A Brief Excerpt of Dialogue From The Climax Sequence In A Film I’m Currently Writing, Tentatively Called ‘I Think My Finger Is Stuck In This Coke Bottle’
July 11th, 2006
Man #1: “Hey, what are you hiding there behind your back?”
Man #2: “Oh, nothing.”
Man #1: “Really? Then show me your left hand.”
Man #2: “Why?”
Man #1: “Well, if you’ve got nothing to hide… Just show me.”
Man #2: “Why do you care so much about my left hand?”
Man #1: “We’ve never had secrets before. Why start now?”
Man #2: “Did you see that accident on the freeway today?”
Man #1: “Oh c’mon. Now you’re just changing the subject.”
Man #2: “Changing the subject? From what?”
Man #1: “From your hand. That’s behind your back. C’mon. Show me.”
Man #2: “If I show you my left hand…”
Man #1: “Yes..?”
Man #2: “…and I show it to you-”
Man #1: “Uh huh…?”
Man #2: “And then you see it…”
Man #1: “Right…”
Man #2: “It will be such a letdown that you’ll wish I never showed you.”
Man #1: “No, I doubt that.”
Man #2: “Trust me on this. It wouldn’t live up to your expectations.”
Man #1: “Just. Show. Me.”
Man #2: “Are you sure?’
Man #1: “Totally sure.”
Man #2: “Okay, but if I show you…”
Man #1: “Yeah?”
Man #2: “I don’t know that I’m ready yet to show you.”
Man #1: “Sometimes as humans we’re never ready.”
Man #2: “Never ready for what? You say that like you know why I’m hiding my left hand behind my back.”
Man #1: “I do.”
Man #2: “You do? All this time, you knew?”
Man #1: “Yes. Now show me.”
Man #2: “You totally almost had me there. I thought you really did know, but that was just a whole well-orchestrated ruse just to get me to show you my left hand, which I’ve got here behind my back.”
Man #1: “Can’t blame a guy for trying, can you?”
Man #2: “Naw, not really.”
Man #1: “So does that mean you’re going to show me now?”
Man #2: “Maybe…”
that conversation so wouldn’t be happening like that if it were between two women.
Comment by ms. sizzle — July 11, 2006 @ 8:30 am
Sizz - What would the women be saying? Because I have a sequence I have to write later where two women go through the same damn thing!
Comment by Pauly D — July 11, 2006 @ 8:31 am
This has got to be the best post about nothing I’ve read today. Pure genius!
Comment by Jeff — July 11, 2006 @ 9:40 am
perhaps later on in the screenplay you can reveal that Man #2 actually inserted his finger in the bottle to stop the release of a deadly virus contained in the bottle. Right now Man # 2 looks like a fool. This will be a nice way to invoke to audience’s sympathies. Man #2 will be a Don Quixete character.
Comment by jerry — July 11, 2006 @ 9:53 am
I so see a fight coming on. Major struggle. Glass breakage. The works.
Comment by Hilary — July 11, 2006 @ 10:06 am
Tell me that Man #1 and Man #2 are played by Ricky Gervais and Christopher Guest and I’ll buy my tickets off of Fandango right now.
Comment by Karl — July 11, 2006 @ 11:44 am
Karl - We’re currently out to Larry David (as the guy with his finger stuck in the Coke bottle) and Tim Daly (from NBC’s Wings). Would that be ok?
Comment by Pauly D — July 11, 2006 @ 11:52 am
This is the climax sequence? Are you leaving me to imagine all the scintillating, action/emotion-packed scenes previous to this? Oooooh, I can hardly wait. Too bad things take forever to get into production in Hollywood.
Comment by susan — July 11, 2006 @ 1:26 pm
More Velociraptors!
Comment by Pierce — July 11, 2006 @ 2:22 pm
Does it have to be a Coke bottle?
Comment by Studio Exec — July 11, 2006 @ 3:25 pm
Wow. I paid for my whole seat, but I’m only using the edge!
Man #1 is going to regret the day he got involved in this whole Coke bottle situation. Some things man was never meant to see.
Comment by Matt Worzala — July 12, 2006 @ 7:41 am