This Entire Blog Is A Joke
August 30th, 2006
Today marks WFME’s 3-Year Anniversary.
That’s right. On August 27th, 2003 — yours truly posted his first post ever and the rest was history. And while the site has morphed from its early days of personal stories and anecdotes about my own life into a daily repository for randomness and humor — what most people will find surprising is that the origins of Words For My Enjoyment stemmed out of a situation so surprising, it would cause you to stand up and exclaim something like, “Wow, that’s a situation I find awfully surprising.”
Yes, before long you’ll realize that WFME is just a joke.
It was early August of 2003 when blogging was just starting to take hold of the left and the right coast of America. The middle of the country was still unsure if a “blog” was a wooden stake or an incoherent mumbling of someone with Tourette’s syndrome. Nonetheless, I found myself having drinks with a particularly tech-savvy friend who was fully versed on the “next big thing” in online publishing.
Yes, it was blogging.
After fully grasping the concept of an online portal through which I could communicate with dozens (nay, hundreds) of readers on a bi-minutely basis, my so-called friend turned the conversation towards something that would forever change my life. And it would go a little something like this:
Friend: “So, I’ll bet you that you can’t blog almost every single day for the next three years.”
Me: “Why would I bet you something like that? That’s an insane amount of work.”
Friend: “Because if you can do it… If you can fake your way through blogging for that long, I’ll give you some kind of monetary reward. But it has to be a total joke that you keep to yourself. Everything you do on the blog, everything you say… every single post — all for the bet.”
Me: “For how much money?”
Friend: “Twenty bucks.”
Me: “Cash?”
Friend: “Of course.”
Back in 2003, before all these wars and disasters and what not — twenty bucks in cash was a pretty sweet deal. And so, I accepted the challenge and set out to blog. Nonstop. For three years. Barring a few days over those first few months, I was able to post every single day for the last three years without fail.
But it was all a joke.
Every post. Every comment. Every single word. All a joke. All for cash. All for a silly little bet. All with the final prize set in my sights — twenty dollars in cash.
Now that the bet is over and I’ve already received my cash prize (I got it yesterday and spent it immediately on half a meal at my local Mexican dive restaurant), I wanted to let all the WFME readers know that from here on forward, this blog will no longer be a joke. No longer will the posts and the comments and the words be written to fulfill a thirty-six month long bet. No longer will my motivation be cold hard cash. From here on out, I’ll be blogging to blog.
Unless someone bets me $40 bucks I can’t make it to six years.
Know that the only reason I’m revealing this today, mere hours after my three year anniversary, is that I wanted to come clean and let everyone know that the blog you’ve been reading for the last three years wasn’t really being written by the real me. It was being written by a guy trying to win some money by putting together a faux-blog. Now that the bet has been fulfilled, I’ll continue forward with the kind of posts I really have wanted to write all these years.
In an attempt to give you some insight into what WFME is about to become, please peruse some of these post titles, which I have been holding back on posting until the bet was over:
A Family History of Surgical Mishaps
Nature, With Respect To Endangered Species
A Detailed Look At Black Holes
Crown Molding In 25 Easy Steps
Lactose Intolerance
An Essay On Why I Hate My Life
A List of My Recent Tax Deductions
Jealousy & Rage, A Poem
A Love Letter To Nick Drake
Childhood Lost: Innocence in the 90’s
A Reprint of My College Thesis on Feminist Cinema of the 60’s
…and much much more!
I hope this virtual format change (not unlike a radio station going from Top 40 to Country) will be acceptable to the readers of WFME. But “pretending” to write a blog just for a bet has honestly gone on too far. It’s time to get back to who I really am and let the dam loose, so to speak.
Thanks for everyone’s surprising support over the last three years, and I hope you’ll stick around for what’s bound to be a rollicking good time here at WFME. Don’t forget to swing by tomorrow as I will be spending some time discussing just how painful surgery can be when you wake up in the middle of it thanks to a really horrible anesthesiologist.
Until then…
Many happy returns of the day, Pauly! Re: the twenty bucks — I’d say “Don’t spend it all in one place,” but it appears I’m a little too late. For the record, I’m most looking forward to “Jealousy & Rage, A Poem.”
Comment by annabel lee — August 30, 2006 @ 8:35 am
Jeez, I wuz robbed!%#*#&
Comment by Rhea — August 30, 2006 @ 8:59 am
I feel like a fool now. I thought you were doing it for us…for your readers. But no, I was taken. Sigh.
Comment by Hilary — August 30, 2006 @ 9:03 am
I’m speechless!
