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November 25th, 2006
Picture this.
A group of city cops are faced with a disturbing scenario. A woman’s body has been found in the alley behind their nighttime haunt — a bar where all the cops go to hang after a hard day’s work. Her body, it seems, was tossed from the attic window above the bar, and was dead before it hit the ground. Two of the the most intelligent cops (played by Grey’s Anatomy’s Isaiah Washington and actor Forrest Whittaker) believe that someone frequenting the bar is the murderer.
Little do they know, they’re instincts are correct…and the person at fault is a total idiot.
Posted under Dreams, Forrest Whittaker, Isaiah Washington, Stupid Criminals, Television, Virtual Murder. | 3 Comments »
November 24th, 2006
If you listen to the news or talk to the “tastemakers” you know that today is the biggest shopping day of the entire year.
People were up while you were still sleeping, waiting in lines just so they could get their little hands on $2.99 DVDs, cheap flat panel televisions, and a myriad of other “overstock items” that have been prettied up by the word SALE. But still, if Best Buy can sell all their remainder DVDs by offering up great prices that drive the masses to their locations, then why isolate the fun to consumer related products? Why not include the blogs as well!?
That’s why TODAY ONLY there’s amazing deals here at WFME.
Posted under Blogging, Holidays, Shopping, Words Elsewhere. | 4 Comments »
November 23rd, 2006
Dear All of You,
First of all, I’d like to say that I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today. Having you share today’s festivities with me is a wonderful thing and I hope that you, too, have a day you’ll never forget. I’d also like to hope that you don’t take both dark meat drumsticks off the turkey plate before asking everyone at the table if they, maybe, want a dark meat drumstick as well. I mean, there are only two dark meat drumsticks. Think about that. If you were sitting at a fancy dinner in a fancy four star restaurant and they brought the bread basket and it was filled with tons of different kinds of bread but only two (2) olive bread slices — would you take both olive bread slices without asking the rest of the table if they maybe wanted one too? Probably not. That’s why you’d better ask before you snag the only two dark meat drumsticks for yourself and before you justify in your head that no one’s eating dark meat these days because of the health reports coming out about dark meat versus white meat. Just ask before you take.
Same goes for the marshmallow topping on top of the sweet potatoes. There’s only just so much marshmallow topping and you can’t take a scoop of sweet potato and enjoy it without a helping of marshmallow topping. And if you did what you did last year where you scoop some sweet potato and then scoop up a bunch of marshmallow off the top of other sweet potato areas, people will be left with servings of sweet potato and no marshmallow. So don’t do that either, okay?
Like I said, I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today.
Love, Me.
Posted under Holidays, Open Letter, Thanksgiving. | 9 Comments »
November 22nd, 2006
[Staring into the frozen food/ice cream section at the supermarket. A kid, no more than 7 years old, standing next to me doing the same exact thing.]
Kid: “What are you going to get?”
Me: “Probably some Ben & Jerrys. It’s good, have you had it?”
Kid: “I’m not allowed. It causes heart-attacks.”
Me: “Ice cream doesn’t cause heart-attacks.”
Kid: “Studies show that they so too cause heart attacks.”
Me: “Well, that’s if you eat it all the time like for every meal or something.”
Kid: “It’s healthier if you eat vegetables. Even frozen ones.”
Me: “That’s great.”
[A long pause. I go to open the freezer and pick out some ice cream.]
Kid: “So you’re still going to get the ice cream?”
Me: “Yeah. Don’t worry - I’ll go to the gym after and work it off.”
Kid: “My dad says people have had heart-attacks at the gym.”
[I just smile. Take my ice cream. And leave.]
Posted under Overheard. | 13 Comments »
November 21st, 2006
How many times have you almost eaten a fake, plastic apple?
Well, if you’re me — the answer is “pretty often.” That’s because the technology behind fake plastic apples, fake plastic pears, fake plastic bananas, fake plastic organges and fake plastic pomegrantes have grown in leaps and bounds since the 50’s and have fooled many a hungy kitchen-dweller. And while my teeth don’t particularly enjoy biting into the tough outer shell of a machine-made fruit, they also get pretty impressed by being fooled like that.
But the fake plastic grape? Yeah, not so much.
Posted under Fake Food and Drink, Food and Drink, Plastic Fruit, Redesigns. | 7 Comments »
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