Examining The Auto-Nod
February 23rd, 2006
I pulled up to a stoplight yesterday.
By itself, pulling up to a stoplight isn’t amazing or groundbreaking or stunning by any stretch of the imagination. Obeying the laws of the road just happens to be something I do because I like to fall-in-line like our local government and Highway Patrol expects me to.
But there was one thing I wasn’t expecting when I turned to look to my right, while sitting in my car, at said previously aforementioned “pulling up to the stoplight” location…
I was given the auto-nod.
That’s right — someone I didn’t know, I’d never seen before in my life, who happened to be parked directly next to me at the stoplight saw that I was turning their way, our eyes locked in that kind of uncomfortable “we don’t know each other look” and then this driver who I had never ever talked to in my entire life nodded at me.
And I nodded back.
For god’s sake, what had just happened? Had I just agreed to pay for their children’s college tuition? Had I, in some unspoken agreement, confirmed that the HIT should continue as previously planned? Had they asked me, without mouthing any words, if I swung THAT WAY instead of THIS WAY — and I had agreed? What was the meaning of this split-second auto-nod and why were we doing it?
It happened the other day with a motorcyle rider, as well.
I was stopped at a stoplight (I do this often, by the way) and the motorcycle rider sped to a halt directly next to my car at which point I looked over and the motorcycle rider (in all his macho goodness) gave me the motorcycle helmet-shake which looks far more active because that head is just out there in a helmet nodding away.
And I nodded back.
I just about want to kill myself with all this unwarranted nodding on the roads of our streets and towns. Why do I feel the need to nod back? Do I assume that if I don’t nod back, something bad will happen? (Yes.) Do I believe that by nodding back I am indirectly quelling potential community unrest by quietly agreeing to some road-friendship that the other person is asking for?
Why can’t I stop the auto-nod/motorcycle helmet-shake?
Everytime I tell myself I’m going to stop, I don’t. Everytime I’m faced with an auto-nod, I nod right back. Everytime I ask people what I should do they tell me to stop nodding to strangers and yet when push comes to shove, there I am again with the auto-nod. And it’s gotten worse. What was once a simple auto-nod, what turned into a blatant motorcycle helmet-shake, now has evolved into the trucker shoulder-shove, the metermaid hand-motion, the crosswalker honk-look and the bicyclist head-twist.
An unspoken, unknowing sharing of motions — supposedly communicating something, yet I continue to stand in the dark when it comes to what the actual meaning is.
Yet as a simple, humble man with no ability to stop the nodding and the waving and the shoving and the twisting and the looking and the thinking — I will continue to nod right back at you if you instigate an auto-nod for the simple reason that I would rather nod than not, and know that I’ve saved the world in the process.
Or, something like that.
—
In other news regarding a particular day dubbed “Friday” — tomorrow brings us yet another edition of “Words For Your Enjoyment”! That’s where you find your inner self, your inner ideas, and you provide them to WFME’s inner-submission page for potential linkage, idea-stealing and fame. So go ahead, submit something. We dare you.
I cured myself of the looking-around-while-waiting-for-the-light-to-change phenomenon after the horrible seeing-the-driver-next-to-me-masturbate episode of ‘93.
If that doesn’t scare you into not nodding, I don’t know what will…if you don’t look around, you won’t get forced into the obligatory nod…
Comment by Flower Girl — February 23, 2006 @ 8:14 am
Flower Girl - So, should I wear a blindfold or something, just at stoplights?
Comment by Pauly D — February 23, 2006 @ 8:15 am
I think nodding is a guy thing. Women smile at the car next to them.
Comment by Hilary — February 23, 2006 @ 8:30 am
Pauly -
I recommend checking your look in the mirror, changing your selection of music, staring at the stop light and willing it to change, that sort of thing.
