WFME’s Nobody Is Listening, Part Threux

“Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order?”
“Yeah, I’ll have two cheeseburgers, a diet coke and an apple pie.”

“That’s a cheeseburger, a coke and a fish pie?”
“What’s a fish pie?”

“I’m sorry, sir — I meant a Filet o’ Fish. Would you like anything else?”
“Um, how about NOT a fish pie.”

“One second, sir — let me delete that.”

“So, that’s a cheeseburger and a coke.”
“No. That’s incorrect. I wanted TWO cheeseburgers, a diet coke and an APPLE pie.”

“Two cheeseburgers, diet coke and a small fry.”
“Almost — I don’t want fries.”

“No fries? Okay.”
“But I want an APPLE PIE.”

“An apple pie?”
“Yes. Exactly.”

“So that’s two cheeseburgers and an apple pie.”
“You forgot the diet coke.”

“SIR, there’s no need to be rude. I didn’t forget the diet coke, I just already said it a million times that I wasn’t going to waste my time saying it again.”

“Please pull around to the first window.”

15 comments on “WFME’s Nobody Is Listening, Part Threux

  1. The Centaur - October 23, 2006 at 9:19 am -

    mmmm… fish pie. Extra mayo on that.

    I gotta make a run to McD’s…

  2. monkeyinabox - October 23, 2006 at 10:37 am -

    Most people don’t know you can CUSTOMIZE your McDonalds experience. So, yes, ask for the Fish Pie. Tell them you saw it on WFME. That’s enough street cred enough to get you the free Super Size upgrade as well.

  3. Jody - October 23, 2006 at 11:04 am -

    How could you eat at McD’s? Drive-thru no less? He was already confused with the diet coke since that part of the order didn’t make sense with the CHEESEBURGERS AND (FRIED) APPLE PIE. Reminds me of ordering Tab Floats (yes they still make Tab!)

  4. Pauly D - October 23, 2006 at 11:12 am -

    Monkey – The thing is, I’m so used to ordering things NOT on the menu (In n’ Out’s Monster Style Burger or Coffee Bean’s Sunrise) that it wouldn’t surprise me if you COULD order a fish pie.

    Jody – Good point.

  5. susan - October 23, 2006 at 11:29 am -

    I’m kinda scared to eat the food after an infuriating exchange like that, especially at the drive-threux when you cannot see the guy the whole time. Then again, I’m always kinda scared to eat at McD.

  6. Michelle - October 23, 2006 at 12:58 pm -

    Hey, at least the drive-thru employee spoke English. Near my home all the McD employees only speak spanish or have such thick accents you can’t understand what they are saying when they are standing in front of you, let alone when filtered through those fabulous speakers. I have just taught my children to regard ordering at McDonald’s an “adventure”. You never know what you will get!

  7. Daniel - October 23, 2006 at 4:54 pm -

    I’m so old that when I was a kid, McDonald’s still found it mathematical possible and still bothered to keep a running tally of hamburgers sold, posted on all their signage.

    Must have been somewhere in the tawdry millions.

    I remember long before Colonel Saunders ever dreamed or dared to be “funky” when nobody as yet had so much as heard of falafel or Thai….

    And Sushi? Treasonable, unthinkable

    Back then, Mexican and Chinese were considered “ethnic” food.

    Now, I think of all these foods as practically American as anything else except for maybe American cheese.

    American Cheese?

    Who is responsible for that national policy fiasco anyway?

    I mean of all the unpatriotic and disposable cheeses to represent the virtuous idealism, the terrible power (and its management), the purple robe of majesty and spectacle of glory that this great nation might have been ……

    On second thought…… seems appropriate

  8. jadepark - October 23, 2006 at 5:32 pm -

    reminds me of the time i went to taco bell and ordered a “10 pack of tacos” and when i got home i opened a bag full of “ten choco tacos.”

  9. Pauly D - October 23, 2006 at 5:51 pm -

    Jade – Yes, but everyone knows you LOVE choco tacos.

  10. jadepark - October 23, 2006 at 5:52 pm -

    Apparently they caught onto my secret passion for choco tacos!

    (“No, she doesn’t really want a 10 pack of tacos–she wants CHOCO TACOS!)

  11. Dave2 - October 23, 2006 at 6:12 pm -

    I rarely go through the drive-thru anymore. Try ordering a Chalupa at Taco Bell and explain that you want rice instead of beef… the horror.

  12. Gina - October 23, 2006 at 6:28 pm -

    Since I have left the US to live in Brazil, I have completely abandoned fast food. While food here is generally SO much better than food in the US (fresher, less processed) I’m not going to lie when there are times when I daydream about a McDonald’s hamburger. A Quarter Pounder with cheese. My god, it would be a personal heaven. Yo, the lack of fast food has done wonders for the waistline, but my god….please…just…one…bite…please…por favor.

  13. Daniel - October 23, 2006 at 7:32 pm -

    “Abandon hope all ye who eat here”

    Taco Bell?

    That’s so waaaaay declasse

    Oh… how the mighty have fallen

  14. cutiepie - October 24, 2006 at 3:56 am -


  15. Jacquie - October 24, 2006 at 5:37 am -

    note to Paul: don’t ever eat at McDonalds

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