An Open Letter To Everyone At My Thanksgiving Dinner
November 23rd, 2006
Dear All of You,
First of all, I’d like to say that I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today. Having you share today’s festivities with me is a wonderful thing and I hope that you, too, have a day you’ll never forget. I’d also like to hope that you don’t take both dark meat drumsticks off the turkey plate before asking everyone at the table if they, maybe, want a dark meat drumstick as well. I mean, there are only two dark meat drumsticks. Think about that. If you were sitting at a fancy dinner in a fancy four star restaurant and they brought the bread basket and it was filled with tons of different kinds of bread but only two (2) olive bread slices — would you take both olive bread slices without asking the rest of the table if they maybe wanted one too? Probably not. That’s why you’d better ask before you snag the only two dark meat drumsticks for yourself and before you justify in your head that no one’s eating dark meat these days because of the health reports coming out about dark meat versus white meat. Just ask before you take.
Same goes for the marshmallow topping on top of the sweet potatoes. There’s only just so much marshmallow topping and you can’t take a scoop of sweet potato and enjoy it without a helping of marshmallow topping. And if you did what you did last year where you scoop some sweet potato and then scoop up a bunch of marshmallow off the top of other sweet potato areas, people will be left with servings of sweet potato and no marshmallow. So don’t do that either, okay?
Like I said, I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today.
Love, Me.
Sweet potato with marshmallow topping? Crazy Americans.
Comment by Merel — November 23, 2006 @ 9:40 am
I think there should also be a letter in here to my friend who really really needs to appreciate the fact that I am visiting her and managed to cook the entire Thanksgiving dinner and she’s currently sitting talking to her friends and I’ve cooked, cleaned, etc. It is so infuriating and I want to die. But hey, she made a chocolate ice cream roll…because that’s a Thanksgiving staple. Man I’m pissed. Oh yeah, and I’m a guest and I paid for it all too. MOTHER!!!!
Comment by Kate — November 23, 2006 @ 11:26 am
Kate - You tell me where you’re at and I’ll come over and SLAP her.
Comment by Pauly D — November 23, 2006 @ 11:59 am
29 Palms Marine Corps Base. See you in a few!!!
Comment by Kate — November 23, 2006 @ 12:02 pm
Hey Pauly, there is absolutely NO reason you need to go talkin smack about a girl just because she snarked up both drumsticks and ate all the fluffy stuff off the sweet potatoes. I mean REALLY! Put a sign out or sumthin. How was I supposed to know the rules?
Oh and can I go with you to smack Kate’s friend? They may have a left over drumstick just screaming for some marshmellow-ey goodness slathered upon it.
Comment by rantingmama — November 23, 2006 @ 7:09 pm
Happy Thanksgiving!
Comment by Amy — November 23, 2006 @ 7:20 pm
I’m all about dark meat and marshmallows.
Comment by brooke — November 23, 2006 @ 7:39 pm
it’s only a matter of time before they make 3 legged turkeys. they already breed turkeys with oversized breasts!
Comment by c(h)ristine — November 25, 2006 @ 4:57 pm
3 legged turkeys? Well, my uncle once brought home a chicken that he’d bought from a friend at a bar. The ‘chicken’ had four legs and seemed a strange shape for poultry… We didn’t join in his meal.
Comment by Andrea — November 27, 2006 @ 3:19 am