Words for My Enjoyment

Over-Analyzing The Frozen Yogurt Theme Song

April 19th, 2007

First, listen to the Pinkberry frozen yogurt theme song.

Created for the Los Angeles sensation of Pinkberry, this cheery, catchy, annoying, repetitive little ditty plays in all of Pinkberry’s stores, which is fine for those walking in and out for a minute — but borders on Chinese water torture for those who have to work there. But besides looking into the torture such a song might be for Pinkberry workers county-wide, I would rather spend my time over-analyzing the lyrics to their catchy tune…

…so all of us might get a glimpse into just what Pinkberry executives were going for.

Creating a song that airs on the radio is one thing. That’s entertainment. But creating a song that only plays (over and over and over again) in a frozen yogurt shop has got to be vetted. It’s got to be safe. Unvulgar. Listenable for all ages, races and sexual orientations. It’s got to go through legal channels, it’s got to be approved, and every line has to be checked and double-checked just in case.

And so, to the best of my ability, I would like to give you a little insider’s look as to why the lyrics say what they do by using quotes from actual Pinkberry employees, customers and a variety of other educators who chimed in on today’s over-analyzation.

Without further adieu — open your eyes and your mind:

Sorry ice cream,
I’m dreaming of a different dessert.

According to employees of Pinkberry, “lawyers at headquarters were worried that in the event ice cream had a lawyer, the cream might sue the ‘Berry — so they apologized right out of the gate just to be safe.”

Pinkberry shaved ice and frozen yogurt.
It doesn’t feel like I’m cheatin’,
when I’m eatin’ it,
cause it’s healthy.
I feel better already.

Without providing boring testimonials, Pinkberry executives wanted to “subliminally convince people they’d feel better just by eatin’ it.” By incorporating the rhythmic repetition of cheatin’ and eatin’, “it revs up people’s appetite and makes them hungry,” says UCLA Professor of Psychology Dr. J Eldow.

Tart and sweet,
fresh and airy,
blue and black,
straw and raspberry.
Succulent mango,
tangy kiwi or pineapple
top it up!

Because Pinkberry is such a strange new kind of flavor (non-dairy plain tangy frozen yogurt), the creative minds behind the Pinkberry theme song suggested providing a slew of adjectives to describe the treat. Tart. Sweet. Fresh. Airy. But something strange, it seems, slipped through. “We don’t have any blue toppings or black toppings that are fruits,” says a Pinkberry employee. Seemingly, someone is trying to create an equal opportunity song, where blue people and black people don’t feel left out.

Swirly and fluffy
exquisite dream.

According to etymologists (people who study words and the creation of words), “airy and swirly and fluffy all mean the same thing, which makes this song extremely repetitive.” But according to Pinkberry workers, “Airy has to do with thickness. Swirly is the shape. And fluffy has to do with fluffness.” Good work, Pinkberriers.

Sorry ice cream,
I’m on my way to Pinkberry!
Sorry ice cream,
Im on my way to…
P I N K B E R R Y, Pinkberry
P I N K B E R R Y, Pinkberry
P I N K B E R R Y, Pinkberry
P I N K B E R R Y, Pinkberry.

More apologies. Two more times, “as a result of worried lawyers, still concerned that if ice cream had a lawyer, they’d come after the Pinkberry family with guns blazing.”

I wonder should i get it plain or green tea,
it doesn’t matter to me.
Don’t care how long i have to wait,
I like it in the rain or in the wintertime,
like a burst of sunshine.

After the West Hollywood store created havoc (i.e. long lines, parking nightmares, residents complaining to the city), the Pinkberry entrepreneurs wanted to make sure people were prepared for what they were about to experience. Thus, when the song was created (but after the West Hollywood issues), they included yet another subliminal disclaimer regarding long lines, incliment weather, and patrons who can’t seem to decide between plain or green tea — “one of the biggest reasons for long lines,” says staffers.

Good for my body,
good for my mouth,
good for my mind,
good with the family,
good with a friend,
with a lover or alone.

Funnily enough, “patrons often ask silly questions about the yogurt,” says Pinkberry staffers in the West Hollywood store. “A lot of people ask if it’s good for them and good for their family.” But even weirder questions? “It’s weird — people ask if they should buy some for a lover or just eat it all alone.” Mystery solved as to why those lyrics are included.

It’s an obsession,
pure and delightful,
simple and heavenly,
and guilt free.
Yummy.
Pinkberry.

More adjectives. “Our boss loves adjectives. He also loves MAD LIBS.”

Sadly enough, all this over-analyzing has still not removed the song from my skull. I only hope that by the time you finish this post (and finish listening to this song) that you, too, will be trapped in the fluffy, airy, tart and tangy hell I’m currently living in.

I curse you, Pinkberry.

C U R S E Y O U, curse you.

Posted under Analyzing, Frozen Yogurt, Pinkberry, Theme Songs. |