It Seems Cylons Aren’t Perfect (And Neither Is Lucy Lawless’ Fingernail)

You may think I’m insane but I’m going to go here anyway.

If you’re a fan of the amazing Battlestar Galactica on SciFi Channel, then you know all about the beautiful human-looking cylons on the show. They’re perfect in every single way — and it’s no wonder because that’s how the Cylons made them out to be. Flawless, perfect and possessing no mutant genes whatsoever. And when you watch the show, specifically such actors as Trish Helfer and Lucy Lawless — you’re convinced that the Cylons knew what they were doing. And I was right there with all you fans.

That is, until I discovered that Lucy Lawless’ character, D’Anna Biers, has got a nasty fingernail mutation.

Some of you have had this experience in your past — where you’ve been dating someone and you’re totally 120% attracted to them until you see their fingernails or toenails. Right then and there, upon witnessing a messed up or mutated finger/toenail, the game completely changes. It doesn’t make sense and it doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is any less beautiful… But it wigs you out.

Such a thing happened to me last week when I was watching the BSG episode entitled, “A Measure of Salvation.”

The two hottie female Cylons spent a good portion of the episode torturing Baltar for his indiscretions. But the torture scene (pictured above) was more disturbing for other reasons. In looking at the picture, you’ll see Lucy Lawless operating the machinery that’s giving Baltar the painful torture, while actress Trish Helfer worries about how he’s doing. The scene was filled with tension and I was on the edge of my seat to find out what would happen until the screen changed to a close up of Lucy Lawless’ fingers doing the torturing.

And right then, I had to pause the TiVo. Lucy Lawless and D’Anna Biers finger… The finger of a Cylon, perfect in every single way known to artificial man…was jacked up beyond all belief. I mean look at that finger above and tell me you see it. Tell me I’m not seeing things. Tell me, that if you were creator Ronald Moore, intent on creating a seamless artificial world for entertainment purposes, that you’d do your best to hide Lucy Lawless’ jacked up mutated un-Clyon-esque finger.

I sat there stunned for what seemed like hours (it was only 25 minutes), staring at the un-perfect mutation that one of the Cylons had. I wondered if all the Cylon duplicates of D’Anna Biers had the same disfigured fingernail (thereby dubbed from this day forward, “cylonail”. After coming to terms with the fact that yes, indeed, all the cylons who looked like D’Anna would have the same horrific looking fingernail…

Well, I couldn’t watch her in the same way ever again.

Don’t get me wrong — I still love the show. I just hope to god that they never show her jacked up fingernail again or I’m going to be having a lot of trouble stomaching the perfectness of it all. Once again, WFME breaks open another scandal, that will bring depression unto all BSG fans everywhere. (Well, at least the male ones.)

Hats off to us.

17 comments on “It Seems Cylons Aren’t Perfect (And Neither Is Lucy Lawless’ Fingernail)

  1. Dave2 - November 20, 2006 at 6:03 pm -

    My world has just come crashing down around me.

    I am sobbing inconsolably under my coffee table as I type this.

    I was blissfully unawares until this entry, and now my life has been ruined. Thanks a lot Pauly!!

  2. josue - November 20, 2006 at 6:25 pm -

    Shit. Ok I’m taking the site off my feeds. You suck WFME 😉

  3. Pauly D - November 20, 2006 at 7:33 pm -

    Dave – You’ll be okay. Maybe. Aw, hell, it may have scarred you for life like it did me. First Jennifer Garner has a pinky toe that’s growing up and out of her fourth toe and now this. It’s sad, really.

    Josue – I feel your pain.

  4. groonk - November 21, 2006 at 1:36 am -

    I think it has to do with her past life as a Warrior Princess. Chakrams can do damage to a lady’s dainty pointers.

    She still alright with me. As long as she doesn’t try to stick that jacked up finger in my mouth, we’d be sound as a pound.

  5. anon3803 - November 21, 2006 at 1:42 pm -

    Jeez guys get over it. The cylons are born “perfect” but that doesn’t mean they don’t get damaged. A cenutrion could have a battle scar, and still be working/walking around. The same goes for the human cylons.

  6. RickJames - November 21, 2006 at 1:53 pm -

    If you’re this squeemish about this benign picture, then for Gods sake don’t look at Lucy Lawless’s feet in the super-ultra high resolution season 3 promotional photos.

    She’s literally got fungus flowing from there.

  7. Jon Swift - November 23, 2006 at 8:26 pm -

    The interesting thing about the Cylons is that they are really more human than the “humans” in the show which is why they are the show’s heroes.
    http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2006/10/on-battlestar-galactica-heroic-cylons.html

  8. ja - November 27, 2006 at 6:16 pm -

    I saw this as well and can’t help but wonder if that’s really her finger or an intentional prop or what exactly that is?

  9. lucyfan - November 30, 2006 at 7:56 pm -

    saw the fungus pics too. disgusting. the mutant fingernail must be a prop. it was a perfect fingernail in xena.

