You may or may not have heard about this yet.
But the Cliff Notes’ version is that Mel Gibson was arrested for driving almost double the speed limit over the weekend in Malibu, CA while intoxicated — and while being carted away for his DWI, he decided it would be the perfect time to try and escape, start hurling anti-semetic comments at officers and even say sexually-explicit comments to female officers at the police station. Above all, not the smartest thing for a Hollywood actor skating on the thin-ice of the star-system.
But there’s more to the story that even the papers have yet to report (which was leaked to me late last night from a close friend who lives in Malibu) which has convinced me that the massive Mel Gibson cover-up continues…
While the local police department is already embroiled in a scandal regarding the fact that their initial arrest report did not include the Gibson tirades (in an attempt to help him safe face), there were other things Gibson expressed his thoughts on that also did not make it into the reports. The local police are smart in this way — they’ve given the news reporters the “big morsel” of the anti-semetic comments in the hopes that people won’t dig any deeper to find out about all the other things Gibson said.
But like I said… I have connections.
Apparently, when Gibson was being arrested (after trying to escape) but before he was cuffed and placed into the back of the police cruiser, Gibson went off on a tirade about bagel dogs, saying: “If I want a [expletive here] bagel, I’ll buy a [expletive here] bagel. If I want a [expletive here] hot dog, I’ll go buy me a [expletive here] hot dog. But when in my [expletive here] lifetime have I ever wanted to wrap a [expletive here] hot dog in a [expletive here] bagel!?”
At this point, the Malibu police subdued Gibson, getting him into the back of the police cruiser and having the officer drive the Hollywood star to the local station. It was then (as it has been reported) that Gibson began to shout expletives, begin his anti-semetic tirade and threaten death to the police officer. But after he calmed down a little and before they reached the station house, Gibson got extremely angry once again.
According to anonymous sources, it was then that Gibson began screaming angrily about Jamba Juice (a famous Southern California juice smoothie store) and how, “those [expletive here] juice drinks are never completely blended!” He went on to hyperventilate and then exclaim, “Do you think I want a [expletive here] chunk of pineapple or peach at the bottom of my [expletive here] juice cup that won’t even [expletive here] fit through the straw!? No [expletive here] way. So now I have to [expletive here] open the top of the drink and stab at the [expletive here] piece of fruit just to get it small enough to suck up through that [expletive here] straw… I’m going to [expletive here] kill someone first!!”
The officer, who was noticeably nervous about his precious yet inebriated cargo, tried to simply ignore Gibson’s rants and concentrate on getting him fingerprinted and registered upon reaching the station.
Yet, although reporters and news outlets are claiming that Gibson made sexually-risque comments to a female officer while being arrested at the Malibu police station, it seems that Gibson also made startling comments about other things as well. Apparently, while Gibson was being fingerprinted he lashed out the officer doing the deed and began to complain (with expletives) about TiVo. He said (and this is loosely quoted): “Why the [expletive here] can’t I just completely jump over the [expletive here] commercials!? I mean, what [expletive here] idiots created that [expletive here] TiVo!? No [expletive here] commercials, okay!? Not to mention, when I [expletive here] try to forward through a show and I hit that [expletive here] fast forward button… I can never control that [expletive here] button. I always [expletive here] overshoot where those [expletive here] commercials end and the [expletive here] show begins!!”
Needless to say, the fact that we just haven’t heard about these additional tirades of Gibson’s just proves that a cover-up continues in the quaint, rich little city of Malibu, California.
Here at WFME, we hope that bringing these latest details into the public consciousness helps bring justice to an already flawed Hollywood-influenced legal system.