You may or may not remember when I determined who would win in a fight between Katie Couric and Jane Pauley.
Back then, the Katie Couric camp was pleased to know that “their girl” would win in a fight, according to WFME statistics. The Jane Pauley camp tried their best to support their girl, but it just was too late. The fight had been sussed out and there was nothing anyone could do. It was, to say the least, a resounding success. It’s a wonder WFME hasn’t seen a “versus” fight since then.
This morning, for some strange reason, my thoughts randomly turned to 70’s teen star Kristy McNichol and TV hottie (and Brady Bunch sibling) Maureen McCormick — and who would win in an all out brawl.
Spitfire Attitude +2
Quick With Her Hands (I.e. Great Reflexes) +1
Once Dated A Pirate -1
Knows Matt Dillon, Who Has Taught Her A Few Things +2
Well-Known For Her Back-Handed Wrist-Twisted Open Hand Slap +3
Hates Public Attention, So May Not Show Up -1
Short Hair (no tangling) +1
Trademark Necklace (for strangling) +2
Learned a Few Marine Corps Hand-to-Hand Combat Moves From Empty Nest‘s Robert Mulligan +1
Been Through It All, Tough Like Nails +2
Rallying Cry “Marsha Marsha Marsha” Winds Her Up Good +2
Country Singer, So She’s Used To Pain +1
Currently Looking To Lose Some Weight -1
Used To Getting Hit In The Nose By Foreign Objects +1
Can Cry on Command (intimidation factor) +1
Knows How To Do Long Division +1
Trademark “Harvey Klinger” Double-Handed Grab +1
Never Gives Up, As Evidenced In That Brady Bunch Episode Where She Got Davy Jones To Play For Her High School Dance +3
Kristy McNichol: 11
Maureen McCormick: 12
Winner: Maureen McCormick
Let the numbers stand on their own.