Introducing the Pauly-ku

Some people confuse it for a new kind of karate.

But the people who confuse Pauly-ku with a new kind of karate are also the same people who confuse Pauly-ku with a recently-discovered bird of the Toucan family located in a far off East India, as well as thinking it’s some kind of food dish that involves calamari and cream cheese. But in reality, the Pauly-ku is a brand new kind of haiku — but better, smarter and more fun.

And thus, today I’ll be introducing the Pauly-ku to you-too.

Let’s face it — the haiku is so 1654. Haiku poetry has been around so long that people now use haikus as the butts of jokes. Honestly, how often in the last ten years have close friends of yours (or humorists that you read) used the haiku to make a comedic point? How often have “hip friends” broke out their own five, seven, five-syllable joke just to become the center of the party?

How many times did you scream to the sky that you wished there was something better?

Enter, the Pauly-ku. Building on the success of Yamazaki Sokan and Arakida Moritake (generally known as the creators of the haiku), I have taken the five, seven, five syllable (three line) construction of the haiku and stripped it down to its bare bones. That’s right — the Pauly-ku is a simple first half of one word, eight syllable, second half of the same word, construction.

But there’s more.

To best illustrate how a Pauly-ku works, please take a look at these examples:

Dis-
I like eating old, stale swiss ch-
ease.

Ann-
Wife crashed my sports car, it was destr-
oyed.

Success-
Is a man who never is hate-
ful

As you can see, the Pauly-ku isn’t no pansy-ass’d haiku. There’s some thought that goes into the structure, where the first and last lines construct one thought or word. The middle line, with eight syllables is an example of such thought, but uses the last line to connect up and come full circle.

Yes, you can say it. The Pauly-ku is ingenious.

The truly gifted Pauly-ku creator is one who can create a poem where everything connects fluidly. An example of such superior Pauly-kuing is this:

Ex-
girlfriend got arrested and was
-cited.

The Pauly-ku is a new and exciting new way to be significant in today’s extremely-poetic world. If you can master the truly fluid Pauly-ku, then you can master anything.

17 comments on “Introducing the Pauly-ku

  1. Hilary - May 29, 2007 at 9:05 am -

    Here’s my Hilary-ku:

    Any-
    Frosted cupcake is a yummy-
    thing.

  2. Pauly D - May 29, 2007 at 9:15 am -

    Hilary – Technically, it’s still a Pauly-ku, but great work!

  3. kiki - May 29, 2007 at 9:23 am -

    I’m gonna rock this SO hard. I just need like, three more cups of coffee.

  4. kiki - May 29, 2007 at 9:31 am -

    Pig-
    Left to her own devices, Kri-
    sty.

    It’s not really very flattering, but whatever. My self-deprecation knows no bounds, not even syllabic.

  5. jacquie - May 29, 2007 at 10:02 am -

    Wow, Kristy chugged those 3 cups quickly. I’ll be back after dinner with my Pauly-kus, maybe.

  6. Jerry - May 29, 2007 at 11:23 am -

    cons-
    fully unresolved pressure of an-
    tipation

    Yes, right to the gutter. I can’t yet break from my dirty-minded limmerick training.

  7. Pauly D - May 29, 2007 at 11:30 am -

    Jerry – It was a good try, but what is antipation? Line two and line three have to at least form a real world. Thems the rules!

  8. jerry - May 29, 2007 at 12:08 pm -

    It made so much perfect sense in my head! And this was the one that was going to break me into the big times. oh well, as the saying goes, “poor spellers of the world Untie!”

  9. Wordmaven - May 29, 2007 at 12:25 pm -

    Your own cult, spoilers for “Heroes”, creating new poetry forms? Is there NO END to the Paulypermeation of our society? I’m going to go meditate and come up with a Pauly-ku to blow your mind.

  10. kiki - May 29, 2007 at 2:13 pm -

    I could be all sombre:

    Mine-
    Inner-conflict, fighting, battle-
    field.

    But that’s kind of annoying. I thought of this one, too, though it sounds way more bitter than I intended:

    David-
    My ex husband; a real bitch’s
    son.

    So how about:

    Boob-
    The poor guy paying for her blow
    job.

  11. sandra - May 29, 2007 at 2:28 pm -

    God, Pauly D — I didn’t ask to be intellectually challenged today.

  12. Pauly D - May 29, 2007 at 3:01 pm -

    Kiki – You are a master, that’s for sure. Damn good!

    Sandra – You can just sit back and pretend none of this ever happened.

  13. Stacey - May 29, 2007 at 6:37 pm -

    Right, right. Reading this blog requires thought. Too bad it’s past my bedtime.

  14. kiki - May 29, 2007 at 6:37 pm -

    Aww, shucks. You’re just saying that because I invoked your last name and wrote -ku about blow jobs!

    master-
    nah…i’m not even all that
    -bitter.

    😉

  15. alejna - May 29, 2007 at 6:54 pm -

    miser
    bastards took away my free c-
    able

  16. alejna - May 29, 2007 at 7:04 pm -

    dent-
    floss well or submit to that sad-
    ist

  17. alejna - May 29, 2007 at 7:48 pm -

    pill-
    this will make you sleep till tomorr-
    ow

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