Five Transcribed Notes As Left By The Jaded Tooth Fairy

September 30th, 2006

Dear Jimmy,
What, have you never heard of flossing?
Love, The Tooth Fairy

Dear Hannah,
I got your adorable note about how your
molar should be worth $29 because of
something called ‘inflation’. I’d like to
make you aware of something called
‘racketeering’ instead. Here’s $2.
Love, The Tooth Fairy

Dear Bobby,
I’ve never quite heard of a single
molar having gingivitis on it’s own,
so thanks for introducing me to that.
Love, Me

Dear Heather,
Who decorated this room? I mean,
really.
Love, The Big T

Dear Mr. Aames,
Veneers don’t count. Thanks for
wasting my valuable time, bastard.
Love, T.F.

Posted under Fives, Tooth Fairy. |

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    8 Comments »

    1. Gravatar

      Wow… you may call that being “jaded” but I’d have to say the Tooth Fairy has become a bit of a bitch! Good thing I don’t have any teeth left to give, because I’d probably slap her if she tried to reach under my pillow with that attitude!

      Comment by Dave2 — September 30, 2006 @ 9:57 am

    2. Gravatar

      things don’t go well at the dentist?

      Comment by better safe than sorry — September 30, 2006 @ 10:59 am

    3. Gravatar

      Dave - The Tooth Fairy has always been a bitch.

      BSTS - I’m procrastinating going, if you must know.

      Comment by Pauly D — September 30, 2006 @ 2:12 pm

    4. Gravatar

      my 6 year old recently learned that the tooth fairy doesn’t visit if you leave your tooth in the apple it came out in, at school. She really isn’t as sweet as I remembered her being.

      Comment by jacquie — September 30, 2006 @ 6:20 pm

    5. Gravatar

      My sister stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy when she kept getting notes that said “IOU.”

      Comment by Rabbit — October 1, 2006 @ 1:31 pm

    6. Gravatar

      Dear PaulyD,
      Teeth that fall out due to neglect get bupkus! Stop dilly-dallying and get yourself to the dentist!
      All my best you little weasel,
      T. F.

      Comment by susan — October 1, 2006 @ 4:28 pm

    7. Gravatar

      The tooth hurts

      Comment by Daniel — October 1, 2006 @ 4:33 pm

    8. Gravatar

      Having lost all my baby teeth in Sweden in the late ’70s and early ’80s, I know for sure that the Tooth Fairy has something against my motherland. I had to “sell” my teeth to my dad.

      Comment by the swede — October 1, 2006 @ 5:11 pm

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