Jessica Simpson Walked Past Me
January 20th, 2007
I was at The Farm restaurant at The Grove outdoor shopping area/theme park in Los Angeles yesterday when Jessica Simpson walked right past me.
I was eating my lunch at a table when she and a friend walked past me and settled in at a table at the far end of the restaurant, where Jessica Simpson could be obscured by the rest of the restaurant by a tiny little table wall. But she was behind that wall, drinking and eating just like normal people. She even spoke up and ordered her lunch when the waitress prompted her.
Just like you and me.
There came a point during her meal when Jessica Simpson got up from her obscured table wall area and went to the bathroom. On her way to the bathroom she walked by alternating which foot she thrust forward, then pushed open the women’s bathroom door just like normal human beings like you and me. She was gone for what seemed like an eternity, but which was really only about five minutes and twelve seconds — at which point she sat back down behind the table wall division and resumed her meal (which was obscured by the table wall division).
It was, to say the least, an extremely exciting experience for all.
Except that if you had gone into the bathroom after she was done it would have smelled like roses.
Comment by Jeff — January 20, 2007 @ 8:29 am
You mean to tell me that she converts edible consumables into waste matter and dispels it through a series of bodily contractions just like everyone else?!? No, no I can’t believe it. I always assumed it joined the rest of the fecal matter in her brain.
Thanks for the insight.
Comment by Man On The Street — January 20, 2007 @ 8:38 am
You must eat at the swankiest places.
Comment by Lacy — January 20, 2007 @ 8:53 am
Wow! I just read the blog entry of the guy who was in the same restaurant at the same time as… sigh… Jessica Alba! What? Oh, Jessica Simpson. Whatever.
Comment by Susan — January 20, 2007 @ 10:48 am
“Everyone Poops”
Comment by jadepark — January 20, 2007 @ 1:39 pm
Sounds like JS was having a finger for dessert…
Comment by sarah — January 20, 2007 @ 7:45 pm
“It was, to say the least, an extremely exciting experience for all.”
Well, apparently for you it was but thankyou so much for thinking of us as always and trying to share the excitement.
I walked past Jessica Simpson in Times Square this past July and said “Hey, that was Jessica.” When people asked Jessica who? I told them it was Jessica Alba and that was pretty exciting too.
Comment by jacquie — January 20, 2007 @ 9:09 pm
She walked right past you? Who does she think she is?
Comment by Pierce — January 21, 2007 @ 3:45 am
Yawn
Comment by LisaBinDaCity — January 21, 2007 @ 7:02 am
but…what was she wearing!?
Comment by ms. sizzle — January 21, 2007 @ 7:56 am
it’s times like these I’m glad I’m too ugly to be famous.
Comment by Kathleen — January 21, 2007 @ 9:50 am
And how dirty do you feel having shared air with her?
Comment by kapgar — January 21, 2007 @ 6:39 pm
Kapgar - Only because you asked… I find Jessica Simpson to be completely heinous in many ways. Sure, you could say she’s hot, but I believe that who she is makes her un-hot. Yes, that’s right. So sharing her air made me feel…dirty. And cheap. And dumb.
Comment by Pauly D — January 21, 2007 @ 8:06 pm
i’m pleased that you’re back to reporting Pauly D. vs. Some Celebrity Encounters… there really haven’t been enough since, oh, i don’t know, this summer when you teased us with Star Jones or reported some celebrity person not buying their kids pets. i guess it’s just that deep down inside, i’m breathlessly awaiting another Pauly D. vs. Some Celebrity Encounter of the awesomeness level that was the Mr. T. at Starbucks one.
it’ll happen…i mean, you do live in L.A.
Comment by hadashi — January 21, 2007 @ 9:57 pm
Hadashi - I’ve been collecting a few of them for future writings, including the time I ran into Vanna White at my local Katsu Ya sushi place in Studio City and the woman had zero make-up on (read: she looked like my grandmother). I told her she looked nothing like the Vanna White from TV’s Wheel of Fortune, to which she responded, “Yes, I haven’t looked like TV’s Vanna White for twenty-two years now.”
Anyway, more to come.
Comment by Pauly D — January 21, 2007 @ 10:13 pm
what?!?
next you’ll be saying her poop does not smell of sunflowers.
crazy.
Comment by Groonk — January 23, 2007 @ 3:26 am
now, I expect that she was only eating either the “pop-ables” pizza from pizza hut, or the buffalo wings from dominoes or some tuna, only from Chicken of the Sea… right?
Comment by CJ — February 22, 2007 @ 10:09 am
I just happened to stumble across this website by mistake but i was once again reminded of just how enevitable and truly sad it is that such a useful and boundless resource such as the internet is constantly abused by idiots who think they have the right to create a website featuring such articles as the offending one above. What could possess you to assume that anyone would be interested or envious of your encounter with Jessica Simpson? Perhaps if the subject of your pitiful study was someone a little more deserving such as, dare i say it, Johnny Depp who can actually act and has an obvious on and offscreen charisma and original intellect, then this childish collection of words would have some limited meaning. No one needs to know that the woman went to the toilet in the middle of her meal to accept that she is normal. Of course she is normal and of course she goes to the toilet. The fact that she attempts to sing and act does not mean she is not a normal person with normal bodily functions. This should be something that goes without saying but it obviously doesnt for some unfortunate Americans such as Paul Davidson who seem to insist on sharing their ignorant obssessions with the “Hollywood Elite”,with the rest of the world. Why do you do it Paul? For the love of God,why?
If for any reason people like Jessica Simpson are not normal it is because they are so self absorbed and righteously selfish that they lose any scraps of a personality that could have once been present. This is a direct result of the psychological effects on their brain caused by people like Paul Davidson who upon hearing the enlightening news that Jessica Simpson goes for a shit like everyone else, proceeds to offer her his hand to wipe her arse with. Left that bit out of your wee story didnt you Paul!
Comment by Sophie — February 24, 2007 @ 10:39 pm
Sophie - To answer your question, I heard that Jessica Simpson actually asks her assistants to help her “you know what” in the bathroom — which is probably why she has such high turnover in the assistant market.
Comment by Pauly D — February 24, 2007 @ 11:10 pm