A Few Christmas Thoughts From WFME
December 24th, 2006
With tonight being Christmas Eve and tomorrow being Christmas Day, WFME would like to present “A Few Christmas Thoughts” from WFME.
- If I open my mouth just slightly, and let some water from a water bottle slowly pour into the back of my mouth, I can technically drink water without ever swallowing whatsoever.
- If you have an itch and you don’t itch it, that itch’ll get worse before it ever gets better.
- Every liquid on earth can be blended and turned into a thicker version of itself except for one liquid: saliva.
- Is Jesus’ last name Christ? If it is, did he get mail delivered to Mr. Christ? If his last name was Weber (like my 6th grade elementary school teacher) would tonight be denoted as Webermas Eve?
- The most painful thing to get hit in the head with, contrary to popular belief, is a coffee table book. It hurts more than most other household items and I can only imagine it hurts more than a two by four that accidentally fell from a second story window.
- I wish people would stop saying ‘Never Say Never’ everytime I say “Never.”
- “Frosty the Snowman” is a redundant song/TV show title. He’s a snowman, people. He’s already frosty. Why not use the first word to give the snowman a little more description? Aggrivated? Sheepish? Warm on the inside? C’mon, let’s get creative.
- Danger really is someone’s middle name. Someone I know.
I’ll be honest: I’ve tried the water idea before, and my gag reflexes almost always kick in before I actually get very far in “drinking but not swallowing” my water. Plus, it makes my throat feel like I’m drowning.
But it’s your call, I like feeling healthy!
Comment by Max — December 24, 2006 @ 7:09 pm
I swear you changed your post….
I know a “Danger” too. Spartacus Danger Jones is his legal now.
Comment by Max — December 24, 2006 @ 7:14 pm
And some of them even border on seasonal! Happy holidays!
(now my ankle itches and I’m so tempted to see how long I can go without itching it….)
Comment by Jenn — December 24, 2006 @ 7:42 pm
Max - It’s all about being healthy.
Jenn - Nice to see you ’round these parts! Happy Holidays to you too.
Comment by Pauly D — December 24, 2006 @ 8:00 pm
Paul,
Epiphany came ahead of schedule….which means I just saved at least 12 days.
I’ve been an arrogant fool.
I sincerely apologize for spilling it on you.
Itches come and go and along comes another one to scratch,
but I’m satisfied that this itch has been sufficiently excoriated
When I do scratch, it’s not personal, it’s just because I’m the only one who really knows where it itches.
I totally agree with these quite ironic insights and I would add only 2 important things
Please forgive me….or not- if you prefer, and
Merry חנוכהChristmaKwanzithut
thank you
The ghost of Christmas, yet to come.
Comment by Daniel Hendleman — December 24, 2006 @ 10:37 pm
People who say “never say never” are, ironically, hypocrites! And I think ‘Christ’ is a modifier to ‘Jesus’, His last name was ‘Carpenter’ as was the trend back then - occupations as names.
Comment by susan — December 25, 2006 @ 2:05 pm
“Frosty” is descriptive…not redundant. Snowy the Snowman…now that would be redundant!
Comment by Dawn — December 26, 2006 @ 6:32 am
Dawn - I challenge you to find me a snowman that isn’t frosty. If you can do that, I will retract my frosty comment.
Comment by Pauly D — December 26, 2006 @ 7:32 am