You may think I’m insane but I’m going to go here anyway.
If you’re a fan of the amazing Battlestar Galactica on SciFi Channel, then you know all about the beautiful human-looking cylons on the show. They’re perfect in every single way — and it’s no wonder because that’s how the Cylons made them out to be. Flawless, perfect and possessing no mutant genes whatsoever. And when you watch the show, specifically such actors as Trish Helfer and Lucy Lawless — you’re convinced that the Cylons knew what they were doing. And I was right there with all you fans.
That is, until I discovered that Lucy Lawless’ character, D’Anna Biers, has got a nasty fingernail mutation.
Some of you have had this experience in your past — where you’ve been dating someone and you’re totally 120% attracted to them until you see their fingernails or toenails. Right then and there, upon witnessing a messed up or mutated finger/toenail, the game completely changes. It doesn’t make sense and it doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is any less beautiful… But it wigs you out.
Such a thing happened to me last week when I was watching the BSG episode entitled, “A Measure of Salvation.”
The two hottie female Cylons spent a good portion of the episode torturing Baltar for his indiscretions. But the torture scene (pictured above) was more disturbing for other reasons. In looking at the picture, you’ll see Lucy Lawless operating the machinery that’s giving Baltar the painful torture, while actress Trish Helfer worries about how he’s doing. The scene was filled with tension and I was on the edge of my seat to find out what would happen until the screen changed to a close up of Lucy Lawless’ fingers doing the torturing.
And right then, I had to pause the TiVo. Lucy Lawless and D’Anna Biers finger… The finger of a Cylon, perfect in every single way known to artificial man…was jacked up beyond all belief. I mean look at that finger above and tell me you see it. Tell me I’m not seeing things. Tell me, that if you were creator Ronald Moore, intent on creating a seamless artificial world for entertainment purposes, that you’d do your best to hide Lucy Lawless’ jacked up mutated un-Clyon-esque finger.
I sat there stunned for what seemed like hours (it was only 25 minutes), staring at the un-perfect mutation that one of the Cylons had. I wondered if all the Cylon duplicates of D’Anna Biers had the same disfigured fingernail (thereby dubbed from this day forward, “cylonail”. After coming to terms with the fact that yes, indeed, all the cylons who looked like D’Anna would have the same horrific looking fingernail…
Well, I couldn’t watch her in the same way ever again.
Don’t get me wrong — I still love the show. I just hope to god that they never show her jacked up fingernail again or I’m going to be having a lot of trouble stomaching the perfectness of it all. Once again, WFME breaks open another scandal, that will bring depression unto all BSG fans everywhere. (Well, at least the male ones.)
Hats off to us.