Anything to avoid having the image of that totally nasty looking guy pleasuring himself in the truck burned into your mind’s eye for all of time…
Comment by Flower Girl — February 23, 2006 @ 8:35 am
If the guy in the car is cute and alone, I’ll nod. Or wink. Or hold up a sign that says, “Are you Jewish?” If he nods, I hold up another sign that says, “Are you single?” If he nods again, I hold up a third sign that says, “Call me,” with my phone number.
This only works at very slow traffic lights. It also works on the freeway during “rush” hour.
Comment by annabel lee — February 23, 2006 @ 8:38 am
hahahaha! you nodded back?! when given the nod, you smirk and then turn and look forward.
you NEVER return the nod, paul. never.
Comment by kristine — February 23, 2006 @ 8:40 am
Yep, nodding back is like saying, “Hey man, let’s hook up later for a night of drinks and you know….”
Comment by monkeyinabox — February 23, 2006 @ 8:56 am
Pauly, good manners are the glue of society. This is the way society functions. Aren’t you a part of society? Because if you don’t want to be a part of society, Pauly, why don’t you just get in your car and quit your head nodding.
Comment by H.F. Peterman — February 23, 2006 @ 9:01 am
Great, so that’s why those guys stormed into my apartment this morning, took all the food out of my fridge, broke my kneecaps and then stuck around for an hour watching TV while I was sitting there, blindfolded and in pain? Thanks a lot.
Comment by Keith — February 23, 2006 @ 9:06 am
The worst situation is when someone is driving the same car as you and he thinks it gives him the right to wave at me or give me a thumbs up, like I want to associate with anyone who drives the same shitty car as me.
Comment by Neil — February 23, 2006 @ 9:10 am
Pauly’s School of Auto Erotic Paranoia?
Comment by Adri — February 23, 2006 @ 9:14 am
As stupid as it is, I would have to nod back too. You need to stop looking over. Or maybe get tinted windows….lol
or maybe they recognize you from your blog?
Comment by Dawn (webmiztris) — February 23, 2006 @ 10:20 am
If that was a Hell’s Angel motorcyclist, you’ve just agreed to be their bitch at the next biker rave!
Comment by Dave2 — February 23, 2006 @ 10:45 am
i smile at everybody, no nodding here. i think it’s nice, i think your slightly paranoid, but in a good way.
Comment by better safe than sorry — February 23, 2006 @ 10:54 am
I like to give people the up-nod, which they clearly don’t expect from a female. It’s like, “Yeah, now what, swinehund?”
Comment by nic — February 23, 2006 @ 10:59 am
Funny faces are so much more fun!
Comment by Shevy — February 23, 2006 @ 11:30 am
yeah, I’m an up-nodder too. Especially after exchanging glances at stoplights. I’m also that girl you see rocking out to lame 80’s music while driving, singing to myself in the rearview mirror.
Comment by Jaclyn — February 23, 2006 @ 11:31 am
You could always just carry a gun, and the next time someone gives you the head nod calmly raise your gun to the window and make like you’re trying to figure out how to undo the safety. Fun times!
Comment by Dan — February 23, 2006 @ 11:37 am
I find that pretending to change the station on the radio works fairly well… and I’m with the girl who made the first comment: by merely returning a nod from a random trunk, the stoplight next to the hotel will always be remembered as the location where Z’s car was humped. So tramatizing. Do not nod at strangers! (Or, at least, drunk ones).
Comment by Janet — February 23, 2006 @ 11:59 am
That’s nothing. A few weeks ago, I was at a pharmacy, and I saw this guy who works at the local KFC. We recognized each other, not because we actually know each other, but just because I like KFC. He WAVED at me . . .
And I waved back.
Someone get me some help, please.
Comment by Will — February 23, 2006 @ 1:36 pm
Dan - Oh, carrying a gun. This is something for another post, but I would be deathly afraid I would kill myself. Or maim myself. Or shoot off my thumbs, which would keep me alive but disallow me from closing ziploc bags. Ah, the baggage.
