WFME Is Now Officially Recognized As A Non-Profit For-Profit Philanthropical Charity Organization

“Oh my god.”

These were the words dangling forth from my lips yesterday when I hinted at the big changes a comin’ for Words For My Enjoyment. For over three years this site has functioned as a personal humor blog, entertaining readers from across the World with my own words — and hopefully making a difference at every turn where it mattered. And yet, I felt as if something was missing. Something important. Until now.

Until I officially filed papers, making WFME (effective immediately) a non-profit, for profit, philanthropical charity organization.

You can imagine how quickly I called my relatives when the greenlight came through giving WFME it’s official N.P.F.P.P.C.O. status. No longer would my relatives refer to “the blog” as just another insignificant chapter in my wholly-significant online life. I now had an official twelve digit number, paperwork signed by California’s Philanthropical Non-Profit offices in Sacramento, and a watermarked (and now framed) certificate signifying such.

Thankfully, the family was just as impressed as I hope all of you will be.

But what you’re probably asking yourself is the one big question most people ask after hearing such important details. “How is an official N.P.F.P.P.C.O. blog different from the other blogs I read?” Which is a good question. But just the tip of the iceberg. So, due to the fact that WFME is now going to be changing pretty substantially from what you’re used to, I worked up this simple (yet detailed) FAQ, so you wouldn’t be caught off guard when the changes start to be implemented here. I hope these questions answer all your questions and get you excited for the next chapter in Words For My Enjoyment.

“Oh my god” indeed. Oh. My. God.

FAQ

What does N.P.F.P.P.C.O. stand for?
All those fancy consonants and vowels stand for “Non-Profit for Profit, Philanthropical Charity Organization.”

And what does that exactly mean?
It means that any organization lucky enough to become inducted into the N.P.F.P.P.C.O.’s circle by its parent organization in Sacramento, California is permitted to gain capital and donate said capital to philanthropical causes without being taxed. It also means that because an organization is a non-profit organization, they are held in higher regard due to their selflessness and dedication to those less fortunate.

But how will that affect what I read on WFME?
At first glance, picking out the differences on WFME since its’ induction into the N.P.F.P.P.C.O. circle may be tough. But if you know what to look for, you’ll pick it out like a sore thumb. Most posts will now be subtly dedicated to the less fortunate. From the homeless to the polar bears quickly going extinct in the North and South Pole areas, each and every post will be written FOR a group that is less fortunate or in desperate need. What will probably be easier to notice will be the constant guilt you’ll feel for not doing your part.

Will I still laugh out loud in my office or cubicle?
Do you laugh when you see someone get hit in the nuts with a baseball bat? Do you laugh when you see some guy get rear ended on the freeway? Do you laugh when you hear Middle Eastern countries’ leaders threaten your home country with violence and nuclear weapons? Do you laugh when movies like Blood Diamond dramatize the senseless killings of innocent children and women for the sake of the diamond trade? Do you laugh when people choke on their own vomit? Then YES. You will still laugh out loud in your office or cubicle.

Right. I get that. But will I still laugh out loud in my office or cubicle?
No. No, you won’t.

How will I be able to be sure that my patronage of WFME and its humor posts will not be used to support causes that I’m against?
Now you’re just being silly. You don’t want to ask that question.

Sure I do.
No you don’t.

Whose FAQ is this anyway? A FAQ for you to answer the questions you think people want the answers to, or a FAQ with questions and answers that I want the answers to.
Who let you in here?

What’s it to you?
Uh, I’m the guy writing the FAQ.

And don’t you think you should shoulder a little more responsibility then?
No. FAQs are notoriously one-sided and personal to the author of said FAQ.

Can’t you just tell me how this whole N.P.F.P.P.C.O. thing is going to affect ME, the WFME reader?
Fine.

Well you don’t need to pout. Just tell me.
I’m telling you…

Okay.
OK. Like I was saying — being a non-profit organization makes WFME much more human. It makes WFME much more important. While before we were more like the Paris Hilton of blogs, now we’re more like the Al Gore of blogs. Whereas Paris Hilton would have used the blog to promote herself and her perfume, Al Gore would have used the blog to better his readers in any way possible. Al Gore also would have used the blog to make a profit, and use said profit to benefit a slew of philanthropical causes. We like to think we’ll still be as showy as Paris Hilton, but have more of a soul, like Al Gore.

What does non-profit for profit mean, exactly?
It means that WFME can post a blog entry and ask for money for a good cause, then turn around and use that money to buy a pizza and a six pack of beer. Which we would never do.

And where does the charity part come in?
That’s the last word in “N.P.F.P.P.C.O.” The C and the O refer to “charity organization.”

No, I mean — how is WFME going to be a charitable organization?
Excuse me, but we already were. We gave free content for three years. For no charge. To people who were needy and needed comedy. We did that for free. That’s called charity. Finally, though, with our approved N.P.F.P.P.C.O. status, we’re able to officially call ourselves a charitable organization, and accept donations to that end, and that makes it a good deal for you, for us, and for the homeless people on free WiFi who are RIGHT THIS MINUTE spitting milk out their nose while reading about the squirrel that ate cottage cheese out of my fridge.

Is there anything else we should know?
I’m apparently allergic to cattle.

Great, thanks.
No problem.

10 comments on “WFME Is Now Officially Recognized As A Non-Profit For-Profit Philanthropical Charity Organization

  1. Jeff - February 18, 2007 at 6:29 am -

    You and Sarah Silverman are friends, aren’t you.

  2. Wordmaven - February 18, 2007 at 7:40 am -

    I’m shocked!
    I. Don’t. Believe. It.
    Al Gore has a soul? I thought he was a robot.

  3. Brooke - February 18, 2007 at 10:45 am -

    I want my money back.

  4. Amy - February 18, 2007 at 6:46 pm -

    Damn! I thought the “Oh. My. God,” meant that your wife was pregnant again. Maybe next time.

  5. Jacquie - February 18, 2007 at 7:33 pm -

    Ok, first of all, I totally think you are making this up.

    Second, who is this “WE” that you are always referring to.

    Pauly, you may be great, but you are still only one person.

  6. Pauly D - February 18, 2007 at 7:56 pm -

    Jeff – We’re acquaintances. But not friends.

    Brooke – Part of being a non-profit for profit blog means that we don’t have to give you anything back. Not even the time you wasted reading about how we’d handle it if our left hand was a wet piece of steak and our right hand was a tuba.

    Amy – Good god. That would mean I was crazy.

    Jacquie – While the “face” of this blog is yours truly, there are people behind the scenes who make this blog run smoothly. Thus, the “WE.”

  7. Karl - February 19, 2007 at 5:01 am -

    As usual with you, it’s difficult to separate the fact from the funny. I’ll keep reading…until you show up on my doorstep begging for change. Then I’ll invite you in for a beer.

  8. kapgar - February 19, 2007 at 11:27 am -

    Since you’re philanthropic, can you give me money?

  9. Pauly D - February 19, 2007 at 11:55 am -

    Kapgar – Are you going extinct?

  10. Rantingmama - February 19, 2007 at 8:36 pm -

    Well congratulations Pauly! I thought this day would never come.
    I’d donate but I just trashed my laptop with free WiFi with nose milk. Uh…can you pull some of your philanthropic strings to get me back up and running?
    And yes, I am going extinct and I’m an historical monument. Just ask my daughter.

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