FPJ Returns, Then Leaves My Life Forever
May 23rd, 2006
If you’re new to WFME you may want to catch up on the Freddie Prinze, Jr. saga here.
In a nutshell, after working on a creative endeavor with the (now) star of his own ABC television show (which may or may not be coming back next season) and the periodic guest (star) on Boston Legal — we parted ways after he wouldn’t vocally admit to being my “best friend.” It was a strange scenario that was only compounded by his wife SMG treating me like crap and leaving a potentially strange message on my voice mail.
Needless to say, I thought it was all over until last week.
Seemingly all FPJ run-ins happen to occur in or around coffee shops in Los Angeles, and last week was no different. I was grabbing one of my favorite drinks at the Coffee Bean which is some kind of 1000 calorie banana caramel thing that includes no coffee in it whatsoever. So really, it’s some kind of ice cream blended artery clogging drink of some kind and I was slurping it down when I saw FPJ walk into the establishment wearing his sunglasses and a powerful Hollywood grin on his face. I watched him order his drink then move to the side while he waited for it to be delivered to him.
I sat and waited, watching. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to say a damn thing.
But as we all know, those moments come and go and when the moment hits us it’s a matter of taking the plunge or not taking the plunge and when FPJ turned around to take stock of who was in the establishment, our eyes locked for a split second and I stood up. In approaching him, I had a hopeful feeling that potentially all this baggage could finally be swept under the conceptual rug and all would be good.
“Hey Freddie,” I said…approaching him.
FPJ turned and sort of did this double take, which I believe was just him doing his acting thing in an attempt to try and diffuse any potentially dangerous situation he thought might be coming his way. He just sort of looked down at me under his glasses and took a pause. I pointed to myself…
“Uh, Paul Davidson…remember?”
FPJ stood there even longer, this time. Or at least it felt that way. It must have been, in reality, only about 12 seconds (which still seems really long) before he folded his obviously-expensive glasses up, hanging them on the pocket of his jeans. He took a step forward, and spoke:
“Ohhhh, yeah. Hey man. Good to see you.”
And then he turned back around and totally ignored me.
There’s one thing I can’t stand about Hollywood actors and that’s being ignored by Hollywood actors with whom I have worked before. Look, I get it — you’re better than all of us normal folk but if you and I have spent hours developing a TV show script together and then I run into you some day at a coffee shop, I expect to have a conversation last a little more than the five seconds it takes you to say “hey man good to see you.”
So I got up and sidled up next to FPJ.
“Things seem to be going well for you,” I said. “You know, with your show on ABC and your guest starring roles on Boston Legal… Good stuff!”
“Thanks, man,” he said, not even turning around.
“Do you even remember who I am,” I said, frustrated.
FPJ turned around, this time, just as his frappa-whatta-logical-latte popped up on the “good to go” ledge just next to the sweating baristas. He grabbed it, took a sip, then turned to look straight at me.
“Yeah, man,” he said. “You wanted to be my best friend but I already had a best friend, and since I couldn’t tell you that you were my best friend, we just had to stop being friends altogether.”
He hit the nail straight on the head.
“And your wife hates me too,” I finished.
FPJ took another sip and a half step towards the door like he was getting ready to bolt. But before he did, he actually had one last piece of knowledge to impart upon me.
He said, “Yeah, she hates you too,” and he was well on his way.
…
The moral of the story, of course — is that no actor or Hollywood starlett can ever really be your best friend. That in a world where they’re constantly attempting to make each of their “people” feel like they’re the most important (managers, agents, publicists, assistants, drivers, et al) that they still can’t actually vocalize the one statement that means more commitment to them than getting married or having a kid — telling someone that they’re their best friend.
I guess I know that now.
And that FPJ and I have pretty much drifted apart.
Pauly, that’s okay, you can call ME your best friend anytime. After all, no one except all your blog readers will know and all your real “people” in real life won’t feel slighted. Anyway, I saw SMG doing an extremely boring interview with a lo-o-o-ong story the basic point of which was she had trouble ordering olives in Greece.
Comment by Susan — May 23, 2006 @ 8:52 am
Pauly, I have a great idea for a sitcom. What’d you do today? You got up and went to a coffee shop. There’s a show. That’s a show.
