Today’s Ironic Vanna White Story About No Make-Up and Sushi

Vanna White is old.

You’d never know it from watching the gloriously shiny Wheel of Fortune, because much like Oprah Winfrey, she’s got one hell of a make-up artist caking on the powdery-goodness on a daily basis. In fact, I would potentially even go so far as to say that when I see Vanna White on TV — she’s still looking pretty damn good after all these years. And to top it off, I might even say that Vanna White has made me up my “age quotient” when considering what women are still date-able by society’s standard.

Well, that is — until I saw her without make-up.

A Few Brief Thoughts on Why I Would Never Want To Be a Parachute Packer

There’s bad jobs, and then there’s bad jobs.

Yet when faced with a slew of bad jobs that range from porta-potty cleaner to tollbooth taker to late shift urinal serviceman to bottle-capper — it seems that I have recently unearthed what I believe to be the worst job on the face of the Earth. A job that, when you really get down to it, has zero perks or positive aspects to it whatsoever.

That job? Being a parachute packer.

While you can find positives in some jobs, like the quiet time you have to yourself or the fact that some really boring jobs allow you the time to slowly get your real dreams in order, the job of actually just packing parachutes in preparation of people jumping out of planes has got to be devoid of positives.

Ten Classic TV Shows, Reimagined For Today’s Discerning Audiences

  1. Petticoat Junction: (Reality) Hot chicks. In a water tower. That’s been “reimagined” into a hot tub with endless Ketel One vodka screwdrivers. Each week, one guy enters the hot tub in an attempt to snag the phone number of one of the Petticoat hotties. Each week, one man enters…and if he’s lucky…he leaves with a chick! Oh, and in the opening interviews, the girls wear petticoats. But not in the hot tub. In the hot tub…they wear nothing!

Hear Your Words

How often have you left a comment and lamented over the fact that, as a commenter, others can see your words but not hear them at all?

How often have you thought to yourself, “If only I could speak my mind instead of typing my mind, well — there’d never be any confusion as to my true emotional state of mind.” How often have you wished there was such a thing as the WFME Hotline, to which you could call (instead of type) your thoughts about any of last week’s posts, and give other WFME readers a chance to hear you for the first…time…ever?

Well, now you can rest easy knowing that today WFME is introducing Sunday’s Hear Your Words. That’s right — over the course of each week you’ll be able to call the WFME Hotline at (310) 469-7507 and leave your thoughts about any posts, or general worldwide events and hear the collection of said referenced audio thoughts each and every Sunday.

Yes. Sunday is all about hearing your words.

So get going. Let’s make this Premiere Sunday a day to remember. Click on continuing words to hear some of the voicemails just coming in now!

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I Am Afraid That Everything Around Me Is Bombarding Me With Radioactive Fallout

Forget about Iran for a second.

Why not worry about the kind of things you can find in your own kitchen, like the microwave. Or why not worry about the kind of things you strap to your head, like bluetooth wireless phone ear pieces or cell phones themselves. Or why not worry about the cancerous cells currently being formed inside your body thanks to the invisible faxes being sent wirelessly around you all day long?

Yes. Why not worry about those things instead of Iran.