Comment by jacquie — August 30, 2006 @ 9:12 am
yah right. me? speechless? good one jax!
it was fun being part of your little charade.
will you posting pictures of your fingernail clippings too?
good times. good times.
Comment by jacquie — August 30, 2006 @ 9:14 am
And with me having so many questions about crown molding!?!?!?!
You dirty, dirty bastard.
Comment by Peter — August 30, 2006 @ 9:34 am
Hey Pauly - congratulations on your anniversary!
I’ll take that bet for 3 more years - if only to save us all from a post on Lactose Intolerance.
Comment by Jeff — August 30, 2006 @ 9:36 am
Well, this is a startling confession of epic proportions! I think I need some time to process all the madness.
How could you, Pauly? How could you lie to us?
Comment by Rabbit — August 30, 2006 @ 9:56 am
i don’t know…i’m not so sure i can trust you with my heart again, pauly.
it will have to be a slow, gentle process to get what we had back.
Comment by Sarcomical — August 30, 2006 @ 11:09 am
I feel so dirty… so used… so… so… something or other.
You lying, cheating bastard!
Does this mean we’ll find our signed copies of your book as nothing more than a pile of dust upon our return home? Was that part of the joke, too?!?! Well?? Was it, funny guy??
Comment by kapgar — August 30, 2006 @ 11:51 am
Sarcomical - Just know that I didn’t mean to hurt you.
Kapgar - God I hope not. If my book has turned to dust, please send it to me in a self-addressed stamped envelope and I’ll do my best to replace it with some churros.
Comment by Pauly D — August 30, 2006 @ 12:16 pm
Pauvre petits readers of this blog. We’ve all been had.
I’ve lost a little faith in humanity.
I’m crying on the inside. Though, since you can’t actually see me, I might be crying on the outside….or maybe even smiling with one eyebrow raised as if to say “Ah, Paul, you are surely part evil.”
Comment by cdub — August 30, 2006 @ 12:34 pm
Well played Davidson, well played. Now just to bide my time before commenting in the Lactose Intolerance topic…
kapgar: If the book turned to dust would that make its cover a “dust jacket”? bwahahaha *runs away*
Comment by James Cooper — August 30, 2006 @ 12:41 pm
Why is everyone surprised and hurt? I say: Whew! What a relief to find out Paul is not really the tree-hating, washcloth eschewing, celebrity-friend-wannabe sicko he was pretending to be all along.
Comment by susan — August 30, 2006 @ 12:56 pm
I’m so proud of you.
Comment by Kathleen — August 30, 2006 @ 3:07 pm
congrats!!!
i look forward to that crown molding blog. 25 steps. sweet.
Comment by better safe than sorry — August 30, 2006 @ 3:31 pm
HA! I bet someone $25 it was a joke, so I’m the real winner Pauly!
Comment by monkeyinabox — August 30, 2006 @ 4:00 pm
Well this just explains everything. What writer in their right mind would give away their work for FREE when they could turn it into a book and sell it?? Ha ha ha ha you’re funny.
Comment by Dave2 — August 30, 2006 @ 6:29 pm
Dave - Which reminds me… I will be taking down the last three years of content and releasing the best of it in a new book next year called “The Best Of 3 Years of WFME” for $12.99.
Each book will come with, yes, a churro wrapped in plastic.
Comment by Pauly D — August 30, 2006 @ 6:31 pm
So when will “Jealousy & Rage: A Poem” be published?
Comment by Jill — August 30, 2006 @ 6:40 pm
So, there really is no Eddie the Echidna?!
Comment by Amy — August 30, 2006 @ 6:41 pm
Congrats on winning that bet, Pauly. I’m sure that we all would have done the same thing.
Comment by Will — August 30, 2006 @ 7:00 pm
I bet you can’t write a post (minimum 250 words per post) everyday for a week without using the letter “v” I’ll bet you $20. You have a paypal account, right?
Comment by C(h)ristine — August 30, 2006 @ 9:39 pm
Yeah, I have been playing this exact same trick, except with my life.
My life if a joke, is what I’m trying to say here.
Comment by Pierce — August 31, 2006 @ 12:59 am
Wow, our blog anniversaries are the same! I knew it’d pay off to wait until August 27th to post my first post.
Comment by Karl — August 31, 2006 @ 7:04 am
Yikes! Has it been three years already? As long as you’re considering change, we could swap styles now, PaulyD. I could turn my prose all humorous and fizzy and you could write essays about, well, you would not believe how many hits I get on “cuckhold husbands.”
I know! We could call your style “proze” and the long-term effect it has sorta like “proze-ack!”
PS: Congrats on enduring unscathed and victorious!
Comment by RW — September 1, 2006 @ 9:58 pm