Airplane Travel Rule #110
December 27th, 2005
Apparently, and I had no idea about this — you are not allowed to bring a portable hot-plate on a commercial airline.
Had I lived in the time of hunting/gathering where I was responsible for hunting, killing and providing food for me and my family — any steps necessary would be acceptable in doing so. But when I am faced with a four hour flight from Chicago to San Francisco on which there is no food whatsoever — I am told it is illegal to bring my food-preparation object of choice (i.e. my metaphorical deadly spear) — the portable hot plate.
I will find a loop hole for this rule. I promise you.
We’re counting on you, Pauly. This portable-hot-plate oppression cannot be allowed to continue!
Comment by annabel lee — December 27, 2005 @ 6:23 am
Please let me know what you uncover. And if you can find a loophole for my portable blender wand, I would be most appreciative.
Comment by Kevin — December 27, 2005 @ 7:04 am
FOUR HOURS! It’s a wonder you didn’t starve to death!
Those heartless bastards!
Comment by nic — December 27, 2005 @ 7:13 am
you didn’t take the private jet?
is everything ok?! i’m here to talk if you need me, Paul…
Comment by kristne — December 27, 2005 @ 7:57 am
What if you promise to make enough food for everyone?
Comment by Rabbit — December 27, 2005 @ 8:09 am
…have they removed hot plates off these planes entirely? they used to serve food on them. perhaps you could use THEIR hot plate!
it would be cool to use their microwave.
Comment by C(h)ristine — December 27, 2005 @ 8:37 am
You know, you could always pick up a burrito, or a corndog, or a piece of chicken cordon bleu…
Just sayin’.
Comment by heather — December 27, 2005 @ 8:42 am
“…pick up a burrito, or a corndog, or a piece of chicken cordon bleu…”
Yes. That and one of those bloomin’ onion things from Chili’s.
C(h) - I’m going to try and force my way into the secured front cabin area of the plane, past the air marshalls and into the food preparation area where I know they have food.
I just know it. And I’m going to get it.
Comment by Pauly D — December 27, 2005 @ 8:57 am
If they’re not going to serve food, the least they can do is let everyone bring an extra carry-on. You know, a bag full of (pre-cooked) food.
Christine, I bet if they were to let us passengers use the microwave, they’d charge us extra.
I wonder whether a hunger-related hallucinations defense would hold up in court? I can get VERY testy when I’m not allowed to eat, and I don’t think I should be held accountable for screaming at the top of my lungs and possibly gnawing on my fellow passengers’ arms.
Comment by the swede — December 27, 2005 @ 9:04 am
True story: I once was on a plane that wasn’t serving any food and the woman next to me fell asleep and I noticed the corner of a fruit-roll up (still wrapped) sticking out of her bag. I promptly grabbed it, went to the bathroom (where I consumed it), then returned later, satisfied.
Upon returning our trays to the upright position she asked me if I saw her fruit-roll up.
I, of course, hadn’t.
Comment by Pauly D — December 27, 2005 @ 9:08 am
Pauly, Bloomin’ Onions are from the Outback Steakhouse, not Chili’s.
And even if you could bring a portable hot plate onto a plane, do you have the necessary adapter to plug it into the power socket?
Comment by Keith — December 27, 2005 @ 9:27 am
Keith - Yes, I have more power adapters than a small South American country.
Comment by Pauly D — December 27, 2005 @ 9:34 am
Is that how most of your life is, Pauly? Up-in-the-air?
Comment by nic — December 27, 2005 @ 9:44 am
what about my quesadilla maker?
Comment by amanda — December 27, 2005 @ 11:36 am
You stole some woman’s food (or as close to food as a fruit roll up can be considered) out of her bag on a flight?
Comment by anonymous city girl — December 27, 2005 @ 12:54 pm
Silly Paul… small South American countries don’t have electricity. Why would they need power adapters?
Comment by Keith — December 27, 2005 @ 6:08 pm
Nic - Yes. Yes it is. I fly by the seat of my pants.
Amanda - That, too, apparently will be taken away from you by the Federal authorities. No cheese for you!
ACG - Yes. Well, I liberated it. It didn’t want to go with her.
Keith - You obviously have never left the United States.
Comment by Pauly D — December 27, 2005 @ 10:22 pm
first they allow hot plates back on, then it’ll be rotating shower heads, personal floor fans, Husqvarna chainsaws and all hell will break loose
Comment by The Moviequill — December 28, 2005 @ 5:29 am
I hope they didn’t confiscate your hotplate. We lost a pair of scissors on the last flight we took.
Cas
Happy New Year!
Comment by cassie-b — December 28, 2005 @ 6:19 am
You only say that, Moviquill, because you’re a glass-half empty kind of guy.
Comment by Pauly D — December 28, 2005 @ 6:24 am
I just barely remember seeing a commercial this weekend and the traveler pulled out his hot plate on the plane and was busy preparing his breakfast. Oh…it just hit me. It was a commercial for some Quaker Oats cereal bars I believe. Instant Oats or something or another.
Hey, can you work on being allowed to bring fingernail clippers on board too?
Comment by stefan — December 28, 2005 @ 11:58 am