You are currently browsing the archive for January 2007.
January 31st, 2007
Vanna White is old.
You’d never know it from watching the gloriously shiny Wheel of Fortune, because much like Oprah Winfrey, she’s got one hell of a make-up artist caking on the powdery-goodness on a daily basis. In fact, I would potentially even go so far as to say that when I see Vanna White on TV — she’s still looking pretty damn good after all these years. And to top it off, I might even say that Vanna White has made me up my “age quotient” when considering what women are still date-able by society’s standard.
Well, that is — until I saw her without make-up.
Posted under Celebrities, Vanna White, Wheel of Fortune. | 15 Comments »
January 30th, 2007
There’s bad jobs, and then there’s bad jobs.
Yet when faced with a slew of bad jobs that range from porta-potty cleaner to tollbooth taker to late shift urinal serviceman to bottle-capper — it seems that I have recently unearthed what I believe to be the worst job on the face of the Earth. A job that, when you really get down to it, has zero perks or positive aspects to it whatsoever.
That job? Being a parachute packer.
While you can find positives in some jobs, like the quiet time you have to yourself or the fact that some really boring jobs allow you the time to slowly get your real dreams in order, the job of actually just packing parachutes in preparation of people jumping out of planes has got to be devoid of positives.
Posted under Parachutes, Thoughts. | 6 Comments »
January 29th, 2007
- Petticoat Junction: (Reality) Hot chicks. In a water tower. That’s been “reimagined” into a hot tub with endless Ketel One vodka screwdrivers. Each week, one guy enters the hot tub in an attempt to snag the phone number of one of the Petticoat hotties. Each week, one man enters…and if he’s lucky…he leaves with a chick! Oh, and in the opening interviews, the girls wear petticoats. But not in the hot tub. In the hot tub…they wear nothing!
- Gilligan’s Island: (Drama) Gill Egan wakes up one day on a remote tropical island, only to find out that the island is empty. How he got there, he has no idea. Why he’s there? No idea. Yet one day (in the pilot) he finds a portal that he can’t go through himself, but that (each week) deposits one unhappy person from their lives in the real world to the island. Now it’s up to always-chipper Gill to show each person the meaning of life, and convince them that living with him on the island is far less problematic than what’s going on in their own lives. Think Highway to Heaven except the highway is the island, and Heaven is leaving the island.
- Love, American Style: (Family Comedy) A Japanese exchange student comes to America after becoming obsessed with the culture — yet finds that everything he’s seen on TV is nothing like the real world he crashes head on into. Without money or a job, he takes a job as a fluffer in California’s porn world and falls in love with a composer of porn movie scores. Soon thereafter, he finds out just what it means to fall in love, American style!
- DragNet: (Nighttime Soap) In the vein of Melrose Place and Dynasty comes this nighttime soap that follows the working class Gibson family — known for their amazing seasonal catches of the best shrimp in the world. That’s right — they’re fisherman. And while the men are on the high seas “dragging nets” across Poseidon’s realm, the women are into catfights the likes of which no mere mortal has ever seen.
- The Munsters: (Procedural Drama) It’s C.S.I. meets Night of the Living Dead as a family of horrific looking zombies solve crimes in the netherworld on a weekly basis. Herman Munster is the patriarch of this crime-solving group of malcontents, and he leads them to make the dark corners of the world safe for everyone else. Note: Main credits roll over “You’re the Inspiration” by Chicago.
- The Brady Bunch: (Comedy) A suburban husband and wife have sextuplets, who all happen to have been fused together in the womb. Now, “this bunch” of kids must go through their day to day life coping with the comedy of never being able to leave each other’s sides! The pilot episode concerns a particularly hilarious situation where one of the Brady sextuplets stars in a school play as Shakespeare’s Romeo, while the others pretend to be trees! LOTI!
- Leave It To Beaver: (Animated) Based on the classic comedy film Caddyshack, this animated Saturday morning cartoon is about Buford the Beaver (a friend of the gopher originally in the film version of this comedic yarn) — the new underground nemesis of Bushwood Country Club’s own groundskeeper Cappie Spackler (son to Carl Spackler, the original groundskeeper from the comedic filmic yarn). Each week they try to outdo each other, which usually results in total grass and tree destruction! But it’s animated, so all that cartoon violence is, um, cartoony.
- Father Knows Best: (Reality) In each stressful, heart-breaking episode — a father plans his daughter’s wedding FOR HER. If you saw Bridezillas you’ve seen nothing yet.
- The Monkees: (Fantasy/Sci-Fi) This hour long sci-fi fantasy show follows the flying monkeys made famous in The Wizard of Oz. Each week focuses not on the Wicked Witch, but the private lives of the flying monkeys, their relationships and personal struggles, and the fact that they’re all slaves to the magic leanings of their boss. One part workplace comedy, one part serious dramatic storytelling — the Monkees is bound to beat Heroes into the ground like an old bloody piece of ground chuck.
- The Flying Nun: (Comedy) Think Wings meets Ally McBeal in this workplace comedy about a female private pilot running her own charter business out of a small airport in Seattle, Washington. And she’s quirky, which makes it awesome fun!
Posted under Reimagining, Television. | 9 Comments »
January 28th, 2007
How often have you left a comment and lamented over the fact that, as a commenter, others can see your words but not hear them at all?
How often have you thought to yourself, “If only I could speak my mind instead of typing my mind, well — there’d never be any confusion as to my true emotional state of mind.” How often have you wished there was such a thing as the WFME Hotline, to which you could call (instead of type) your thoughts about any of last week’s posts, and give other WFME readers a chance to hear you for the first…time…ever?
Well, now you can rest easy knowing that today WFME is introducing Sunday’s Hear Your Words. That’s right — over the course of each week you’ll be able to call the WFME Hotline at (310) 469-7507 and leave your thoughts about any posts, or general worldwide events and hear the collection of said referenced audio thoughts each and every Sunday.
Yes. Sunday is all about hearing your words.
So get going. Let’s make this Premiere Sunday a day to remember. Click on continuing words to hear some of the voicemails just coming in now!
Continuing words »
Posted under Audio, WFME's Hear Your Words. | 11 Comments »
January 27th, 2007
Forget about Iran for a second.
Why not worry about the kind of things you can find in your own kitchen, like the microwave. Or why not worry about the kind of things you strap to your head, like bluetooth wireless phone ear pieces or cell phones themselves. Or why not worry about the cancerous cells currently being formed inside your body thanks to the invisible faxes being sent wirelessly around you all day long?
Yes. Why not worry about those things instead of Iran.
Posted under Fears, Iran, Microwaves, Radioactive Fallout. | 8 Comments »
More words »
