An Early Scene From My Untitled, Not Really Thought Out, New Screenplay
September 27th, 2006
[Fade In]
Some guy walks into some kind of a public place wearing typical clothes for whatever time of year it is and approaches another character:
Guy: “Hi there.”
Other Character: “Oh my god, it’s you!”
[Insert ominous music here.]
Guy: “Yeah, it’s me. What do you mean by that?”
Other Character: “Well, you did that thing over at that place and everyone was amazed at what you did when you were over there doing your thing.”
[A third character walks into the place where they’re all at.]
Third Character: “What’s going on here?”
Other Character: “This guy over here is THAT GUY I was telling you about over at that place the other day.”
Third Character: “Are we safe?”
Other Character: “Well, that’s anyone’s guess.”
Guy: “Yeah, we might not be safe because of that thing that may happen any minute now.”
[A car of some kind crashes into a pole outside this place everyone’s at, and all three of our characters rush out of this non-descript place to witness the accident and see if the driver is okay. The driver is some kind of woman character and she stumbles out of the vehicle and onto the ground, gasping!]
Some Kind of Woman Character: [Gasping]
Third Character: “Are you okay?”
Some Kind of Woman Character: “We’ve got to hide, and quick!”
Guy: “They’re on their way here, aren’t they?”
Other Character: “They followed her!?”
Some Kind of Woman Character: “It’s true. They’re coming. Right now.”
Guy: “This is not good. Not good at all!”
[End Scene]
I heard NBC has been looking for something to go up against LOST. This is it, Pauly, I can feel it but do you think you can get 22 weeks out of not explaining anything?
Comment by jerry — September 27, 2006 @ 7:43 am
Jerry - I’m pretty confident I can get THREE SEASONS out of not explaining anything whatsoever.
Comment by Pauly D — September 27, 2006 @ 7:46 am
I can totally see it!
And you could do a scene in a video store, where the customer walks in and asks about “that movie” with “that guy” in it, and the clerk working there would totally play along.
Brilliant!
Comment by Hilary — September 27, 2006 @ 8:58 am
I see lots of potential here. I find myself really relating to “Third Character.” And I would tune in weekly to see if anything ever materialized between him and “Some Kind of Woman Character.”
Comment by The Centaur — September 27, 2006 @ 9:20 am
Intrigued. Just work in mysterious people wearing suits and you’ve got me sold.
Comment by James Cooper — September 27, 2006 @ 9:42 am
Centaur - You don’t know how happy that makes me to know that “Some Kind of Woman Character” really spoke to you. When I was writing her character, I was really hoping she’d speak to a society as a whole and make people care about what happens to her when, um, when stuff happens to her.
James - Ooh, great idea! Suits! I’ll try to revise this scene later today and include suits and maybe some socks of some kind.
Comment by Pauly D — September 27, 2006 @ 9:43 am
Dude, you can’t leave us hanging like that.
If the car crash would have been just HUGE, I’d have thought this was a Dean Devlin script.
Comment by Peter — September 27, 2006 @ 9:52 am
My semi-un-thought-out reaction to your screenplay: Wow, I really enjoyed the part where that thing happened and was moved to something by the guy and all that stuff, sort of. Could you please flesh out that part with the thing? Maybe add in a talking car…
Comment by susan — September 27, 2006 @ 11:12 am
Paul, I’ve re-read this a couple times now… Is the “Third Character” based on me? You’ve got to admit, there are a lot of similarities…
Comment by The Centaur — September 27, 2006 @ 12:02 pm
Centaur - It’s true. I modeled him after you and your constant habit of asking questions and seeing if people are okay. If you look, The Third Character’s only lines are: “What’s going on here?”, “Are we safe?” and “Are you okay?”
The Third Character is very much about being there for others and evaluating the situations around him at any given time.
I hope this realization won’t sour you on the amazing film this screenplay will someday become…once I figure out what genre it’s supposed to be.
Comment by Pauly D — September 27, 2006 @ 12:05 pm
Possibly once upon a context, there could have been a group of…..
Characters: protagonist, antagonists agonists, onanist etc. et. al and peg Bundy…
and they did THINGS…as protagonist, antagonists agonists and onanist will.
Then suddenly…. by an ironic and chimerical twist of lemon slices, a dark homosexual stranger with the jettesoned head of John the headless former Baptist in a Bowling bag - but not a Paid up member of the Union -plummets into the vortex of ambiguity?
Or not.
what if that happened?
Idinit Kool ?
Comment by Daniel — September 27, 2006 @ 12:44 pm
You’ve got a good thing going here, Pauly. Too bad Seinfeld’s off the air.
Comment by kapgar — September 27, 2006 @ 2:19 pm
Love it: It’s broad enough that everyone can identify! Parents, kids, asians, cowboys, teens, males 15-35… We’ll make billions!
Comment by some kind of studio executive — September 27, 2006 @ 3:11 pm
This is an optimum arrangements.
You get the benefit from the exercise of actualy writing these vigniette kind of senario montage whathaveyous
But when the audience is walking out of the theatre, rubbing their eyes, readjusting to the day light, grumbling
about waiting impatiently for the other shoe to drop, that’s where I come in and really yank the cord hard.
It’s perfect.
What do we have up for tomorrow?
I owe you much gratuitousness
Comment by Daniel — September 27, 2006 @ 3:11 pm
very vague, should do well. who are you casting?
Comment by better safe than sorry — September 27, 2006 @ 3:20 pm
Next entry: how to pitch this screenplay?
And a suggested addition: something about the woman’s best body part being gratuitiously shown. Folks dig that sort of thing.
Comment by sandra — September 27, 2006 @ 3:26 pm
Sandra - I like that guy you see on all those cell phone commercials for “Guy” and that quirky looking girl actress for the “Some Kind of Woman Character” role. The jury is still out on the other roles.
Comment by Pauly D — September 27, 2006 @ 3:29 pm
The car blows up in the next scene, doesn’t it?
Comment by E/O — September 27, 2006 @ 4:16 pm
Oh, and don’t fade in. Open with a smash cut. Every script should have at least twenty smash cuts.
Comment by E/O — September 27, 2006 @ 4:17 pm
Casting suggestions:
Guy - Ed Norton
Other Character - John Cusack
3. Character - Heath Ledger
SKW Character - Kate Beckinsale or, well, anyone really
Comment by cinekat — September 28, 2006 @ 7:55 am