Today Is The Day I Capitalize On The Success of Hairspray With Other Ideas for Movie Musicals Based on Grooming Products

  • Gel! A rollicking musical set in the over-abundant 80’s, telling the story of Dirk Meadows, a successful Wall Street tycoon who just can’t stop singing the praises of this over-performing stocks. Well-dressed, with a severe gel-encased hair style, he’s got the women lusting after him and the competitors shaking in their boots.
  • Pomade! Patrick Pomade has got the world’s greatest idea next to velcro — it’s a pomade that has a firm hold while still keeping ones’ hair silky to the touch. But Millie Pomade, his horrible evil sister, has got other ideas for his unique invention. She wants to use it to give the Soviets the kind of power they need to win the Cold War. Set in the 50’s, this down home country-western musical has such memorable songs as “Pom-pom Pomade” and “I Feel Product In My Hair That Isn’t There.”
  • Rogaine! Present day musical set in the world of Generation X, now reaching their 40’s and combing over all their assets so to speak. Follows Charles Wigglesworth, a conservative radio talk show host who often breaks into song while attacking liberal callers. Your feet will be tapping to musical numbers “Republican, Republi-CAN’T” and “My Hair Ain’t There” as Charles Wigglesworth realizes the honor in truth and the truth in honor.
  • Hairlights! A clever play on the phrase “highlights” this off-Broadway charmer will sing its way into your heart as you live the experiences of dull, drab librarian Keelie Evans, a teenager with zero friends and zero confidence. But when she meets the after-hours security hunk Dabble Steemer (who happens to be a hair-highlighting hobbyist) her black and white existence turns up roses! You’ll double over in laughter with such Busby Berkeley-esque choreographed numbers as “Do-a-Dye” and “Dewey Decimal is My Darlin’ No More!”
  • Licenex! This sci-fi musical comedy is ahead of its time, retelling the story of Invasion of the Body Snatchers with music. But instead of an alien infestation, it’s all about lice. Infesting people’s scalps. Government investigators Hank Worber and Sissy Keen stumble upon a small midwestern town in Oklahoma where everyone’s heads have become taken over by lice. They try disease control but only music seems to be the alien’s downfall. You’ll be on the edge of your seat tapping your toes with musical numbers, “I Don’t Like Lice, No Sir I Don’t” and “I Shave, You Shave, We All Shave.”

5 comments on “Today Is The Day I Capitalize On The Success of Hairspray With Other Ideas for Movie Musicals Based on Grooming Products

  1. jacquie - July 26, 2007 at 6:11 pm -

    Hey everyone… lookie look! We can comment again… So what are you waiting for???

    Paul, as usual, this was hilarious. Is there no end to your wit?

  2. Jerry - July 27, 2007 at 6:20 am -

    finally we can post again. It is as if Moses Paul has led us out of the cyber-wilderness!

    DANDRIFT — Flaky, introverted misfit Dan wanders somewhat aimlessly through post-High School adulthood being a burden to his clueless parents and nothing but a noticable but harmless nuisance to friends who wish to ditch his outdated presence whenever possible. Through a series of whimsical conincidences he ends up the toast of the town, and in an arranged marriage to America’s hottest new starlett. Think “Muriel’s Wedding” only set to the entire Wham! catalog.

  3. Pauly D - July 27, 2007 at 8:13 am -

    Jerry – You’re a regular Stephen Sondheim.

  4. Pierce - July 27, 2007 at 8:25 am -

    Frankly I find a visit to the hairdressers probably the most terrifying thing I do on a bi-annual basis. Is there a market for horror musicals these days?

  5. ingenue - July 27, 2007 at 3:37 pm -

    I was on board until you got to Licenex!. Ew.

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