Words for My Enjoyment

I Don’t Know About You, But I Could Use A Nice Cold Glass of Water

December 21st, 2006

I don’t know about you, but I could use a nice cold glass of water.

And I’m not talking room temperature either. Seemingly, people always seem to offer up a room temperature glass of water when you ask them for a nice cold glass of water and then when you tell them you didn’t want a room temperatured glass of water but a really nice cold glass of water, they just turn and look at you like you’re crazy and tell you that studies prove that drinking a shockingly cold glass of water can harm your internal organs.

To which I say, still…I could use a nice cold glass of water.

I often think back to the times when there was no refrigeration at all, and the hunter/gatherers of our world had to drink water out of streams and off the backs of sweating buffalo. Back then, no one could ever ask for a nice cold anything of water. No nice cold handfuls of water, no nice cold leafs filled with nice cold water and you’d have to get up pretty early in the day to get down to the stream while the water was still cold from the morning dew to get yourself that nice cold anything of H20.

But they were pretty much living in the dark ages without the nice cold glasses of water.

So then as we live here today, in 2006, and we all have the opportunity to have nice cold glasses of water upon request, then why is there so much trouble and disdain thrown at the nice cold glass ‘o water wanterer? There’s nothing worse than sitting down in a RESTAURANT and getting a luke warm glass of water. There’s nothing more painful then getting a glass of water without ice. There’s nothing more disturbing than asking for something cold and getting it sort of warm.

I don’t care if you think cold water will shrink my kidneys. I don’t care if you worry about the choking hazards of ice chips. I don’t care if you have this issue with perspiring glasses of water staining the wood table you’re about to put said cold glass of water on top of.

I could use a cold glass of water, and I wish you’d oblige.

There’s a lot of people who are very disturbingly indifferent about nice cold glasses of water. And right then when you read that line you thought to yourself, “I highly doubt people are that indifferent about nice cold glasses of water…” but then you also wondered to yourself if you really could live in a world where all glasses of water were lukewarm. Now your gears are turning and you may be slowly coming over to my side. Unlike the others:

Me: “Can I get a nice cold glass of water?”
Them: “How about room temperature tap water?”
Me: “Ick. How about some nice cold water with ice in it?”
Them: “You don’t want that.”
Me: “Sure I do, or else I wouldn’t have asked for it.”
Them: “How about some peanuts?”

How about some peanuts? Indifferent indeed.

All I can say is this, my friends. If someone asks you for a nice cold glass of water, give them a nice cold glass of water. Pour them some from the fridge, or give them tap water and load it up with ice. Hand it to them and let them marvel in the extreme coldness and don’t worry about ice-choking hazards, internal organ shrinkage or why in fact they care that a glass of water is cold in the first place. Just give people what they want and stop questioning it from your own perspective.

Now. Can I have that nice cold glass of water?

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In other news, don’t forget that tomorrow is yet another edition of “Words For Your Enjoyment” — where you submit an idea for a post, we submit it to our parents, and if they think it’s funny we try to write about it. Don’t miss out!

Posted under Not Knowing About You, Water. |