March 22nd, 2006
- “I play a lot of video games, you know, for that whole eye-hand coordination… I mean, video games are a billion dollar industry these days… Did you know the movie industry makes less money each year than the video game industry? Anyway, I play a lot of video games and I just hurt my wrist last night playing Capture the Flag with my buddies online and so, um, it’s really hard to use my left hand to open, um, car doors.”
- “There are two types of women in this world. The ones who want their car door opened and the ones who get insulted by opening a car door for them because they want to be viewed as independent and self-sufficient. Well, I looked at all the options here and figured that I was better off not pissing you off, assuming you’re the kind of woman who wouldn’t want me to open her car door. Now, don’t get me wrong - I thought about the other option, but if you are the type of woman who would want her car door opened and I didn’t do it, I think I’d just generally not get as much wrath as I would in the other situation… So, you see? It all worked out.”
- “The valets get pissed off when you do their job for them. And you don’t want to piss them off because if you do, the next time you let them park your car they’ll steal all your quarters. And without quarters, I can’t do my laundry, and without my laundry I’ll end up having to wear less flattering clothing and then I won’t be presentable and your family won’t like me and this whole relationship will be doomed.”
- “If people see me opening the car door for you they’re going to think this is our first date, and really let’s be honest — that’s the last thing we want people to think.”
- “Chivalry is dead. No, I’m serious. It totally is. The News said so.”
Posted under Dating, Lists of Five, Manners. |
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Hear, hear! I may make this required reading for all future potential dates…
Comment by annabel lee — March 22, 2006 @ 8:42 am
This could be the start of a whole new book!!!
I smell a best seller!
Comment by Jacquie — March 22, 2006 @ 8:46 am
Jacquie - It IS a new book. Lists of five. So, um, somebody pay me for it.
Comment by Pauly D — March 22, 2006 @ 8:47 am
Here’s a nickel … I liked #3.
Comment by nic — March 22, 2006 @ 8:51 am
#6 My cardoors are welded shut. However, I will open the window for you.
Comment by H.F. Peterman — March 22, 2006 @ 9:01 am
#7: I don’t want to set a precedent.
Comment by The Centaur — March 22, 2006 @ 9:22 am
And we all know that if we can’t trust the nightly news, who can we trust?
Comment by Kevin — March 22, 2006 @ 9:46 am
#8 - My door is on the other side.
But really, what guy wants a girl who consistantly wants a man to open the car door from her. Sure, maybe if you’re all dressed up and going to a ball, but if it’s 9:45 and we’re trying to make it to Blockbuster by 10:00 to avoid paying a late fee on “Bringing Down The House,” I’m still supposed to open the door for my girlfriend? If that’s the case, love might just not be worth it.
Comment by Dan — March 22, 2006 @ 9:47 am
#9. i just thought you wanted to wait out here while i ran inside.
Comment by dgm — March 22, 2006 @ 9:54 am
If these are the 5 “Faulty” excuses for not opening the car door for a lady, are there 5, or any, legitimate reasons? And by “Faulty” do you mean the lady could find fault with these?(because any lady could find fault with someone who takes that long to explain themselves)
Comment by susan — March 22, 2006 @ 9:57 am
There’s a videogame for “Capture the Flag”? I’ve got to get my hands on that.
Comment by Keith — March 22, 2006 @ 10:14 am
To avoid the uncomfortable situation that may arise by not getting the car door for a woman, I never take my wife out. Problem solved. But I do get the kitchen cabinet door for her so she can get the pots to make me dinner.
Comment by Jerry — March 22, 2006 @ 10:35 am
“You have such well-toned arms that I figured you must open and close a lot of doors. How else would you have gotten so svelte?”
Comment by sandra — March 22, 2006 @ 11:00 am
you can open my door…as long as you’re not going to push me out of it
Comment by Wendi — March 22, 2006 @ 11:03 am
Sandra - See, if women complimented men’s door-opening musculature, maybe more doors would be opened.
