A Brief Historical Timeline of My Parachute Pants
June 26th, 2006
August 10, 1989: In preparation of going to college, I go shopping at the local mall. While there, standing in a Pacific Sunwear store, I notice a particularly hot pair of peach/grey parachute pants in one size (XL). I buy them immediately without trying them on.
September 27, 1989: The first all-dorm Friday night party. I put on my parachute pants with vigor, wearing them to a room on the third floor where Jello shots are being made. A girl named Mary compliments my parachute pants and even says, “Wow, those are cool.”
October 8th, 1989: Dorm residents and friends decide to sun themselves on the roof of the facility on a particularly lazy Sunday afternoon. I wear my parachute pants up to the roof, but take off my shirt. The guy from 203D makes fun of them and so I take them off and just wear the shorts I had on underneath, instead.
October 8th, 1989: At about 10:35pm PST (before going to bed) I realize I left my parachute pants up on the roof. I go up there to find them but they are gone.
October 9th, 1989: I check the dormitory’s lost and found for my parachute pants but there is only a container of Bull Frog sunscreen and a comb. I consult with my Resident Advisor and he tells me to hang in there.
October 15th, 1989: More sunning, the following Sunday. I sun without thinking about my parachute pants.
June 25th, 2006: I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat after having a dream about my parachute pants and wondering just what happened to them.
How high was the roof? I mean, is it possible somebody put the pants on and jumped off the roof, using the pants for their (apparently) intended purpose?
Comment by Mark K — June 26, 2006 @ 8:38 am
Mark - I’ll say this, without being too complimenting about the parachute pants I picked out: if someone else had taken them, they would have wanted to wear them and show them off. Had that happened, I would have surely heard about them. This is because no one had peach/grey parachute pants like I did.
Comment by Pauly D — June 26, 2006 @ 8:42 am
I bet Mary has them. Yep- STILL has them.
Did something happen to you recently that triggered this dream?
Comment by Mark K — June 26, 2006 @ 8:46 am
Mark - No. Honestly, I think I had a break or something. Something traumatic must have triggered the buried memory I had of my parachute pants. But it’s weird because I haven’t really had anything traumatic happen to me lately except I’ve been drinking a lot of Diet Coke. So, I don’t know. But you can imagine my surprise last night when I woke up and realized that I had forgotten about my parachute pants all these years.
It’s less disturbing that I HAD parachute pants, and more disturbing that I just wiped out the memory that I once HAD parachute pants.
I don’t know how I feel about this new development in my life just yet.
Comment by Pauly D — June 26, 2006 @ 8:49 am
Sorry about the parachute pants, Paul. But in the grand scheme of things, at least the pants thief kept you from actually wearing the pants in public anymore. (with your Members Only jacket, skinny tie and Wayfarers) Oh come on you know you had ‘em!
On the other hand, try living down three years of Farrah Fawcett wings and white painters pants. Like I really needed sixteen pockets AND a hammer loop on my legs…
Comment by Monica Ricci — June 26, 2006 @ 9:54 am
i think i know what happened to them. a big guy at my gym has been wearing them for years, but no one has the guts to mock him for wearing them. i mean, not to his face.
Comment by dgm — June 26, 2006 @ 10:29 am
It’s a shame that such a one-of-a-kind item like that pair of pants could be lost. I suspect that that guy on the roof was only making fun of them out of jealousy. Maybe, after you left the roof, he destroyed the pants so that NO ONE could have them.
Comment by Will — June 26, 2006 @ 10:47 am
DUDE!!
I HAD THE SAME DREAM!!
Well, except the parachute pants was my Members Only jacket, and I don’t take it off when I am sunbathing.
Comment by Dave2 — June 26, 2006 @ 11:23 am
Wow, blast from the past. I too was starting college in 1989, walked past a Chess King in the mall, instead opted for the black and white checkered sport coat instead of the parachute pants.
Comment by H.F. Peterman — June 26, 2006 @ 12:58 pm
I can’t believe I’m older than you are. I also can’t believe you ever owned a pair of parachute pants!
Comment by Alison — June 26, 2006 @ 2:44 pm
I never had parachute pants. I was born too late. Besides, if I DID have some, I’d have probably tried to jump off the house or something with them on. I almost did that with all sorts of other things, like sheets and garbage bags. I’m sure parachute pants would’ve worked better.
I had to google parachute pants to even find out what they were.
Comment by Anne — June 26, 2006 @ 2:57 pm
Shorts underneath parachute pants? This I did not know.
Comment by Hilary — June 26, 2006 @ 3:14 pm
OMG…Parachute pants, Freshman Year….Pacific Sunwear.. Bullfrog..you just painted a picture of my first year at U of A in Tucson. lol. Are you sure we didn’t meet in the elevator once..lol. Someone sooooo looking cool in some parachute pants was sooo on there with me.
Comment by Thoughtsgalore — June 26, 2006 @ 6:30 pm
Hmmmm…or maybe it was the Arizona Sonora rooftop sunning sessions on those Sundays. LOL. I sooooo needed that little flashback. You soooo many more of those..lol.
Comment by Thoughtsgalore — June 26, 2006 @ 6:31 pm
TG - Oh my god. That WAS at U of A. Were you wearing the Benetton sweater-vest?
Comment by Pauly D — June 26, 2006 @ 6:42 pm
Your parachutes were talking to you in your sleep. They said “Can’t Touch This.”
Comment by J.P. — June 26, 2006 @ 7:56 pm
Will you please make “My Parachute Pants” the song already.
I mean I’m tired of waiting.
Comment by JM — June 27, 2006 @ 2:23 am
i’m just relieved to see that the bubble skirt is back in circulation.
Comment by sass — June 27, 2006 @ 4:16 am
The only thing worse than parachute pants were those hideous Zoobas! (sp?) Especially the zebra ones. GAH!
Comment by Jeff — June 27, 2006 @ 6:26 am
I’ll be back.
Probably.
Comment by your parachute pants — June 27, 2006 @ 7:12 am
That’s a traumatic story, Pauly. If you feel the need to seek solace, know that Zuba pants are alive and well and still for sale in Buffalo, New York. (Perhaps the number one reason I moved from that city…) I know it’s a sad substitute for your parachute pants, but it’s something.
Comment by Danielle — June 27, 2006 @ 7:39 am
NO WAY! LOL! Are you serious! I did have a really cool deep pink benetton sweater lol…I wore it with my jean mini skirt!
Shut Up! Was it really u of a?!
Comment by Thoughtsgalore — June 27, 2006 @ 12:30 pm
Hi. If you feel up to it, I’m back blogging again. Come read my lovely thoughts. Thanks, Amy (inky) http://greenpotter.blogspot.com/
Comment by inky — June 27, 2006 @ 9:00 pm
Sorry to be a Johnathan-come-lately, but this may be your best post ever.
I hope you haven’t triggered my trouser-related flashbacks. I’d just gotten things under control. Fourteen years of therapy costs more than you’d think.
Comment by Pierce — June 28, 2006 @ 12:24 pm
Pierce - This is my best post ever.
Comment by Pauly D — June 29, 2006 @ 9:07 am