Words Between The Button Pushers

[I am already in the elevator when SHE enters.]

Me: “Where ya goin’?”
Her: “Seventh floor, but I’ll pre-“

[I press the button for the seventh floor.]

Me: “No problem, I got it.”

[She stares at me, seemingly annoyed, then the doors to the elevator close. A few seconds later-]

Her: “I said I was going to press it.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Her: “The button. For the seventh floor. I said I was going to press it.”
Me: “Ok.”
Her: “But YOU pressed it.”
Me: “I was doing you a favor.”
Her: “Well the next time doing favors for someone involves pressing an elevator button after someone else expresses their desire to press the button themselves, maybe you should leave well enough alone.”
Me: “You’re kidding, right?”
Her: “I don’t kid about someone pushing my buttons.”

10 comments on “Words Between The Button Pushers

  1. Stacey - March 31, 2007 at 7:11 am -

    I witnessed a similar exchange, except it involved four year olds.

  2. k - March 31, 2007 at 8:06 am -

    I’m betting OCD. And also she’s no good in bed.

  3. Pauly D - March 31, 2007 at 8:35 am -

    Stacey – Were you riding the elevator with the four year olds? And if so, who lets four year olds press buttons on elevators? As we very well know from TV, four year olds like to press EVERY SINGLE BUTTON at once.

    K – I don’t know how you got from point A to point B, but I like the way you think.

  4. Jerry - March 31, 2007 at 8:42 am -

    This is metaphorical isn’t it? She has just come out of a stifling relationship. Her therapist suggested she start to take control of the direction of her life. She is apprehensive about entering the confines of the elevator as it represents re-entering life and having a man there pushing her floor is akin to all the men in her life dictating how she will live. As instructed, she sought to assert her independence and pick her own destination but you disregarded her opinion, in fact you completely cut her off rather dismissively. This angered her and she lashed out through you at all the men who have brought her to this point. She instantly has come to the realization that she is still weak.

    You sir, have destroyed 3 months of intensive therapy.

    Either that of she is a very angry feminist.

  5. k - March 31, 2007 at 8:49 am -

    No? Is that not a direct path from A to B? Hmm.

    I just get the sense she’s a lights-off, think-of-the-queen kinda gal.

  6. Dave2 - March 31, 2007 at 9:54 am -

    Surely a nice slap in the face would have put things into perspective for her? And, assuming you didn’t grab her phone and dial 911 yourself, she’d also have an opportunity to press her own mobile phone buttons. It’s a win-win situation!

  7. Jacquie - March 31, 2007 at 10:10 am -

    Pauly, I’m sure you’re used to hearing that last line quite frequently in your day to day adventures.

  8. Brooke - March 31, 2007 at 6:52 pm -

    I can’t believe you didn’t proceed to push every button between the first and seventh floors! Have you learned nothing from me? You’ll know better next time.

  9. Jaana - April 2, 2007 at 6:49 pm -

    So, what do you do when you enter an elevator and ALL the buttons are pushed? Then, at one of the floors you now must stop on, someone else gets on and looks at you like YOU pushed all the buttons?

    This happens to me all the time.

    Ok, so maybe ONCE I pushed all the buttons…

  10. CJ - April 3, 2007 at 9:27 am -

    This is why I carry a large blunt object; to knock some sense into the idiots of the world.

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