  10. Brutus - November 30, 2006 at 8:23 pm -

    I understand not necessarily thinking that they shouldshow the fingernail again, given that Cylons are supposed to be physically perfect.

    But you are overreacting, as this is just a television show, and has no affect on anyone’s health, world affairs, or any other matter of importance.

    And you are a total wuss if a bent fingernail gets to your stomach. She could have green hair, and open sores on her tits, I still wouldn’t kick her out of bed.

    If you can’t grow testicles, then for your own sake, please don’t broadcast it.

  11. James Reyes - December 1, 2006 at 7:51 pm -

    Dude…seriously? GET. A. LIFE. If something like this freaks you out, you don’t have enough REAL problems going on in your sad little world.

    Oooooh-Lucy Lawless has human imperfections like the rest of us. Duh. Go figure.

  12. Priestess Charis - December 1, 2006 at 11:38 pm -

    First of all, know where dose it say that they are physically perfect. Look at Brother Cavel.

    Now, as for that finger. I LOVE IT! Her fingers/hands are some of her most incredible features. As a matter of fact, in every thing she dose, they alway shave featured her hands. All the way back to Peace. Did it in Xena, are doing it in Battlestar. To be honest, I have a feeling that most ofher fans, want to see them.omise they do! Charis.xX

  13. Angie - December 2, 2006 at 3:24 pm -

    Thats it?? I was expecting something horrendous and here I come, and I barely noticed it at first glance. And even as I did, it was like whatever. lol

  14. James Bond/ David Kashfi - December 4, 2006 at 2:54 pm -

    This is an interesting blog and I did not notice it at first, but Lucy is so Indescribably Immeasurably Unbelievably Heavenly Sexxxy Perfect 🙂 in every way imaginable and unimaginable, and the most Perfect Beautiful Erotic Gorgeous creature in the history of the universe. God and Lucy are Forever Perfect OH MY GOD YES LUCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 OH GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOREVER LUCY!!!!!!! 🙂

    Now, I did not notice that about Her nail but it could be the result of injury is my guess. Or perhaps it was a “prop” but I see no purpose that that would serve. As for the “fungus” I have looked at that as well and it appears more to be dirt or possibly abrasions. Besides, it would be Perfect Fungus. Lucy is the most Amazing Heavenly Sexxxy Perfect Angelic Goddess, 🙂 and as Holly says Her Perfect Hands and Fingers are one of Her most Amazing Beautiful Heavenly Lovely Cute Adorable Tender Precious Wonderful Sexxxy Features, and Her Perfect Feet and Toes, OH MY GOD YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES LUCY!!!!!! 🙂

    But Lucy despite being Perfect is still human and as subject to wound as the rest of us though She is a very healthy and fit person, and intelligent, and practices yoga. It is said yoga can quicken healing rates.

    If anything I Love and Desire Her even more now as this is Perfect and shows Her Sweet Tender Vulnerabilities. Oh My God Yes I Love and Desire and Worship You So Much Forever Lucy! 🙂

    Hi Holly glad you love it too! 🙂 OH MY GOD YES LUCY!!!!!! 🙂

    I would really Love to WIPE 🙂 for Lucy you know OH MY GOD YES LUCY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOREVER MY DEAREST MOST BELOVED SWEET SWEET SWEETEST HEAVENLY SEXXXY PERFECT BAREFOOT EROTIC ANGELIC LOVE OH GOD I REALLY REALLY LOVE AND DESIRE YOU SO MUCH FOREVER LUCY!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 Oh God Lucy I Love You! 🙂

    Here’s hoping for more explicit Sexxx scenes with D’anna in Her 3 remaining BSG eps. Like a Hard Rough Endless Vigorous Pounding Thrusting Double Anal Scene OH MY GOD YES LUCY!!!!!!!!! 🙂 Oh God to have Lucy! 🙂 I weep and sob Forever because I can never have Her and am so completely unworthy of Her always.

    Forever Devoted 🙂 to the Sweet Sweet Heavenly Sexxxy Perfect Barefoot Angelic Goddess Lucy, 🙂

    David Kashfi/ James Bond Who Loves Lucy 🙂 So Much Forever 🙂

  15. Lucy Lawless Is Hot - December 8, 2006 at 12:00 pm -

    While you are grossing out on her fingernail and toes, I will happily take her off your hands. Don’t even think about her anymore – just let me handle it. Thanks.

  16. J - January 2, 2007 at 8:51 pm -

    Are you for real?? You people need to get a life!

  17. Aurora - January 3, 2007 at 3:43 pm -

    I’m sorry… but being disgusted for something so petty is so stupid. I’m a lucy fan forever! A Xener, a Xenite, a flawless piece of fandom, and an AOX soldier! and I’ll take Lucy with any kind deformity or skin issue or whatever because it’s not her beauty that counts it’s Lucy herself. Get over yourself! LUCY IS THE BOMB NO MATTER WHAT! Nothing will prevent me from watching her and admiring her talents. She is one of a kind, and always will be to me!

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