WFME’s You Decide: A Bird In The Hand or A Bird In The Bush

My decision is not what you might have expected.

Being faced with getting hit in the head with an anvil or a dead kangaroo’s carcass is one thing. Trying to decide between the name “Jon” versus “John” is another. But all famous sayings aside, when you really sit down and think about it, wouldn’t you totally rather have a bird in the bush than a bird in the hand?

Literally speaking, I can agree with that mentality wholeheartedly.

First and foremost, there’s a lot of talk lately about this bird flu thing. They say don’t touch birds, don’t caress birds and definitely don’t share needles with birds. The government suggests that you stay away from birds as often as possible and if you happen to come across one in a wide open field…run as fast as you can.

Ten New Ways To Answer The Phone That Will Really Make Your Callers Intrigued (Or, Confused)

  1. “Don’t speak. No. Seriously. Don’t say a word.”
  2. “I am SO bloated.”
  3. [Crying, uncontrollably.]
  4. “Before you say a thing I just want you to know that I already ate an entire box of granola.”
  5. “Jimmy-cakes?”
  6. “Thank god, I thought after the whole bao incident that you’d never call back.”
  7. “What city please?”
  8. “I don’t want you to judge me for what I’m about to say and I don’t want you to think of me any less or look at me in a bad light or anything like that after I say what I’m about to say but I hope you can just have an open mind and really not think negatively about what I’m about to say…right…this…minute.” [Then don’t say a thing, no matter what they say.]

Memorial Day MP3

The free-music Memorial Day tradition continues.

Come once a year on Memorial Day, I do my best to give up a free MP3 of a band I think you probably haven’t heard of, introducing you to new music, a warmth through your body you’ve never felt before and in doing so, run up my bandwidth so high that in about 4 1/2 weeks I’ll have to take the song back down.

But until then, it’s free!

Today, I’d like to introduce you to a band called Matt Pond PA. Don’t ask me what their name means, if they’re really from PA (Pennsylvania) or if they live near a pond. Instead, why not listen to their great song So Much Trouble off their newest album Several Arrows Later. With a slew of previous CDs, if you like this you may find you’ve got tons of new music to snag.

Enjoy! And Merry Memorial Day to you and yours.

Today’s Blatant Admission About Feeling Gum

You probably won’t like me anymore after I admit this.

But it being Memorial Day and all (a day of remembering those who fought for our country and a day of making admissions related to chewable but not digestable snack products) I figured it was time to admit to doing something that I think everyone else probably does but never admits it for fear of being looked at with suspicious eyes.

Yes, today I’d like to admit that I… feel gum.

The No Water Go Bad Conspiracy

“No water go bad.”

It’s the kind of phrase a five year old kid with a lisp might say while you were getting him one of those mylar metallic-reflective balloons as you told him he shouldn’t drink what was left in that water bottle hanging out the back of the stroller of his five month old sister because eventually, like all other foods on this planet — water eventually goes bad.

Yet that’s not the conspiracy I’m talking about here.