The Secret of Life Cereal

Most people want to know what the secret of Life cereal is.

Walk down the street of your local neighborhood or in and around coffee shops, parks and supermarkets…and listen closely to the conversations people are having. There’s talk of war, peace, relationships, the soul, G-d and so much more — but every conversation is surrounded and wrapped in the cloth of a question we all ask ourselves late at night, when everything is silent…and dark. People everywhere want to know what the secret of Life cereal is.

And today…I’m here to shed light on just that question.

Facebook Applications Are The New Pet Rock

The 1970’s brought us Gary Dahl’s famous Pet Rocks.

For about $3.95 you could buy an ordinary rock, swaddled in excelsior, wrapped in a glorious box and paired with a manual that helped you figure out how to care for your pet rock. It made Dahl a millionaire and about 400,000 people silly, fad-chasing automatons. And sadly, today, while there has yet to be money involved — our good friends over at Facebook are spitting out silly, time-wasting, ludicrous add-on applications that the automatons are flocking to yet again…and trying to get me to join.

Which I won’t. Because Facebook Applications are the new Pet Rock.

The Darjeeling Is Limited

I am sad sad sad sad sad.

The reason I am five-times sad is because I recently got the opportunity to see the latest film by my filmmaking idol Wes Anderson and I found myself wondering what happened to my good friend and his ability to create unique characters, amusing situations and a narrative through-line that was engaging and entertaining. I wondered throughout the movie if the reason had something to do with the fact that Owen Wilson didn’t help write this one. I wondered if it was me who had changed and Anderson who had remained the same…over time.

But the reality, of course, is that The Darjeeling Limited…is limited.

A Brief List of the Things That Hidden-Camera Reality TV Show Production Staff Members Are Tired Of Doing

  • Rushing out, at the time of reveal, clapping.
  • Accompanying said clapping with hilarious pointing at the person caught off-guard.
  • Open mouth, scream “ooooooh” while clapping and pointing.
  • Knee slapping to bolster oooh-ing, clapping, open-mouthed pointing.
  • Having to repeat, “no, this is a TV show” over and over again, while knee slapping, bolstered oooh-ing, open-mouthed pointing and clapping.
  • Joining in on the collective “woot woot woot-ing” that the higher-ups are doing.
  • Holding up camera that was once hidden as a way for “slower victims” to realize something was actually being filmed, from a hidden location… while woot woot woot-ing and slapping/oooh-ing/open mouthed pointing and clapping.
  • Checking crap off some damn checklist.

Unresolved Arguments, Vol. 2

Thanks to everyone’s enthusiasm for Unresolved Arguments, Vol. 1.

As a result of everyone’s extremely exciting and positive reaction to Unresolved Arguments, Vol. 1 — I would like to give something back to all those WFME readers by providing them Unresolved Arguments, Vol. 2. In Volume 2 of the award-winning Unresolved Arguments Series (based on the Unresolved Arguments CD) — I provide the argument (as I did in Vol. 1), the two sides of the argument, and let you the WFME reader try and decide how to resolve it. Really, it’s a cathartic experience for all.

I only hope you are all as successful as you were with your argument resolution techniques utilized in Vol. 1.