I Am So Street

I am so street.

Despite the fact that if you say it over and over again and look at that sentence and then suddenly the phrase seems like it really has zero meaning whatsoever, that doesn’t mean I’m not street. It just means that you have trouble saying a phrase over and over again and losing your comprehensive ability while doing so. But it doesn’t mean that me, in all my street-ness, has less of the street in me just because you can’t comprehend the streetability I possess.

Yes. It’s true. Street, I am.

How did someone so white become so street is something I often hear people saying behind my back as I walk down the street being street. Even if I’m walking down a cobblestone pathway or a dirt road (which are so not streets) I can still get the sense that others are wondering how I got so street. I mean, a caucasian like me, with zero life on the street before becoming street is a scenario that’s hard to understand. Is street born in someone on the street or is someone who has never lived on the street still street enough to possess the street inside of them?

If you have to ask about the street-ness factor, you might as well just walk on home (on a street of some kind) and forget about it.

Before I was ever street, I was “down.” Being “down” wasn’t nearly as exciting as being “so street” simply because being down with something was never that impressive or hard to achieve. That being said, before I was so street, and before I was down, I was “feeling you” and “true” — but let’s be honest with each other, okay? I wasn’t really feeling you and the amount of “true” inside of me was even less true than those guys on that “Wassssup” commercial, and if I can say that now, and admit that, you know that the trueness inside of me had far less of a majority percentage than the amount of street currently inside of me.

There was a fleeting moment, when I was in college, when I had the potential to “bust a cap in yo’ ass” but that was just a phase I was going through. I mean, really, it was just a plain old generic “bust a cap” obsession but I never really followed through. Then as soon as I had started concentrating on wanting to bust a cap, I suddenly woke up one day and everything had changed. Yup, you guessed it — I was suddenly “a smooth operator” and that took me through to college graduation.

At which point I “was down.”

But like I said earlier, the whole “being down” phase wore off pretty quickly as I entered the workforce and then (like most people finding themselves) I began “feeling you” and being “true” and there was even a few months there where I was getting all “freaky-deeky” on my bad self. But it’s funny how you really don’t know how silly you were as a person until you leave phases like that behind and really settle on something that suits you.

Alas, me being street.

Look, not everyone can be so street like me. There’s people who are only able to ascend to half of the streetness that I have. I like to say to those people, “You are so walkway” or “You are so cobblestone pathway”. It’s okay to be cobblestone pathway, you know? You don’t have to beat yourself up over being a well-manicured, skillfully arranged pathway with tiny rocks flown in from Switzerland. It’s just, well, more white than a loaf of Wonder Bread.

But like I’ve learned in my life (and I’m here to impart that knowledge upon you all, dear readers) — you’ve got to be who you are. You can’t pretend to be something different than what your soul wants to be. You’ve got to reach deep down into your psyche, wrench your hand around your mojo, and pull out the “real you” and settle for that.

Unless you’re so street, like me.

Then, you can do whatever the hell you want.

In other news, why not submit an idea for tomorrow’s Words For Your Enjoyment? Yeah, and why not shoot yourself in the head accidentally. I mean really. What a horrible idea. Forget it. I mean, what was I thinking? Really. Sometimes I think I should just lock myself in a room with nothing but a TV, food, running water, a shower, a telephone and thirty of my friends and have a Gilmore Girls marathon.

15 comments on “I Am So Street

  1. Bre - April 20, 2006 at 6:05 am -

    You really are street… or as my students would say “you be doin’dat fo’rea!”

  2. Pauly D - April 20, 2006 at 6:06 am -

    Bre – I totally was doin’ dat fo’ real in between being down and being street, FYI.

  3. Kevin - April 20, 2006 at 6:40 am -

    I don’t think seeing the phrase “I am so street” really negates its effectiveness so much as the Yoda-speak “street, I am” does. Just something to think about.

    However, if Yoda does go street and says something like “street, I am, yo!” I’m down wit’ it.

    Yo.

  4. H.F. Peterman - April 20, 2006 at 6:53 am -

    Did you know you said “street” or “ness” over 30 times? Maybe you could shake it up and say “I’m so Avenue” or “Boulevard” “Parkway” ???

  5. Pierce - April 20, 2006 at 6:57 am -

    I busted a cap once. It was really annoying. A thread kind of came loose at the corner and then the whole thing just unravelled. I had to get my mam to knit me a new one.

  6. annabel lee - April 20, 2006 at 7:29 am -

    I suspect I’m more cul-de-sac than anything else. I am definitely not street. I am, however, in awe of your street-ness, Pauly.

  7. Keith - April 20, 2006 at 8:13 am -

    I think I’m more boulevard.

  8. Janet - April 20, 2006 at 9:06 am -

    I was wondering about another way to say, “That man that don’t give a damn” because that takes up so much room. “He is street, man, with emphasis on the STREET.” sounds a lot better.

    I vote that Paul starts an encyclopedia.

    SWEET.

  9. mattlandia himself - April 20, 2006 at 10:30 am -

    I’m feeling your werdz Mr. White Street. But yain’t got naw on me less you ‘righteous’. You bess keep walkin that long street to ‘righteousness’ cuz, less you stands still and turns right into ‘Old Skool’.

    Word.

  10. Flower Girl - April 20, 2006 at 11:51 am -

    Word…

  11. Nicola - April 20, 2006 at 1:30 pm -

    I’m terrace man, I got my bro on both sides…. *ok that sounded better in my head*

  12. Karl - April 20, 2006 at 8:15 pm -

    True dat.

  13. melina - April 20, 2006 at 9:30 pm -

    lean wit it, rock wit it

  14. Rabbit - April 21, 2006 at 3:17 am -

    I notice that you skipped the phase when you were “gettin’ jiggy wit it.”

  15. Enigma - April 22, 2006 at 5:43 pm -

    I’m commenting because I thought your title said I”m a Street. I thought “What the heck is that nut thinking now? Is he serpentine or straight?” I guess I’m the nut.

    Oh and honey, you’re about as street as Barry Manilow. That’s why I love ya.

    Smooches!

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