WFME Has Been Banned

It has been brought to my attention that WFME has been banned from some of your work computers.

This of course, seemed ridiculous to me. I mean, this site has little (if zero) curse words. This site has no naked pictures (yes, you’re lucky there), no political leanings or rants and no off-color or racial jokes to annoy the general public. So it got me to thinking — for what reason would WFME be banned by the corporate I.T. bigwigs?

The following ten reasons were the only ones that I could come up with.

  1. Some companies, including media ones connected to superstar actor Ashton Kutcher, felt that my criticisms of his acting were so unreasonable that they would ban WFME out of spite.
  2. My corporate thoughts on running an intergalactic spaceship offered up cutting-edge management ideas that no company head would want their employees reading about.
  3. Emotion, like male hugging has sexual undertones not safe for the work environment.
  4. Some I.T. guy responsible for banning sites mis-read my post about people who brag after they’ve eaten blowfish, thinking it was about something completely different altogether.
  5. My post about if Kenny Rogers was my uncle brought up red flags because the name Kenny rhymes with Penny, and Rogers rhymes with Dodgers — and that got someone thinking about people who steal, then sell commemorative pennies given out at Dodger’s games, which makes them think about illegal online auctions, which makes them think my site should be banned.
  6. Apparently, a guy bragging about how his arm strength has increased is also, allegorically, unsafe for the work environment.
  7. Anything related to bombs and diffusing them screams terrorism and “hot topic.”
  8. Stealing gum is illegal. Any post making light of stealing gum is bad for employees on the edge of being honest and being dishonest. Delete delete delete.
  9. My post about you having a blackhead and me not telling you about it has strong racial undertones not appropriate for most work environments…not to mention, blackheads are gross.
  10. Anything related to watercooler talk is bad as it will remind workers that there’s a watercooler nearby and that talking near it is something a lot of people do. Bad for productivity, that’s for sure.

If you are an I.T. professional who has banned WFME from your office for any of the above posts, please let me know and I’ll remove it immediately. I’m just that kind of guy. The removal kind. The kind who wants everyone’s work environment to be safe, stress-free and inclusive of WFME.

I think that rhymed.

11 comments on “WFME Has Been Banned

  1. Dave2 - November 18, 2006 at 11:32 am -

    Anybody discovering your site at work is not going to be content reading only the first entry… they’re going to blow the entire day at WFME. As you can imagine, the diversion you have created is a clear and present danger to work productivity everywhere and must be banned.

  2. Amy - November 18, 2006 at 11:35 am -

    You’re not banned at my work, Pauly.

  3. susan - November 18, 2006 at 1:06 pm -

    You’re not banned at my workplace Pauly! To counter this trend, why not throw in a few posts promoting gifts for IT guys or how management is soo under-appreciated. That’ll throw them off the track.

  4. Kevin - November 18, 2006 at 2:07 pm -

    I always knew there was something dirty about this site. Suspicions confirmed.

  5. c(h)ristine - November 18, 2006 at 10:20 pm -

    for serious?! on monday, i’ll go to work and read your blog several times just to counter this very disturbing trend!

  6. Pauly D - November 18, 2006 at 10:25 pm -

    C(h) – Please do. We must work together to combat such a dark and ominous corporate act of treason.

  7. Pierce - November 19, 2006 at 5:16 am -

    It use not be banned at my work, but then one day they banned it.

    So I quit. I quit for you, Pauly.

  8. brooke - November 19, 2006 at 6:41 am -

    I can see where the arm strength title might raise some red flags. If you really think about that one, it’s quite hot.

    Since a lack of naked photos (of you of course) is not causing this, I think it’s time to request some – naked photos of you that is.

    Thank you.

  9. monkeyinabox - November 20, 2006 at 8:30 am -

    I’ve got your naked Pauly D photos right here. I’m just not sure what he’s doing with Britney Spears in the photo though, or is that Paris Hilton? Hmmmmm…

    Pauly can you help with this one?

  10. The Centaur - November 20, 2006 at 2:18 pm -

    Paul, let us know which companies are blocking your site so that I can begin boycotting their products. Unless, of course, Xbox, Budweiser, Toyota, Little Caesar’s, etc are the culprits…

  11. comment4U - November 21, 2006 at 6:49 pm -

    I love the Kenny Rogers segue into horror! lol And yeah, gotta watch the watercooler talk…..don’t want the P-Ones having any fun!!!

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