It’s over, okay?
When a holiday comes but once a year but then comes every single year after the year in question, you have one day and one day only in which to discuss said holiday, wish others said holiday’s greetings and smile and joyously tout the greatness of your once a year holiday extravaganza.
But as of today…you shouldn’t be able to do that anymore.
If you’re one of those people who (sadly) must return to work today and begin punching the clock yet again, you know you will attempt to take the first half of today sitting around the water cooler, the fax machine, the cafe downstairs, the traveling bagel guy who shows up at 10:25 each day or a variety of other time wasting locations. You will attempt to talk about your holiday, your holiday weekend, your presents, the presents you’ll be returning, the weather, the drama, the food, the sickness brought on by the food and will utter a variety of phrases that include but are not limited to: “Oh man, I am wiped out”, “You would not believe the size of that ham” and “Yeah, that’s what this bruise is from”.
But let’s refocus back-to-workers… it’s December 26th now.
Some people, feeling the need to keep the holiday-talk going on as long as they possibly can so the thoughts of doing work stay as far away from their brains as possible will begin to talk about the next holiday on the docket — New Year’s Eve. But can I just take a moment to tell you something before you start wondering aloud about what you might do, what you might drink and where you might end up naked…?
It’s not here yet.
And when it does get here and it comes and goes and you find yourself back at work that following Monday after having recouperated the previous Sunday, and you are hoping deep down that you can spend the entire first part of that Monday morning telling stories about that person you woke up with or that heavily-spiked alcohol or that dog you glued to the ceiling… Remember something for me:
It’s over, okay?
This trademark mentality does not only apply to single-day holidays, either. This thought process should not be limited to Christmas and New Year’s Eve and your best-friend’s, brother’s cousin’s birthday party at the local water park. No, this mentality must also be applied to a variety of other one day events that you should stop talking about immediately. These holidays include, but are not limited to Arbor Day, Groundhog Day, that day where you broke your ankle and got a cast, that other day where you saved someone’s life after giving them the Heimlich Maneuver, Easter, President’s Day, that day you got food poisoning, New Year’s Day, the eighth day of Hanukkah, the seventh day where God rested (and which you continue to talk about each and every Sunday it seems), that time you got the prize on the 18th hole of the local miniature golf course, that day you saw the entire Peter Jackson LOTR trilogy in an actual theater, your birthday, your parent’s anniversary, the memories of that day when you think you were being followed by a potential child kidnapper (and which never happened) and a variety of other days that you insist on talking about whilest the day has already passed and nobody really cares because they have their own problems they’d rather talk about.
It’s over, okay?
Listen to me. It’s not your fault. No, look at me. Seriously. It’s not…your…fault. No, stop turning away and pretending you’re not reading these words… Turn this way. Pay attention.
It’s. Not. Your. Fault.
The media, your bosses, your friends, those schoolmates, your parents, your cousins, your idiot co-workers, your doctors, your mailmen, your garbage collectors, those guys who ask if you want them to re-paint the street number on the curb of your house just because…but really because they want to sell you magazine subscriptions, and a variety of other culture and trend-adopters who think that just because so-and-so on the Channel 4 morning news wants to talk about their holiday that already happened that you should be doing the same when you hang out with your friends on the day after. It’s not your fault.
But it’s over, okay?
So talk about anything but yesterday. Work on something for tomorrow. Develop something that may make you a million dollars next week. Put away the half-consumed bottle of FIJI water and put down that handful of paperclips that you’re just going to throw away in the garbage after you’re done talking about yesterday that you only hold onto because it’s your nervous tick, anyway… Throw away the food and pull down the lights and return whatever you have to return as quickly as you can so no one has to hear about the nightmare you had at the local mall. Put yesterday behind you as fast as you possibly can…
Because it’s over.