I Could Be Your Elevator Door Holder

My job would require standing in an elevator all day long.

No, I would not be the guy pressing the buttons. No, I would not be shouting out what’s on this floor and oh, here comes that floor and nice weather we’re having. No, I wouldn’t know how the red phone works or why it’s red and I wouldn’t spend time keeping track of the elevator’s capacity and how many people can or should be inside.

But I could be your elevator door holder — and you’d love me for it.

No, I Don’t Want To See You Balance A Salt Shaker On Sugar

You are extremely impressed with your out-of-this-world talents.

That must be why, no matter where we are, no matter where we go, no matter the time of day, no matter the mood I’m in, no matter the weather or time…if we find ourselves in a diner, restaurant or outside cafe — your hands immediately go for the salt shaker and a packet of sugar in preparation of what you like to call your “Greatest Show on Earth”.

No, I don’t want to see you balance a salt shaker on sugar and I hope it’s something you’ll soon take to heart.

More Unused Words

You wouldn’t believe the ratio of used-posts to unused posts I’ve got.

Often, people ask me about my writing process for WFME. In accomplishing this mind-blowing daily posting, do I write the posts ahead of time or do I write them each and every day? Do I have a backlog that I just schedule to show up or do I spend each and every morning squeezing blood from the proverbial laptop?

To be honest, I have more unused posts sitting in the queue than you could ever imagine.

Do You Believe In Life After Love?

Do you believe in life after love?

See, I can feel something inside me say that I really don’t think you’re strong enough but at the same time I wonder if you really do believe in life after love. I don’t know, I can feel something inside me say that I really don’t think you’re strong enough.

Look, what am I supposed to do?

Do I sit around and wait for you — well, I can’t do that. And let me tell you, there’s no turning back. I’m the kind of guy that needs time to move on because I need a love to feel strong. And because I’ve got time to think it through, I might very well come to the conclusion that maybe I’m too good for you.

WFME’s Battlestar Friday

Sometimes people need vacations.

And if you’re like every other insane person out there, you often look at inanimate objects and apply personality traits to them. You talk to your plants, you coddle your blankets, you talk to the hand… Well then, shouldn’t a regular blog feature like “Words For Your Enjoyment” get a day off once in a blue moon due to the human fatigue it’s feeling?

That’s why our regularly scheduled WFYE has been replaced today [it will be back next week] with WFME’s Battlestar Friday!