Ten Classic TV Shows, Reimagined For Today’s Discerning Audiences

  1. Petticoat Junction: (Reality) Hot chicks. In a water tower. That’s been “reimagined” into a hot tub with endless Ketel One vodka screwdrivers. Each week, one guy enters the hot tub in an attempt to snag the phone number of one of the Petticoat hotties. Each week, one man enters…and if he’s lucky…he leaves with a chick! Oh, and in the opening interviews, the girls wear petticoats. But not in the hot tub. In the hot tub…they wear nothing!
  2. Gilligan’s Island: (Drama) Gill Egan wakes up one day on a remote tropical island, only to find out that the island is empty. How he got there, he has no idea. Why he’s there? No idea. Yet one day (in the pilot) he finds a portal that he can’t go through himself, but that (each week) deposits one unhappy person from their lives in the real world to the island. Now it’s up to always-chipper Gill to show each person the meaning of life, and convince them that living with him on the island is far less problematic than what’s going on in their own lives. Think Highway to Heaven except the highway is the island, and Heaven is leaving the island.
  3. Love, American Style: (Family Comedy) A Japanese exchange student comes to America after becoming obsessed with the culture — yet finds that everything he’s seen on TV is nothing like the real world he crashes head on into. Without money or a job, he takes a job as a fluffer in California’s porn world and falls in love with a composer of porn movie scores. Soon thereafter, he finds out just what it means to fall in love, American style!
  4. DragNet: (Nighttime Soap) In the vein of Melrose Place and Dynasty comes this nighttime soap that follows the working class Gibson family — known for their amazing seasonal catches of the best shrimp in the world. That’s right — they’re fisherman. And while the men are on the high seas “dragging nets” across Poseidon’s realm, the women are into catfights the likes of which no mere mortal has ever seen.
  5. The Munsters: (Procedural Drama) It’s C.S.I. meets Night of the Living Dead as a family of horrific looking zombies solve crimes in the netherworld on a weekly basis. Herman Munster is the patriarch of this crime-solving group of malcontents, and he leads them to make the dark corners of the world safe for everyone else. Note: Main credits roll over “You’re the Inspiration” by Chicago.
  6. The Brady Bunch: (Comedy) A suburban husband and wife have sextuplets, who all happen to have been fused together in the womb. Now, “this bunch” of kids must go through their day to day life coping with the comedy of never being able to leave each other’s sides! The pilot episode concerns a particularly hilarious situation where one of the Brady sextuplets stars in a school play as Shakespeare’s Romeo, while the others pretend to be trees! LOTI!
  7. Leave It To Beaver: (Animated) Based on the classic comedy film Caddyshack, this animated Saturday morning cartoon is about Buford the Beaver (a friend of the gopher originally in the film version of this comedic yarn) — the new underground nemesis of Bushwood Country Club’s own groundskeeper Cappie Spackler (son to Carl Spackler, the original groundskeeper from the comedic filmic yarn). Each week they try to outdo each other, which usually results in total grass and tree destruction! But it’s animated, so all that cartoon violence is, um, cartoony.
  8. Father Knows Best: (Reality) In each stressful, heart-breaking episode — a father plans his daughter’s wedding FOR HER. If you saw Bridezillas you’ve seen nothing yet.
  9. The Monkees: (Fantasy/Sci-Fi) This hour long sci-fi fantasy show follows the flying monkeys made famous in The Wizard of Oz. Each week focuses not on the Wicked Witch, but the private lives of the flying monkeys, their relationships and personal struggles, and the fact that they’re all slaves to the magic leanings of their boss. One part workplace comedy, one part serious dramatic storytelling — the Monkees is bound to beat Heroes into the ground like an old bloody piece of ground chuck.
  10. The Flying Nun: (Comedy) Think Wings meets Ally McBeal in this workplace comedy about a female private pilot running her own charter business out of a small airport in Seattle, Washington. And she’s quirky, which makes it awesome fun!

9 comments on “Ten Classic TV Shows, Reimagined For Today’s Discerning Audiences

  1. wordmaven - January 29, 2007 at 7:42 am -

    Bewitched: (reality show) A determined crew of psychologists, ex-FBI agents and herbalists go international – retrieving individuals from weird cults and “religious” groups. Deprogramming them at the request of their families. Of course, the crew are all very attractive. Think “Dr. Phil” meets “The Amazing Race”.

  2. jerry - January 29, 2007 at 8:29 am -

    Party of Five: Reality show where every week four public figures (random collection of pro athletes, politicians, actors, authors) join Michael Jackson for dinner and discussion at Neverland Ranch.

  3. Pauly D - January 29, 2007 at 9:24 am -

    Jerry – I’d totally watch that show. In fact, I’d like to produce it. Can I steal it from you?

  4. James Cooper - January 29, 2007 at 9:46 am -

    Why the heck am I being subjected to loads of utter dreck on television when there are great ideas like these floating around. Aside from copyright, liability, and other legal issues, that is. These shows must have their pilots!

  5. jerry - January 29, 2007 at 10:02 am -

    Paul, My name in credits and a respectable royalty and you can run with it. Email me and we can hammer out the details.

  6. Dan day ever after - January 29, 2007 at 10:24 am -

    You are a veri-irritable font ala font

    Pauly D.

    You really put the D. in ID.eas

    How do you keep up with yourself?

  7. Dan day ever after - January 29, 2007 at 10:36 am -

    But what if just for example…what if you and I were Siamese Twins?

    How ’bout that?

    We could have a bloggamawhozits called

    “A War Of Words For My – (No, My )..
    Conjoinment.

    No?

  8. Mr. Beer Belly - January 29, 2007 at 8:28 pm -

    Green Acres – Ralph Nader stars in this sitcom about a man who operates an auto junk yard. He is conflicted between destroying cars that are unsafe at any speed and the ecological damage he causes with fine metal and plastic particulate floating off into the air and into the ground. Join us Tuesday nights.

  9. Eve - February 1, 2007 at 4:29 pm -

    I totally love the idea for The Munsters!

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