A Brief Excerpt From My New Play, ‘Green Tea Is Good For You’
August 22nd, 2006
[Curtain opens.]
[MAN and WOMAN stand over a stove. She boils water while he stares intently.]
Man: “What are you doing?”
Woman: “Oh, just boiling water.”
Man: “Boiling water for what?”
Woman: “I’m making tea.”
Man: “Tea? Really. What kind of tea?”
Woman: “Green tea.”
Man: “Oh wow, green tea.”
Woman: “Yeah, they say it’s good for you.”
Man: “Who is ‘they’?”
Woman: “Doctors. Chinese herbalists. My trainer.”
Man: “Good for you…how?”
Woman: “Speeds up your metabolism. Good for a healthy heart.”
Man: “Green tea.”
Woman: “Yeah. It can also cure bad cases of acne and arthritis.”
Man: “Wow.”
Woman: “And lower your cholesterol.”
Man: “Green tea?”
Woman: “Yeah. And it’s great for your reflexes.”
Man: “Hmm.”
Woman: “Oh, and if you’ve ever had migraines or isolated seizures, green tea helps with that too.”
[MAN picks up the box of tea, examines the contents.]
Man: “Green tea?”
Woman: “Yes. Green tea.”
[MAN grabs WOMAN, kisses her passionately.]
[Curtain close.]
I didn’t feel the drama in that one. Sorry, but I’m being honest.
Comment by monkeyinabox — August 22, 2006 @ 1:22 pm
Monkey - The drama doesn’t come from what is SAID. The drama comes from what ISN’T said — which ironically is the fact that MAN just cheated on WOMAN with MISTRESS and that no matter how ridiculous he finds WOMAN’S obsession with green tea, he’s still going to kiss her passionately so she won’t suspect his INFIDELITY.
At least, that’s the “between the lines” drama.
Comment by Pauly D — August 22, 2006 @ 1:23 pm
I was moved. Deeply, deeply moved. Bravo.
Comment by Rae Rae — August 22, 2006 @ 1:25 pm
I guess Green Tea also rectifies Erectile Disfunction.
Nice.
Love a happy ending.
Comment by purpletwinkie — August 22, 2006 @ 2:17 pm
Pomegranate juice is very healthy. When the woman recommended that - did it rate a passionate kiss or more….?
Comment by susan — August 22, 2006 @ 3:19 pm
standing ovation whilst I wipe a tear from my eye.
Comment by Jacquie — August 22, 2006 @ 5:10 pm
Hmmmm what happens with the mistress if he actually drinks the tea? Now that’s what I want to know.
Comment by thoughtsgalore — August 22, 2006 @ 5:35 pm
TG - If MAN drinks the tea, MISTRESS will end up smelling it on his breath (because you can’t get rid of green tea breath) and she will know he’s straying. Chaos ensues.
Comment by Pauly D — August 22, 2006 @ 5:44 pm
Yeah, I’ll pay to see that show. I’d really like to start a Playbill collection.
Comment by Will — August 22, 2006 @ 7:12 pm
The ensuing of the chaos is always the best part! However, a nice passionate kiss is always a better move than sipping the green tea.
(You’re aversion to coffee is the same as my aversion to green tea, no matter how metabolism boosting it might be!..lol..just an fyi)
Comment by thoughtsgalore — August 22, 2006 @ 8:25 pm
wow. what a passionate surprise ending.
way to grab us at the end.
Comment by Sarcomical — August 22, 2006 @ 9:31 pm
man, why is it always MAN who cheats on WOMAN? i mean, i cheat ALL the time on my men (i actually don’t, but i think about it all the time…)
why isn’t she making him all this damn tea because she’s mired in guilt?
Comment by sass — August 23, 2006 @ 6:47 am
Green tea show’s a lack of guilt, but no lack of hot-goodness. Or is that badness?
Comment by monkeyinabox — August 23, 2006 @ 8:14 am
I was riveted by the play, but the background info kinda spoiled it. Leave something to the imagination, please…
Comment by Merel — August 23, 2006 @ 8:30 am
Well, I’m mostly convinced but I’ve heard some good things about black tea too.
Comment by James Cooper — August 23, 2006 @ 10:27 am
I think you’ve lost your mind, Paul.
Comment by cutiepie — August 25, 2006 @ 2:24 am