Comment by Pauly D — March 22, 2006 @ 11:08 am
Deja vous just hit like a semi.
In high school, my first date was a funny little fellow, not much taller than myself. Somewhere along the line, he was given the impression that the worst thing that one could possibly do is to let the woman open her own car door. Annoying little prick. Our evening consisted of a dance and dinner and a movie… a lot of driving and a lot of, “Don’t move! I’ll open it for you.” So I would sit there, like I was on release from the care center and wait for him to obligingly shuffle around the car and open the stupid door.
Chivalry is corny.
Comment by Janet — March 22, 2006 @ 12:19 pm
The other end of the spectrum isn’t especially appealing, let me tell ya. I once dated a guy who would get seriously huffy if I opened my own door. Chivalry is certainly delightful at times, but when taken to the extreme it’s just annoying.
Comment by Bre — March 22, 2006 @ 12:24 pm
Personally I agree with Janet, I hate having to wait in the car while a guy walks around to open the door like I’m some kind of moron who doesn’t know how to pull on a door handle.
But I do think that chivalry has a time and place. I don’t mind when a guy opens the door of a building (or car) for me, as long as he doesn’t shove me out of the way to get there first (which has happened before).
Comment by Nicole — March 22, 2006 @ 1:31 pm
i’m a big girl, i can open my own car doors, but i won’t be offended if one was opened for me or not opened for me.
Comment by better safe than sorry — March 22, 2006 @ 2:29 pm
My boyfriend is not in the habit of opening car doors for me, but once he decided to be thoughtful and back the car out a little so I wouldn’t have to trudge through the snow to get in.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know that and was walking behind the vehicle at the time.
Comment by Rabbit — March 22, 2006 @ 4:33 pm
You know what? I think that was actually last Valentine’s Day.
Comment by Rabbit — March 22, 2006 @ 4:35 pm
I love the excuse based on “what others would think”. That’s hilarious because you know people really do care about that. You’ve struck the proverbial nail on the head.
Comment by Leah — March 22, 2006 @ 5:47 pm
Pauly D, I adore — with passion — your amazingly perfect, well-sculpted, insanely gorgeous arms.
(how’s that?)
Comment by sandra — March 22, 2006 @ 5:47 pm
Sandra - That’s awesome. I’d totally open your door for you.
Comment by Pauly D — March 22, 2006 @ 5:48 pm
“capture the flag”
is that what they’re calling it nowadays?
Comment by meme — March 22, 2006 @ 6:09 pm
I’ve wondered where all my quarters disappear to! I’ll keep an eye on the valets from now on. Thanks Pauly!
Comment by purpletwinkie — March 22, 2006 @ 8:34 pm
great post. i love my hubby for being the guy who opens the car door, though! what a southern gentleman!
Comment by C(h)ristine — March 22, 2006 @ 10:33 pm
#9 I thought this was one of those futuristic cars where the doors open by themselves. Apparently i was wrong but this does make a strong case for continued study into teleportation.
Comment by Brent — March 23, 2006 @ 3:27 am
thanks for these excuses. i will use #2.
this is always a problem for me. sometimes i end up just standing there thinking about whether i should or should not open the door for her. and that’s a really bad start to the date. it’s ruined many a promising evening, this chivalry thing…
Comment by junaid — March 23, 2006 @ 4:58 am
Rabbit - I don’t mean to laugh at you, but … hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Comment by nic — March 23, 2006 @ 8:42 am
When a guy opens a car door for a guy, it’s almost like Brokeback Mountain. There’s inner turmoil, there’s confusion, there’s that urge to say, “I don’t know how to quit you!”. So, if you are going to going to play it safe, and stay true to yourself, you might as well exclude the ladies as well.
Comment by monkeyinabox — March 24, 2006 @ 8:08 am
haha…loved this one! a must-read for all bloggers
Comment by claudzki — March 25, 2006 @ 9:46 pm