I Am Afraid My Face Isn’t Symmetrical
September 28th, 2006
Symmetry is the new hot.
Look around in the fashion mags or listen to the hosts of nighttime news magazines laud the hotness factor of stars with symmetrical faces. Marvel in wonder as people say things like, “her face is totally symmetrical and she will never have to work for a thing in life because of it…” Stare deer-like and stunnishly at people whose left side of their face and bone structure exactly match the right side of their face in a perfect bit of genetic architecture.
And then be afraid, like me, that your face isn’t symmetrical at all.
If you’ve ever read biology textbooks or collegiate psychology papers that deal with human nature, social-groups and plain ‘ol cliques — well, you’ve probably read about how people subconsciously can’t deal with the lack of symmetry in their worlds. Look at a person whose left side of their face is a little deformed and suddenly your thoughts turn to the “ugly scale.” That person is ugly, you might think to yourself without really wondering why you have categorized them as such.
In reality, it’s because their face isn’t symmetrical.
If your left eye is an inch higher than your right eye, watch out. If you have a huge mole with a hair sticking out of it on one cheek but not on the other, beware. If one nostril is bigger than the other, get ready to sniff the bigotry coming. Because while you may think others can’t consciously tell that your face is off by a few glaring centimeters — the internal thoughts are subconsciously aligning them against you and your error-filled face.
Which motivated me to measure my face last night.
Now, I’m not going to get into the fact that I have a self made-up psychological disease called measuremitis (or, the obsession with measuring parts of ones’ body to determine their normalcy in a society hell bent on conformity). I’m not going to even provide links to previous posts on WFME that deal with the diameter of my skull or the size of my hands. I’d rather just sit here in the soup I’ve cooked today and tell you that there’s something a little bit off about my current symmetry situation.
First and foremost, I have a freckle-ish discoloration on my left cheek. Some can’t see it from afar, but I know it’s there. And the fact that I don’t have it on my right cheek already puts one negative mark against me in the symmetry column. On top of the freckle situation (which some may guffaw at for it being so small), I also took the time to measure my nostrils. The inner diameter of my left nostril is about 2 millimeters smaller than the right nostril. Again, could you notice it just by talking to me? Consciously, probably not.
But your subconscious? It’s probably already aligning yourself against me.
An area on the left side of my chin has a very small bald spot where the hair doesn’t grow out of. On the right side of my chin there’s a few errant silver hairs that aren’t on the right. I can’t be quite sure but I think my left eye is a little bit higher than my right eye and I’m not positive but when I look backwards into a mirror it seems like my right ear lobe is attached closer to my head than my left.
Now, I’m in a world of non-symmetry everytime I glance in the mirror.
Does this mean it’s the end of the world? No. Does this mean I may not get a certain job I apply for because subconsciously people are wondering what’s wrong with my nostrils? Perhaps. Does the fact that when I accidentally whistle out my nose (when I’m stuffed up) there’s a C-sharp coming out of one nostril and a D-flat coming out of the other mean that even blind people will be able to tell that my nostrils aren’t symmetrical? Probably.
Does it mean I can’t live a healthy, happy and productive life?
People will never say it to your face, my friends. They won’t tell you that everything is about to fall apart because your left cheek bone is higher than your right cheek bone. They’ll just site the only example they have in their arsenal (that Cindy Crawford has a mole and she’s been successful) and hope that it will stop you from asking them how they feel about your non-symmetrical face. They’ll hope that you’ll just leave well enough alone and not worry about the fact that people everywhere know what’s wrong with your face and they’re subconsciously writing you off because of it.
At least, that’s what I’m afraid of…with my non-symmetrical face.
don’t buy into the anti-symmetric hype. It’s not really germane
2 cm is an acceptable deviation. All but the Rabidly anti-symmetric would care, and the rest would Nazi it
C+/ D-
that’s not so atonal
Just wait as it daily slackens into a tri-tone
Comment by Daniel — September 28, 2006 @ 9:10 am
I met some symmetrical twins once. As in they were kind of identical, but not quite. Now that was cool. I want a symmetrical twin.
Comment by Melissa — September 28, 2006 @ 9:13 am
Daniel - If only I could play a lyrical song with my nose to distract the symmetrical bigots of the world. If only…
Comment by Pauly D — September 28, 2006 @ 9:17 am
My ophthalmologist recently told me that my right pupil is bigger than the left one. What am I supposed to do with that information? No plastic surgeon is going to take my case! Can you get pupil enlarging contact lenses?
And my left ear is about an inch higher than my right, which makes my glasses all crooked. I’M HIDEOUS!!
Comment by jenny — September 28, 2006 @ 10:04 am
Actually, blind people may not notice the difference since C# and Db are actually the same note - or is that what Daniel was getting at?
