It Sort Of Sucks That Because Of This Post My Other Post About The Action Figure Based On Me Has Scrolled Off The Main Page

August 7th, 2006

It sort of sucks that, because of this post, my other post about The Action Figure Based On Me has now scrolled off the main page of this blog.

This is due to the fact that the preferences set for my blog will only allow five posts on the front page. No more or no less. And unfortunately, this means that when you have a blog post you’re really a fan of and that you want everyone to read because you feel like it really speaks to the greater-good of society and people in general…well you’re totally out of luck because the blog preferences set for the front page only allow five posts. No more than five. And no less than five, as previously explained about one sentence ago.

And you know what? That sort of sucks.

When I first sat down and was faced with the preferences page for my blog, I must have lamented over this one decision for a long time. Was five posts on the front page a decent amount of posts? I thought to myself, and did a little math one night over a nice cup of Earl Gray tea. I figured, if I were to write a brand new post everyday (which I have done since August 2003) — well, on Friday when I posted my Friday post, the front page would contain Monday through Friday’s posts. That’s right - one week on the front page.

It was, honestly, a genius decision at the time.

Then one day I, myself, yours truly threw a monkey wrench into my massive blogging machine. I posted an extra post on one of the days in the middle of the week. This caused the entire enterprise to get all mucked up. Because on Friday, as I posted the Friday post, now the Monday post was totally gone because the front page only allowed five posts. So there was Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s, both of Thursday’s and Friday’s. And unfortunately for me, my beloved Monday post was gone from the front page. And let’s be honest, no one reads past the front page.

So I went back to my preference page and looked at the front page options.

I started thinking to myself that quite possibly, making it seven (7) could solve the problem. What if I had Monday through Sunday’s posts all on the front page. Then, when people showed up on Saturday after a week of no internet connection at work (since they shut it off after people abused the Wi-Fi), they could still see Monday through Friday’s posts on Saturday. But then do you know what thought hit me?

They would also see last Sunday’s post as well.

This proved to be a huge problem because no one wants to read a post from Sunday when they’re living on a Saturday. This is because if you’re living life on a Saturday and suddenly you think of the day Sunday your entire weekend is ruined because the last thing you want to think about on Saturday is the following day which symbolizes the end of the weekend. I could already see people being turned away from the blog on Saturdays because I would be subconsciously shortening their weekends from a mental perspective. So I went back to the five (5) day front page option.

And that sort of sucks (now) because my other post about the action figure version of me has now scrolled of the main page as I post today’s new post here on Monday.

There’s really never a way to win in the battle against front page content unless you list absolutely every piece of front page content on the front page. Then again, if you listed every single piece of content on the front page it would crash people’s browsers and then people would be annoyed that your blog crashed their browsers. Less content and people miss out. More content and people get pissed. Extending your content and people’s weekends are ruined. There’s no winning.

And that (sort of) sucks.

That being said, I’d like to officially announce that I am sticking with the five posts on the front page thing.

Which still, sort of sucks.

But what can any mere mortal really do about such a thing as this except grin, bear it, internalize it, write about it, lament about it, create a haiku about it (“This line has five words, just like the front of my blog… Yeah, it sort of sucks.”) and then lament about it some more.

Which, even now, here on the last line — sort of sucks.

In other news, I’d love your help in getting these Simpsons action figures off my hands. Seriously — if you know someone who would want something like this, send them towards this auction. If you direct someone to the auction and they win it — your reward will be a post about you tenatively called: So-And-So Referred So-And-So To My Simpsons Auction And That’s Why I’m Writing This Post About Them Referring So-And-So To My Auction.

Posted under Blogging, Things That Sort of Suck. |

11 Comments »

  1. Gravatar

    it is truly impressive that you can do an entire post on the subject (i’m not even sure what the subject was about), but it is an impressive display of mastery of language.

    I’m instructing all my minions, constituents and clones to begin bidding on the simpson thingy, right now.

  2. Gravatar

    TS - Thank you, on all counts.

  3. Gravatar

    pauly, pauly, pauly. add a “favorite posts” segment to your sidebar. it works.

    at least that’s what i’ve heard. i haven’t implemented said rumor, but i’m perpetuating it.

  4. Gravatar

    I believe you’re experiencing Post Out-of-Order Stress Syndrome. There are many therapists out there who are trained to help you with this.

  5. Gravatar

    your angst is impressive.

  6. Gravatar

    Who wouldn’t want to have an action figure of themselves? So I can see your point completely. Why not change the Pauly-head-tipped-to-one-side-knowing-smile picture to the Action-figure-Pauly picture? Or is it the writing part of that post that you wish to keep on display?

  7. Gravatar

    Only a couple more days of that funny toe fungus dude?? That’s crap.

  8. Gravatar

    There are ten posts on the front page of my blog, because I thought it was a nice round number to have. But by writing about your action figure post, especially in the first paragraph, you’ve effectively doubled the lifespan of said post.

    Now that’s cool.

  9. Gravatar

    Calico Jack - That’s what I’m sayin’, man!

  10. Gravatar

    Here’s my haiku:

    Five posts is enough
    Tis the number of fingers
    On each hand, silly

    And my sister’s ex boyfriend collections Simpsons stuff, but we don’t talk to him anymore. Sorry.

  11. Gravatar

    Maybe you could just keep posting your favorite post…over and over…

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