Janet - I have tried this, but I am NOT GOOD at faking the changing of radio stations. The quality nodders can tell when I’m faking it.
Will - You do need help.
Comment by Pauly D — February 23, 2006 @ 2:18 pm
This reminds me of the waving phenomenon. I always have the urge to wave at people, even if I am two feet away from them. I also find myself waving back at people who are clearly not waving at me. It’s very sad, really.
Comment by Jacynth — February 23, 2006 @ 2:37 pm
I think in your mutual nod, you agreed to a drug deal or to perform a mafia hit…
Comment by LisaBinDaCity — February 23, 2006 @ 2:39 pm
See, through the whole thing i was thinking, “If you do this without even thinking about it, then isn’t it in fact an ‘AUTO auto-nod’??”
Comment by Teece — February 23, 2006 @ 3:01 pm
What about when strangers say “Hi, how are you?” in crowded places so you’re really not sure if they’re saying it to you or a person who is possibly behind you? I can never get it right. I will ignore them when in fact there is no one behind me and they did mean to greet me…and then…I will respond to their greeting when they are greeting that person who is really behind me. Either way I get that, “What is with her?” stare of disproval.
Comment by Jaclyn — February 23, 2006 @ 3:47 pm
I always stare straight ahead. I don’t look at other drivers and thus don’t have to worry about the auto-nod or catching someone picking his nose or something. Eyes on the road. Safety first.
Comment by Rabbit — February 23, 2006 @ 4:06 pm
I, too, have succumbed to the pressure and participated in the auto-nod. Mostly because I don’t want people to think I’m a bitch. Or to realize it, anyway.
The same applies to the requisite exchanging of pleasantries with strangers. Does anyone really care how a person they have never met and will likely never see again is doing today?
Comment by Nicole — February 23, 2006 @ 4:10 pm
Pauly…you were were officially getting checked out with a car to car, intimate moment. It’s in the stare. A quick glance and locking of the eyes..is a glance. A full on stare and you catch the eyes on you…a total check out!
I think hi on the street..in the hall..in an elevator..is just being nice. You never know what that person might become to you. One of my greatest loves was met in an elevator! Ok..drunk in college…but still he ended up being a longtime love.
Yes, I am the queen of all things not important. You want useless trivia, then I’m the girl. LOL!
xoxo
Comment by Thoughtsgalore — February 23, 2006 @ 4:51 pm
in my circles (which is to say the circumference around me, myself and i), the stoplight auto-nod is a no-no. it begs for a misunderstanding between the parties, as you’ve demonstrated quite vividly, or the exertion of social pressure over the reluctant nodder (which, incidentally, you’ve also demonstrated)
the freeway nod or freeway smile are fine so long as the vehicles are traveling at speeds exceeding 40 mph. this permits an escape route for the victimized or reluctant nodder.
gawd pauly, i thought everybody knew this stuff.
Comment by dgm — February 23, 2006 @ 6:10 pm
I occasionally get the auto-nod, and I interpret it as a gesture of goodwill, or at least a recognition that I am a human being on par with the nodder, and for that moment anyway, not someone to be shot at or flipped off. Perhaps somewhat optimistically, I see it as maybe a secret sign of and an invitation to join a deep underground group that has renounced road rage and all its works, something akin to The Brotherhood in Orwell’s “1984.”
Comment by David R. — February 23, 2006 @ 8:22 pm
I didn’t think any sort of acknowledging another person’s existence happened in LA.
That guy must have just moved here.
So did you challenge him to a breathe-off or what?
Comment by JM — February 23, 2006 @ 11:39 pm
Whenever I exchange a nod at a stoplight, part of me thinks I’ve just agreed to drag race the car next to me once the light turns green.
To potentially save face, I always peel out when the light changes. To my knowledge, I’m undefeated in the local impromptu drag racing circles.
Comment by The Centaur — February 24, 2006 @ 9:41 am