An old man turned ninety-eight, he won the lottery and unfortunately the newly adopted rules, as voted on by the California State Lottery Commission state that anyone over ninety-seven is ineligible for winning the lottery.
It’s a death row pardon two minutes early, but because of the idiot who doesn’t know how to answer those new touch-screen cell phones, he hung up on the Governor and it went to voice mail instead.
It’s like rain on your wedding day, when the two people getting married are meteorologists.
Isn’t that really truly ironic?
It’s the good advice that someone said was good advice, when in reality the good advice motivated you to join a pyramid scheme that you didn’t think was a pyramid scheme since you believed you were getting good advice in the first place.
Mr. Play It Safe, who was afraid to fly, packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye. He waited his whole damn life to take that flight, only to find that when he found his seat, he was seated next to someone who obviously should have purchased two seats for their one butt, but instead chose to squeeze themselves into one seat. Which sort of ruined this flight he’d been waiting for his whole damn life.
Honestly, that’s really truly ironic.
It’s like ten thousand spoons when you don’t ever eat anything with spoons because it grosses you out at how people who use spoons never fully suck the food off the spoon after each bite.
It’s meeting the man of your dreams and then finding out he’s not a man at all. And then meeting his beautiful wife, who technically isn’t a woman either.
Seriously. That’s really truly ironic.
Don’t you think?