Homeless Folks Just Want Love, Too
November 2nd, 2006
[Outside my local Rite-Aid, where I've already had a slew of run-ins with the homeless.]
Him: “Spare some change, sir?”
Me: “Sorry, can’t.”
Him: “How about a hug?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Him: “A hug. You know homeless people need love, too.”
Me: “Sorry, can’t.”
[I go into the store, buy my things, head back out -- at which point I'm accosted by my friendly neighborhood homeless guy once again.]
Him: “You shouldn’t be afraid of emotion.”
Me: “Oh yeah?”
Him: “C’mon, just give me a squeeze.”
[Afraid of the homeless man's emotional connection to me, I start making my way to my parked car with him still shouting after me...]
Him: “C’mon!! Just one hug!”
Me: “NO.”
Him: “Just a squeeze!?”
Me: “NO!”
[And I get in my car and drive away -- watching to see if he's asking other people for hugs. Which he's not. Which makes me even more nervous about coming back tomorrow for my prescription drugs.]
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In other news, don’t miss tomorrow’s “Words For Your Enjoyment” — we’ve got a very special WFYE Reader Reunion happening tomorrow. That’s where all the commenters who ever commented on WFME since 2003 will be stopping by to chime in and say hello, tell you what they’ve been doing, show off their trophy wives, husbands & partners and give last year’s WFME Holiday Party a run for its trafficky-money.
I wonder if he’s read your blog.
Comment by Mark K — November 2, 2006 @ 8:40 am
Paul,
The homeless are reasonable people. Just say that the purpose of going to the pharmacy was to acquire medicine to treat your many, many communicable diseases… the kind of diseases commonly spread through hugging. I think he’d understand.
Comment by The Centaur — November 2, 2006 @ 8:54 am
Hugging is a clever, but cliche, way to steal a person’s wallet.
Okay…that was bitchy of me. Maybe he really DID just want a hug. (The inner-bitch in me begs to differ, though.)
Comment by Amy — November 2, 2006 @ 9:56 am
Amy - That’s a good point — I didn’t even think of the hug/pickpocketing scenario.
Comment by Pauly D — November 2, 2006 @ 10:05 am
Hugs are better than drugs! (I’m not sure I believe that) I’m sure he has internet access, just refer him to “Not into hugging men” post, so you don’t offend him.
Comment by susan — November 2, 2006 @ 10:54 am
Amy, general rule of thumb — your first instinct is usually correct regardless of how bitchy it may be.
And Paul, if not a cliched method of picking your pocket, perhaps he would have slipped a tracking device into your pocket because someone high up in government thinks you are a threat to national security. These blog topics are a little too random to be completely random don’t you think?
Comment by jerry — November 2, 2006 @ 11:05 am
Yeah, Pauly D, I notice that I get a lot of hits from the homeless on my blog. It’s a group of influental readers you don’t want to shun. Give up the love already.
I’m sure it’s on Myspace already, “Pauly D wouldn;t hug me!”
Comment by monkeyinabox — November 2, 2006 @ 11:36 am
You have so much more fun than me at Rite Aid. I can see why it’s your drugstore of choice.
Rite Aids around here have drive through pharmacies. Maybe that’s why I’m missing out on all the good times.
Comment by Jacquie — November 2, 2006 @ 11:49 am
I wonder if he’s read your blog.
Actually I have. You are going to be written up as part of my sociology study.
You may not have hugged me, but you were the only one who looked me in the eyes.
Comment by Jack — November 2, 2006 @ 12:00 pm
I’d rather give money. Is that weird?
Comment by sandra — November 2, 2006 @ 3:55 pm
i think (and maybe this is just me) that it was the “squeeze” word making its way into the conversation that is the least appealing.
…somehow, that was the most uncomfortable part of the story for me.
Comment by Sarcomical — November 2, 2006 @ 7:23 pm
A while back this homeless woman asked me for money, and when I told her I was unemployed and completely broke she offered me a beer. True story. You haven’t lived until you’ve been pitied by the homeless, trust me.
Comment by cinekat — November 3, 2006 @ 5:25 am
it sounds mean but…i wouldn’t want to hug someone that was dirty or smelly. it doesn’t matter if they are homeless or not- it’s just not sanitary!
Comment by ms. sizzle — November 3, 2006 @ 8:19 am
The other day, on the side of the freeway, were two hitchhikers trying to get somewhere, I forget where. One held a sign that proclaimed, in giant letters, “We won’t kill you!”
We just love reading homeless people signs. Sounds really callous, doesn’t it? But they DO come up with the funniest things, plus the standard “God bless”.
Comment by Anne — November 3, 2006 @ 8:27 am
Do Ya know what is the worst part about being homeless?
BEING HOMELESS!
Comment by Daniel — November 4, 2006 @ 2:16 pm
That IS creepy but very interesting. I have been asked for alot of things by homeless people, but never a hug.
But why you, Pauly? I think I would ask him that if he asked again.
What a curious situation………….
Comment by cutiepie — November 5, 2006 @ 6:40 am
Anne-
These insidious residentially impaired pacifists will often masquerade as perfectly ordinary hitchhiking psychopaths bearing signs like “We won’t kill you!”
They know that though they may be scorned for breach of social contract, nobody would bother to fault a psychopath for lying
Comment by Daniel — November 5, 2006 @ 9:28 am
It’s just not safe. You might catch “Homeless” and have to convince all of your friends that you are just “Urban Camping.”
Comment by Deonn — November 5, 2006 @ 12:18 pm
You heartless bastard.
Comment by Kevin — November 7, 2006 @ 4:41 am
You could look at this rationally - on the one hand, the homeless person may need affection. On the other hand, you run the risk of tuberculosis infection and other diseases characteristic of the homeless, having your pocket picked, or the unpleasant experience of having been up close and personal with someone who has just defecated nearby, without the luxury of bathroom tissue or soap. It’s your choice.
Comment by Philip Lundquist — November 12, 2006 @ 3:42 am