Today WFME Will Be Banning Car Ashtrays

There’s nothing like a good “ban” to get the day rolling.

And while WFME had planned to use this space initially to ban harmonicas since they are the lamest, laziest musical instruments on the face of the earth (breath in, breath out, play music? please), there was a far better subject worth discussing, then banning. A far better useless item that was worth a good ol’ digital sit in.

That’s right. It’s your dwarf-like car ashtray that needs a slap in its plastic face.

Nostradamus Girl Costs Me Cash

We all know who Nostradamus is.

Famous for all his prophecies that have come true, the big N (as I like to call him) has stunned the world for decades, nay centuries, with his perfect predictions of world events, developments and disasters. And just when you think all his prophecies have come true (or not), another one pops up to stun you again.

But this story isn’t about Nostradamus. It’s about a five year old girl who lives in New Orleans who I have surreptitiously named Nostradamus Girl and who (let’s be honest)…cost me some hard earned cash.

Taxidermy Is The New Accounting

Stuffing animals and crunching numbers isn’t so different.

Because while you have to hunt down animals, you also have to hunt down numbers. While you might enjoy animals, you often don’t enjoy being overwhelmed by many of them…much like accountants enjoy numbers but don’t like being overwhelmed by them. Animals come in different shapes and sizes. Much like numbers. And when you get paid for doing something to animals (stuffing them) that others pretty much don’t understand, it comes deathly close to the art of accounting.

What did I tell you? Taxidermy is the new accounting.

I Sound Just Like Chris Martin

If you’re a fan of the band Coldplay, please read on.

This past weekend I made a startling discovery while listening to the latest Coldplay CD in my car. As I slowly played the song “Fix You” over and over and over again, the words became almost second nature for me. And as time flew by, the lyrics were burned into my brain like that medallion was burned into that guy’s hand in Raiders of the Lost Ark. And then I started singing freely. Performing. Exuding. And I realized one very stunning thing.

I sound just like their lead singer Chris Martin.

And Then There Were 25

I feel as though I am one of twenty-five people left on Earth.

One of twenty-five people who is responsible for re-populating the planet. One of twenty-five people starring in Oceans 25 (coming 2025). One of twenty-five people picked to live on a blog with twenty-four other strangers to find out what happens…

Aw, hell. Just click through to 25peeps.com and lift me up and keep me on this page so that I can feed my family. Our goal here is to get me to the top. Can we do it?