Comment by H.F. Peterman — May 23, 2006 @ 9:16 am
Anyone who has to use the word “man” each time they talk to you doesn’t deserve to be your friend Pauly.
Comment by Hilary — May 23, 2006 @ 9:18 am
Awww. Pauly, I promise that if I ever become a Hollywood starlet, you can totally be my best friend. And not just my best friend — my BFF. A coveted title, I assure you.
Comment by annabel lee — May 23, 2006 @ 9:22 am
You should write a script about *that*.
Stupid FPJ. Famous because of his name. Oh, and because he married Buffy.
Comment by Kathleen — May 23, 2006 @ 9:40 am
I was so sad to read the whole sordid tale. You’ve been dissed and dismissed and it’s not fair. All you wanted to be was his best friend. Is that so much to ask? No. No it is not.
I hear Brian Austin Green is available.
Comment by Kevin — May 23, 2006 @ 10:42 am
Do this: Become a published author and super-powerful uber-producer and then refuse to “take meetings” with him, have your assistant (actually an intern named Ernie) tell him you are unavailable and make him audition for the part of himself in a biopic. You are sooo on your way to the ultimate revenge!!!
Comment by Susan — May 23, 2006 @ 10:48 am
chico would be ashamed of that man.
Comment by dgm — May 23, 2006 @ 1:59 pm
Sometimes I write things on my site that aren’t true, but I pretend they are. I imagine people reading them and wondering if this bit is true or that bit is true, and sometimes none of it is and sometimes all of it is. I laugh when I picture people trying to figure it out. I laugh and laugh.
I never realised the torment that I inflicting on them.
You know what I’m saying?
I thought the picture above was you until I started reading the post. I don’t know if that’s flattering or not.
Comment by Pierce — May 23, 2006 @ 3:41 pm
Pierce - I think I get what you’re saying, although I would have a hard time posting stuff in this town about celebs that wasn’t true, cause most of the time people I know happen to know them and then I’d get in trouble.
So, you know, besides my fake and imaginary conversations with celebs, I try to stay true to life.
Still, I can imagine you laughing and laughing.
Comment by Pauly D — May 23, 2006 @ 3:44 pm
That was deliciously ambiguous.
Comment by Pierce — May 23, 2006 @ 3:51 pm
This is funny. You shoulda been like “your wife’s a porn star” (much blogosphere buzz about Buffy going “in the buff” for her new film–yes, clever headlines abound in blogs).
At the end of the day, though, we feel bad for FPJ. After all, he just misses his dad.
Comment by Esther Kustanowitz — May 24, 2006 @ 12:02 am
This post was just for me, wasn’t it?
Comment by Esmee — May 24, 2006 @ 7:08 am
Esmee - Every post is just for you.
Comment by Pauly D — May 24, 2006 @ 7:22 am
I love that you write stories that everyone can relate to. I mean, who hasn’t had a dysfunctional non-friendship with a celebrity?
Comment by Rabbit — May 24, 2006 @ 3:25 pm
I like you way better than FPJ!! Can I be your best friend?
Comment by Jacquie — May 25, 2006 @ 1:10 pm
He’s gonna regret that someday. PS… you’re way better looking than FPJ.
Can I be your best friend NOW?
Comment by Jacquie — May 25, 2006 @ 1:10 pm
I’m soory Pauly but I am a true Freddie lover and I adore him but his best friend Conrad Jackson has known him for like all his life and you only know him for a couple of years and Freddie is the hottest man alive!!!!!:)
Comment by Chrisie X — June 9, 2006 @ 3:07 am
Freddie quite rightly takes his marriage to Sarah very seriously indeed. If I was lucky enough to be in his position I would never think or say that anyone else could ever be my best friend. It would not be fair for anyone to marry anyone else if they could conceive of preferring or desiring more intensely any other friendship. This article itself accuses celebs of not taking marriage seriously enough, at the same time as condemning a married man for refusing to insult his wife by saying he preferred someone else.
Comment by Dave — February 21, 2007 @ 1:50 pm
I am very glad if Sarah and Freddie DID close ranks, because that would be the responsible reaction of any married couple who wanted to stay together.
Comment by Dave — February 21, 2007 @ 1:57 pm
sad sad little man
Comment by lizzy — May 8, 2007 @ 10:45 pm