardant mattress or that fire retardant winter jacket or this fire retardant carpet sealer or that fire retardant fireplace log… And honestly, I’m sick and tired of being pressured into buying a product that really doesn’t retard fire at all, but just retards for a few minutes before burning…

…which is in my opinion, literally…retarded.

Catching Another India-Based Technical Assistance Representative In A Lie

Me: “What’s your name?”

Him: [In Indian Accent] “Rick.”

Me: “Rick…what?”

Him: “Rick P. I cannot give out more information than that.”

Me: “And you’re based where…?”

Him: [In an Indian accent nowhere near resembling any accent from Texas] “Dallas, Texas.”

Me: “What kind of things do you do for fun in Dallas, Texas…Rick?”

Him: “I like cowboys.”

Me: “So, what — you go to the rodeo?”

Him: “I’m sorry, what?”

Me: “You said you liked cowboys.”

Him: “Yes, very much.”

Me: “I asked if you liked rodeos.”

Him: “I like cowboys.”

Me: “And you do cowboys for fun in Dallas, Texas?”

Him: “Exactly.”

A Brief Post Outlining My Most Recent Problems With Today’s TV Soundtrack Hipness

First, listen to this.

Sound familiar?

That’s probably because just about one-third of all new network and cable television shows have used this “extremely popular” no-longer-new song by Peter Bjorn and John and placed it in the soundtracks of their pilot or 2nd episodes of their new shows in an attempt to add some awesome street cred to their productions. Whether you’re Gossip Girl, Big Shots or a slew of others…they’re all getting their Bjorns on.

It’s just too bad none of these music producers are talking to any of the other music producers or else they’d all suddenly realize they’re pulling the same songs, from the same list, from the same popularity scales.

And it’s driving me crazy.