Words for My Enjoyment

Nostradamus Girl Costs Me Cash

July 26th, 2006

We all know who Nostradamus is.

Famous for all his prophecies that have come true, the big N (as I like to call him) has stunned the world for decades, nay centuries, with his perfect predictions of world events, developments and disasters. And just when you think all his prophecies have come true (or not), another one pops up to stun you again.

But this story isn’t about Nostradamus. It’s about a five year old girl who lives in New Orleans who I have surreptitiously named Nostradamus Girl and who (let’s be honest)…cost me some hard earned cash.

In order for me to fully explain this story I have to dig deep into the history of my life (a month ago) and tell you the story of my good friend who had a sister who had a friend who lived in New Orleans. The friend in New Orleans told a story to her friend (the sister of my good friend) who then told the story to my good friend, who called me up to tell me the same story over the phone. It was, to say the least, not the kind of story you tell someone over the phone and if you know me…it was not the kind of story to tell me, period.

Him: “So my sister heard this story about this little girl who lives in New Orleans and she predicted the exact date for Katrina. She totally fortold the event happening.”
Me: “Holy crap. Really?”
Him: “Yeah, and she’s predicted a bunch of other things that have all come true, too.”
Me: “That’s creepy.”
Him: “That’s not the creepiest part of it, though.”
Me: “Oh no?”
Him: “Nope. She’s predicted that there will be a catastrophic event of some kind on July 25th in Los Angeles.”

I think I was silent for about 30 seconds.

Me: “And you’re calling me to tell me this for what reason!?”
Him: “Well, the same day that my sister told me this story I picked up the Los Angeles Times and there was this huge article about how the San Andreas Fault is like 100 years overdue for a huge earthquake. The kind of 10 point plus earthquake that will level most of Los Angeles.”
Me: “Uh huh…”
Him: “So probably, this little girl is predicting a huge earthquake on July 25th in Los Angeles.”

We sat for it for a split second, until:

Him: “Oops, got another call. Talk later?”

And then he hung up. And then my master internal game of telephone began.

You know the game telephone? Where you whisper something into someone’s ear and then they whisper it to the person next to them and so on and so on? And by the time the story gets to the other side of the circle of people the phrase is so different from what you initially whispered that it just illustrates how stories change over time?

Yeah. That.

As I told the story to anyone who would listen, I subconsciously changed the story. Nostradamus Girl, as I had so lovingly dubbed her, had come out of the womb with special talents. She had come out of the womb without crying at all — she was calm, observant. She was already getting “those visions” that would make her less of a true child and more of a true visionary. Over the years she opted to sit in her backyard looking at the sky instead of looking at a TV screen.

And then at age 4, she predicted Hurricane Katrina.

But Nostradamus Girl wasn’t taken seriously until that event occured. And then, from that point forward people started to take notice. There were the small predicitons she had made which had come true… The accident on the local freeway. The milk going bad. The lost dog being found again. But oh no, lest you think Nostradamus Girl was a carnie, she would prove the world wrong again on July 25th, when her prediciton of a catastrophic event would swirl around the Los Angeles area.

Friends to whom I told the story were intrigued. They spoke of the LA Times articles about the next earthquake coming. The Katrina connection was eerie. Her name, Nostradamus Girl seemed as if it was almost real. So real, that I found myself on the phone with my home insurance company researching earthquake insurance.

And then? Yes, then. That was right about when Nostradamus Girl cost me cash. Cash, in the form of a fully executed earthquake insurance policy. Well, you know what happened next.

Absolutely nothing.

July 25th came and went without a murmur or a shake or a shiver of the earth beneath my feet. Nostradamus Girl had made a prediction that did not come true. Yeah, sure — Hurricane Katrina. That lost dog. But the huge event in Los Angeles? Nowhere to be seen. I called up my friend who started all of this immediately.

Me: “No earthquake.”
Him: “Well, she never actually said earthquake. She said hurricane.”
Me: “She predicted a hurricane? Or an earthquake? This is important here.”
Him: “She’s five years old. She doesn’t know that many words. Hurricane was a word that she happened to just say a lot.”

Yeah, thanks.

Here’s my problem with Nostradamus Girl. I don’t care if you’re five or you’re fifty. If you successfully predict a huge natural disaster and then go on to continue to make predictions, they’d better come true. I mean, it’s not like she was just some random five year old kid in some random town. She was Nostradamus Girl. The patron saint of prediction. The last line of defense between the human race and the vicious environment.

She also cost me cash.

I predict Nostradamus Girl ends up working at McDonald’s.

Posted under Earthquake, Katrina, Nostradamus, Nostradamus Girl, Overheard, Predictions, Prophecy. |