My New Billion Dollar Idea

My lawyers say it’s not the smartest idea to put my new billion dollar idea on my blog.

But just like billionaire Mark Cuban (who incidentally puts numerous billion dollar ideas on his blog in the hopes someone wants to run with it), I too have the same mentality. I don’t have the time to execute every single billion dollar idea I have (which is fully illustrated by me not running with my ideas for edible toothpicks or candy fruity-fries) and that’s why today I’m going to throw up yet another money making marvel to the readers of WFME.

Are you ready for it?

If Multiple Personality Disorder Is A Superpower Then Los Angeles Is Filled With Heroes

Have you seen NBC’s breakout hit Heroes?

Besides the typical superheroes you’ll meet each week (the flying guy, the invincible chick, the seeing-into-the-future Nostradamus strung-out artist dude, the non-English speaking bender of space & time buddy and the I can read your mind police officer) you’ll also meet the one played by actress Ali Larter — a hot blonde named Niki Sanders whose superpower is… (wait for it)… muliple personality disorder.

Which only makes me immediately think of all the people living in the heart of tinsel town who have not-so-amazing superpowers of their own.

Amanda Foreman Wants To Be Called Mandy Instead

I know you love Amanda Foreman like I do.

From her role as Meghan Rotundi (Felicity’s goth roommate) on Felicity to her numerous roles on Alias, Six Feet Under and What About Brian? — you’ve embraced her as a spectator with your open arms (like I have) and welcomed her into your home on a weekly basis. You might have even caught yourself saying something like, “Boy, I sure do like the look of that Amanda Foreman actress” or “Without Amanda Foreman my life would simply be a shell of what it is with Amanda Foreman in my life…”

At least, you might have, until you found out that Amanda Foreman wants to be called “Mandy” instead.

WFME’s Nobody Is Listening, Part Threux

“Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order?”
“Yeah, I’ll have two cheeseburgers, a diet coke and an apple pie.”

“That’s a cheeseburger, a coke and a fish pie?”
“What’s a fish pie?”

“I’m sorry, sir — I meant a Filet o’ Fish. Would you like anything else?”
“Um, how about NOT a fish pie.”

“One second, sir — let me delete that.”
“Thanks.”

“So, that’s a cheeseburger and a coke.”
“No. That’s incorrect. I wanted TWO cheeseburgers, a diet coke and an APPLE pie.”

“Two cheeseburgers, diet coke and a small fry.”
“Almost — I don’t want fries.”

“No fries? Okay.”
“But I want an APPLE PIE.”

“An apple pie?”
“Yes. Exactly.”

“So that’s two cheeseburgers and an apple pie.”
“You forgot the diet coke.”

“SIR, there’s no need to be rude. I didn’t forget the diet coke, I just already said it a million times that I wasn’t going to waste my time saying it again.”
“Oh.”

“Please pull around to the first window.”

Adult Diapers For The Rest Of Us

Have you ever just “let it go?

You’re laying in bed and too lazy to get up or sitting in a long meeting at work and can’t really leave the room or in the middle of a movie and not wanting to miss any part whatsoever or hiking up a mountain when the urge hits you? And when all of these things happen you have to bide your time, hope for the best, and eventually find your way to a bathroom facility of some kind? I know what you’re thinking: it’s a complete and total waste of time…

…and wouldn’t be an issue if wearing adult diapers all the time was acceptable.