An Intimate Conversation with Tom Cruise
May 3rd, 2006
You may or may not remember back in 2004 when I hung out with Mr. Cruise mere minutes before the release of his film Collateral.
We spent a rollicking day together in Hollywood, and what initially began as a straight-forward interview with the man quickly de-evolved into me being the guy driving him around town while he shopped, got massages and tried to give me hugs all day long.
Now, with his new movie Mission Impossible 3 mere days from release, I got Mr. Cruise to actually sit down with me and reflect upon his career, his life and his movies.
While our conversation contained hours of discussion about everything from Tomkitten and Kate to his increased involvement in religo-cult Scientology — I wasn’t interested in reprinting that information here. Because here’s the thing — what Tom Cruise does in his private life is Tom Cruise’s business. What we should all be interested in is Tom Cruise’s show-business. That’s why I took Mr. Cruise on a trip into his past, discussing all of his big movies he’s been a part of and how he feels about them now, looking back.
Cruise is currently involved in creating a massive-media reconstitution project he calls RX1220 or The Tom Cruise Movie Cleaning Process — which I talked to him about at length:
Me: “So, can you tell us about this movie cleaning process? RX1220? What is that?”
Tom Cruise: “Bottom line: I’ve had some time to go back and look at the movies I did earlier in my career. Just like George Lucas has done with THX1138 or the Star Wars films… Or just like Steven [Spielberg] did when he re-released E.T. on DVD… They felt the movies weren’t fully the vision they’d originally wanted to put out there…so they changed them.”
Me: “So RX1220 involves changing the movies you’ve already acted in?”
Tom Cruise: “Improving…is the better word here. I’m improving on movies I acted in. Cleaning them up. Clearing up the messages.”
Me: “With Lucas or Spielberg, they “cleaned up” their own movies. What do the Directors of all your movies have to say about this?”
Tom Cruise: “What do they have to say? These are my movies.”
Me: “Okay. So here’s a list of your movies. Let’s go through them one by one and you tell me if you’re doing anything to change them… Um… 1983. Risky Business.”
Tom Cruise: “We’re tweaking the story a bit on that one. The whole pimp/prostitute thing is disrespectful to women. And the drugs? People like Joel, the character I play in that movie, don’t need alcohol and drugs to solve their problems. Now, when Joel’s parents go away and leave him the house… Remember, Joel is all confused about what he wants to do with his future… His body is plagued by what we now know to be body thetans. So, now — instead of calling up a prostitute that one night, he calls up a group of really wise friends who happen to have these sort of science-fiction like devices that are supposed to help him. And they come to him. And you can imagine the kind of crazy realizations Joel comes to terms with by the time his family comes home.”
Me: “I love that part in the movie where Joel says, ‘Sometimes in life you just gotta say what the f***.”
Tom Cruise: “Yeah, me too. It’s a really wonderful turning point for the character. Except now he says, ‘Sometimes in life you just gotta say, I’m clear. Cleeeeeaaaaaarrrr I tell you. CLEAR!”
Me: “Hm, okay. Well, what about your 1986 blockbuster Top Gun?”
Tom Cruise: “One of my favorite experiences as an actor. That movie was, well, just a blast to shoot.”
Me: “So that one’s pretty much staying intact?”
Tom Cruise: “Totally. Dogfights, fighter planes, tragedy. Instead of Maverick fighting Russian MIGs in the sky though, they’re fighting Xenu’s alien forces… And we totally cut Meg Ryan out of it since I heard she takes Tylenol to deal with her problems in real life which I just can’t support. But other than that, totally the same movie!”
Me: “Well that’s a relief to hear. How about that great 1988 romp of yours — Cocktail?”
[Cruise starts singing The Beach Boys' song Kokomo, from the movie. Then laughs hysterically.]
Tom Cruise: “Ha! Such a fun movie to film. Brian Brown, great co-star. We’re just doing a few miniscule tweaks. Instead of serving alcohol, Brian Flanagan my character…serves up advice instead. I mean, that guy serves up advice with such style, it’s just so great.”
Me: “But that whole movie was about serving drinks. What happened to all the bottle swinging and drink flinging?”
Tom Cruise: “CGI. Real easy to blur out. We’re calling it Advice Guy. But we’re still keeping the Beach Boys song in there, in case you were wondering.”
Me: “Okay, let me just run through a few more of your movies quickly here, since I know you have limited time. Rain Man?”
Tom Cruise: “Only change is the ending. Dustin’s character, Raymond Babbitt shouldn’t end up in a medical facility for his autism. Autism isn’t something that can be fixed with medicine and drugs. So instead, Raymond gets an apartment in Hollywood where he makes a ton of really great new friends who help him without prescribing a thing.”
Me: “Days of Thunder?”
Tom Cruise: “Tiny changes. Like, we change the name of the main character from Cole Trickle, which is honestly an unrealistic name to L. Ron Trickle.”
Me: “A Few Good Men?”
Tom Cruise: “Almost identical. We just tweaked some of the dialogue from Nicholson’s awesome ‘You Can’t Handle the Truth’ speech.”
Me: “Tweaked?”
