WFME’s New Year Fear: Movie Theater Headrest Lice

It’s only January 7th and here comes a new fear.

Someone just told me that if you rest your head on a movie theater headrest and rub it around that you could potentially get some kind of obscure headrest lice that will eventually cause all your hair to fall out. It’s sort of like a tapeworm in your intestines, except this one is on your head. And you get it by going to the movies.

Thanks, Hollywood. Thanks a lot.

Now this means that I have to always wear a hat to the movies, which will not only make my head itchy but it will also cause me to have to take off my hat at regular intervals in the movies so I can scratch my head, which will allow people to see my messed up hair in the middle of a movie. Even worse, since I go to the same movie theater all the time, now they’re going to always see me wearing a hat and they’re going to start talking behind my back about how I’m probably one of those no-shower movie goers. You know, the kinds who never shower and just show up with a hat to see flicks.

It’s not worse than the head lice thing, but it comes pretty damn close.

15 comments on “WFME’s New Year Fear: Movie Theater Headrest Lice

  1. Amy - January 7, 2007 at 10:10 am -

    Okay, Pauly. You’ve really pushed it this time. This is gross. Wouldn’t it be safer to just stand during the movies? You wouldn’t want to potentially get movie seat crabs on your guy parts.

  2. Meg - January 7, 2007 at 1:00 pm -

    Fabulous; now I’m going to itch and twitch all damn day.

  3. Groonk - January 7, 2007 at 2:33 pm -

    ok that’s a fact i could have lived my ENTIRE life without knowing.

  4. Pauly D - January 7, 2007 at 2:41 pm -

    Look guys – I’m here to protect you. And get people on my side.

  5. jimi - January 7, 2007 at 5:05 pm -

    See, the problem i am having in all of this is where you find hats that fit? The rest of the post isn’t anything that the hypochondriacs of the world haven’t already warned us of. Just turns out they were right on this one.

  6. Rachel - January 7, 2007 at 8:01 pm -

    Now that you mention it, there really is that no shower movie-goer. I’ve seen it. I’m not it [I swear].

    Very funny.

  7. sandra - January 7, 2007 at 8:16 pm -

    Oh dear. Now I’m imagining that my head is itchy after having been to a movie earlier tonight. F-ing lice.

  8. Jo - January 7, 2007 at 11:07 pm -

    Pauly…this post is really gross..and to think I always lean my head back so comfortably..and I go to the movies like once a week. Thanks for sharing though, I’ll love more useful info like this, but only if they’re true!

  9. Daniel - January 7, 2007 at 11:29 pm -

    I’m considering making a trip to LA. I have some family there.

    Maybe I’ll drop by and see you… would you like that?

    I’ll let you know when I do.

    good luck with career and your future topic options.

    keep writing and making movies but for YOUR enjoyment- really

    It’s all yours now

    see you soon.

    Take care

    thanks

  10. The Delightful Peter DeWolf - January 8, 2007 at 5:03 am -

    People will just assume that you’ve gotten plugs.

    And is there anything more L.A. than that?

  11. Jerry - January 8, 2007 at 7:39 am -

    Since nothing on the screen is worth the price of admission anymore, this is just one more reason to utilize On Demand options and Netflix from the comfort of my lice free bed and recliners at home.

  12. jacquie - January 8, 2007 at 8:21 pm -

    You think you’re phobic now? Try this one on for size… I hear that when you sit down in a theater seat, you could potentially get stuck with a syringe in your butt, purposely placed there by someone who is purposely trying to give someone, not specifically you, unless you have some real mean enemies out there, but some random Joe (or Paul) a disease.

    Hat schmat!

    Time to shop for some butt armor, my friend.

    And you were worried about your head getting sweaty?

  13. Kathleen - January 8, 2007 at 8:50 pm -

    this was funny.

  14. Kathleen - January 8, 2007 at 8:51 pm -

    even the comments…

  15. sass - January 11, 2007 at 9:56 am -

    three words:

    bathing cap.

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