Comment by Jeff — September 28, 2006 @ 10:07 am
Jeff - There’s a slight tonal difference. And blind people’s senses (especially hearing) are way more atuned to such differences than you and me. Haven’t you heard about all those blind people with those cell phone ringers that no one can hear except for them?
Comment by Pauly D — September 28, 2006 @ 10:18 am
what if they, you know… “they”… could somehow surgically attach a mirror to the not so better half of your face ( I couldn’t honestly say “the bad side” because let’s face it, both sides of Pauly D’s face are dashing!) but just for arguments sake, let’s just say they could do this. Would you do it? Sure, you’d look like a freak, but you couldn’t complain about your face being non-symmetrical…. wait, yes, that would be a problem, because then one side of your face would be 2 dimensional, while the other was 3D… and I still haven’t come up with a solution to the whistling nostril dilemna…
Grrrr, back to the drawing boards!
Comment by jacquie — September 28, 2006 @ 10:43 am
I’m wonderful assymetrical. Please don’t take that from me. It took me years to convince myself that I was beautiful just like my parents and my first-grade teacher kept telling me. I don’t know if I could go on knowing I wasn’t “hot.”
Comment by kapgar — September 28, 2006 @ 12:39 pm
Oh holy cow, I am putting a huge brown bag over my head
Comment by rach — September 28, 2006 @ 2:19 pm
Paul, I’ve seen you many times, so I can attest that your face is actually quite symmetrical.
Your ass, however, looks like a Picaso spray-painted by a crackhead in front of a funhouse mirror.
Comment by Karla — September 28, 2006 @ 2:58 pm
Karla - I love you too, honey.
Comment by Pauly D — September 28, 2006 @ 3:24 pm
I’m only symmetrical from the waist down. I wonder what that will get me?
Comment by purpletwinkie — September 28, 2006 @ 3:30 pm
i, for one, am grateful that the top half of my face is not symmetrical with the bottom half.
Comment by dgm — September 28, 2006 @ 6:27 pm
Can…….can … Kn I love Karla too?
Pahhhhhuuuaaleeeeese?
Comment by Daniel — September 29, 2006 @ 5:09 am
One word: Photoshop!
Don’t believe the hype!
Comment by GiGi — September 29, 2006 @ 5:46 am
DGM… I will respond to your comment since Paul didn’t. That was a really funny comment. Thanks for visiting.
(Paul, who needs Star Jones Reynolds when you have me?)
Comment by jacquie — September 30, 2006 @ 6:37 pm
Hey Paul, just found yr blog. I am having the same ‘problem’ with u…is it called a problem? well, it has been bothering me before. my face is not symmetrical at all, big difference. but now i found my true love, and he just loves me for whoever i am…so i just be proud for what i have. i am surprised when he said i am pretty…hmmm…so dude, be happy! ;p
jee-kuala lumpur,malaysia.
Comment by Jee — February 13, 2007 @ 6:54 pm
I noticed that my face has a curve to the right and that my right eye is a bit smaller but you have no idea what insecurity is if a freckle is your biggest problem. I have a two inch hole in my chest called Pectus Excavatum. Try going through your day with that, you wear tight undershirts so your shirt lays a bit flatter, people generally don’t notice but I am constantly aware of it and constantly adjust so it is less obvious. Or the fact that when i does get brought up it is really awkward when the person says “Thats weird” without even realizing it. So don’t you complain about your minuscule little problems. There was a guy that i went to school with that had his face bashed in so the right side curved in instead of out and he can barely be understood because the doctor accidentally cut one of his vocal cords. So grow up and accept yourself child.
Comment by James — September 10, 2007 @ 1:06 am
Just read your article and looked at the picture, very carefully… your face is fine it is by no means how you make it out to be. Beautiful. I believe there will never be a hinderence in your profressional life nor will people sub-consciouscly write you off in their minds.. If I showed you my face, it would make your face to be the cover of vogue magazine as it has REAL symmetry problems. my nose is crooked, eyebrows uneven and growing the wrong way on one, the entire left side of my face is larger including the earlobe and neck so it looks higher. EVEN my hairline is higher on the left side.
meeting people is very difficult when not in a dark place because they see it don’t say it but i see in their eyes and tone in voice they cringe and hide and run away. oh yeah and my smile is eneven too left lip is thicker and higher… it’s pretty bad i’m not exhaggerating it at all my mom has pointed it out to me and even family members feel weird around me sometimes i feel it. but.. can’t really do much about it it’s how i was born so gotta keep living.
i really don’t see any problem with your face though, it’s pretty beautiful as i see it..
Comment by Nib — January 26, 2008 @ 11:54 am