Tom Cruise: “Yeah, because in all reality — we all can handle the truth. So instead, Colonel Jessep says to me, Daniel Kaffee — that I can handle the truth. That there IS a way to cope with the truth. And then Colonel Jessep takes Daniel Kaffee under his wing and shows him the way to the ultimate truth.”
Me: “Oh.”
Tom Cruise: “That’s great, right?”
Me: “Yeah, totally great.”
Tom Cruise: “Yeah. YEAH.”
Me: “You don’t expect you’ll be wanting to change your upcoming movie MI:3 ten years from now, do you?”
Tom Cruise: “Oh, NO WAY. This movie is perfect. Totally perfect.”
Me: “Oh, goodie.”
To say that, as a child, I was obsessed with the movie Top Gun is a bit of an understatement… I know it word for word. That’s back when I actually liked Tom Cruise. Before he freaked out on Nicole and demanded that he retain more money from their joint holdings because his career was better (while she was at home caring for their children). Now he, quite frankly, frightens me…. but Maverick? Maverick will never frighten me!!!
Comment by Bre — May 3, 2006 @ 7:38 am
Bre - Which Maverick? The James Garner Maverick or the Tom Cruise faux-Maverick?
Comment by Pauly D — May 3, 2006 @ 7:52 am
Gee, if you are even somewhat accurately describing TC’s personality, he sounds funfunfun! Laughing at his own jokes, singing, so self-confident. I wouldn’t be his cup of tea though, I have a 500 count bottle of Ibuprofen on my kitchen counter at all times.
Comment by Susan — May 3, 2006 @ 7:59 am
Of course “Legend” stays exactly how it is… right? I mean, why mess with perfection?
Comment by Dave2 — May 3, 2006 @ 8:12 am
Ah, Legend… Why would Tommy boy want to mess with that one? After all, it has unicorns. UNICORNS! And no, I’m not implying that has some connection with Mr. Cruise’s possibly repressed sexuality or anything, because how could it? Come on!
I’m just saying though.
(Bre, I was equally obsessed with Top Gun - I saw it five (5!) times in the theater, and ‘Danger Zone” still holds a very dear place in my heart. Those were the days…)
Comment by the swede — May 3, 2006 @ 9:18 am
Why do you know so much of the specifics of Scientology? Are YOU sending us subliminal messages?
Comment by Neil — May 3, 2006 @ 9:38 am
who knows what he would have done with Outsiders. That awesome movie would appall him today.
I had a poster of him on my bedroom door from ages 10-18. He was my first crush at age 5 when Outsiders came out and later when Top Gun was released, I too, swore I would someday marry Maverick…thank God Katie spared all us girls that nightmare.
I cannot believe my Tiger Beat dreamboat turned into….whatever he has become today. Not human, for sure. Thanx alot L. Ron
Comment by shannon — May 3, 2006 @ 1:19 pm
Do you think he’ll shorten the names of all female characters in his movies, to make them sound more grown-up — a la Katie/Kate?
Comment by sandra — May 3, 2006 @ 1:21 pm
You know I have been holding on to my copy of Jerry Maguire .. just wanting to believe that he would somehow manage to maintain some dignity and sanity .. I think I just might have to pull the tape out bit by bit .. Tommy, you lost me at “Her name is Kate now; she’s a child-bearing woman.” Freak!
Comment by mamakraft — May 3, 2006 @ 1:57 pm
You are so sued!
Comment by JM — May 3, 2006 @ 2:10 pm
Sandra - I think all the female’s names won’t matter. They won’t even speak. He’ll get rid of all their lines, I’m telling you! I know this Cruise guy, and I know that’s what he’d do.
Comment by Pauly D — May 3, 2006 @ 3:51 pm
The only problem I’m having with this is the concept of Tom Cruise speaking in complete, even somewhat coherent, sentences.
Comment by Belinda — May 3, 2006 @ 9:09 pm
Paul..y,
I just recieved my book yesterday. I want to thank you so much. Now can we talk about the “Y” thing?
Thanks Again,
Mike……..Y
Comment by mikey — May 3, 2006 @ 10:28 pm
MikeY - I don’t know what you mean.
Comment by Pauly D — May 3, 2006 @ 10:41 pm
So in Jerry Maguire when he says, “You complete me,” was he really talking to L. Ron instead of Renée Zellweger?
Comment by Keith — May 4, 2006 @ 9:09 am
I think Tom needs an intervention.
Comment by Syd — May 6, 2006 @ 7:26 am
Meg Ryan was in Top Gun?
Hold on, yes, wasn’t she the wife of his navigator Goose?
It’s coming back, maybe she wouldn’t be missed then.
Hilarious.
Comment by Mik — May 6, 2006 @ 2:40 pm
“You know I have been holding on to my copy of Jerry Maguire .. just wanting to believe that he would somehow manage to maintain some dignity and sanity .. I think I just might have to pull the tape out bit by bit .. Tommy, you lost me at “Her name is Kate now; she’s a child-bearing woman.” Freak!”
Brainwashed tabloid drone! Tom never said that, idiot, it was made up by tabloids again.
Comment by gina — May 20, 2007 @ 12:02 pm