Words For Your Enjoyment: Happy Holidays

What’s more for your enjoyment than a happy holiday?

That’s why I’d like to take today to wish each and every one of you the best 2005 holiday season, filled with joy, happiness, family, friends, food, candy, presents and good cheer from me and my twelve other multiple personalities here at WFME.

Which, at the same time, makes me wonder just how much happier my holiday would be if I did (really) have twelve multiple personalities that all my friends and family couldn’t deny. They would include:

Chuck, the construction worker

Rick, the nature photographer

Joaquin, the Spanish prisoner-of-war turned model sensation

Jimmy, the manly cowboy really really into women

Dr. Zabar, the cloning expert intent on world domination

Taylor, the interior decorator well known for his ability to design in one color

Simon, the alcoholic washed up NASA wannabe astronaut

El Gordo Cucaracha, the fat cucaracha

Skip Torque, the underground motorcycle tuner/racer who will take your pink slip from you if you even toy with racing him for it

Edwin, the computer expert who has ALMOST broken into the Wells Fargo Online website

Grant Show, one of the stars of FOX’s Melrose Place

I suspect that with all these guys showing up WITH me to my holiday events here in Chicago (my current location) and San Francisco (my next location on the holiday bandwagon) and back to Los Angeles (my final holiday resting place pre-31st) — well, there would be good cheer, lively conversation and enough egg nog to go around for me and me and me and me and me and me and me and me and me and me and me and me and me.

How many multiple personalities do you have with you during the holidays?

In other news, I recently got a gander at the final design of The Lost Blogs yesterday and am pleased to say that it’s looking mighty nice. And clocking it at almost 300 pages — I’m really glad to say that you really will get your money’s worth.

Finally, another quote came in this week for the book from Defamer — which you can find here.

24 comments on “Words For Your Enjoyment: Happy Holidays

  1. Dave2 - December 24, 2005 at 8:09 am -

    I feel so… inadequate… having only six personalities myself.

  2. H.F. Peterman - December 24, 2005 at 8:14 am -

    Multiple personality?? Some say i don’t have ANY personality…let alone 12 personalities. Though, after a couple of Egg Nogs/winter warmers…

    Ty Webb, lumber yard owner.
    The 14th Dali Lama of Tibet – i actully carry around a cut out photo from TIME magazine
    H.F. Peterman – catalog Bon Vivant, who wont stop reciting pure drivel…um, i mean product copy from the J. Peterman catalog.
    Scooby Doo – dont feed HIM any scooby snacks when HE shows up.
    Salvatore, a retired italian VESPA mechanic.

    I just recently discovered your site, so far…I get much enjoyment from your words. Happy Holidays

  3. Pauly D - December 24, 2005 at 8:19 am -

    Dave – Yeah, work on that. A few run-ins with rabid raccoons in the forest may help bring them out.

    H.F. Peterman – Nice to have you aboard. Happy Holidays to you too.

  4. jg - December 24, 2005 at 8:41 am -

    Hmmm… I’ve never been brave enough to define my multiple personalities. Taking them all to a party sounds interesting though. Let’s see….

    JG (of course) – the city girl who still doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up. She’ll go to the party, look the part, and enjoy herself, but she’ll keep wondering if she’s missing something somewhere else.

    Virginia – a homebody. She’s happy to stay home with a hot chocolate and a book. If I make her go, she’ll find one person she enjoys and chill with them till the party is over and she can get back home.

    Mississippi – fit, tan, and adventurous. She rides horses every day (and visits the emergency room often). When she can’t have her horses, you’ll find her dog nearby. She’ll try to bring him to the party and she’ll spend the whole evening talking about her animals. (Oh, and she’s really into Jimmy, btw.)

    Leona – the party goer. She’ll be the one in the little black dress that’s had just a BIT too much Scotch. Center of attention. Life of the party. She’ll flirt with everyone and go home with lots of phone numbers. Luckily, she’s smart enough not to take anyone with her when she goes. Besides, she and Virginia are roommates, so she can’t drag strange men home.

    I _think_ that’s it!

  5. Lynn - December 24, 2005 at 9:00 am -

    Oh, I want to meet Rick. Can I?

  6. Neil - December 24, 2005 at 9:28 am -

    Did you know you can get non-fat soy-based egg nog in Ralphs? Try getting that in Chicago.

  7. C(h)ristine - December 24, 2005 at 9:30 am -

    Happy happy holidays to you, too, pauly!!!!!

  8. the swede - December 24, 2005 at 9:51 am -

    Happy holidays Pauly, and everyone who reads this blog. I have several different personalities. As to which one makes an appearance at any given time depends mainly on what I have had to drink:

    Sober Me – Kind of boring, tends to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, doesn’t get out much (by choice).

    Port Me – Giggly, giddy. Likes to watch TV and comment on who’s a “hottie” by exclaiming “Hello hottie!” when a worthy candidate is on the screen. Talks. A lot.

    Vodka Me – Very “normal”. Actually tends to hold interesting conversations and listen to people. Fairly nice and social.

    Rum Me – Very similar to Sober Me, but chattier. And, um, hornier, which can cause embarrassing situations at parties and bars…

    Whisky Me – Philosophical at first, then increasingly mean. Will most likely attempt to sleep at some point, regardless of whether the location is a bar, restaurant or someone’s home. When asked to wake up, will flip everyone off and slur “I was just resting my eyes! F*** off!”

    My family have only met Sober Me and Port Me. Thank goodness.

  9. Hilary - December 24, 2005 at 11:20 am -

    Happy holidays Pauly!

  10. justin - December 24, 2005 at 11:26 am -

    happy holidays, pd!

  11. nic - December 24, 2005 at 11:36 am -

    I have one great personality and I’m really sweet.
    YOU’RE A TERRIBLE PERSON!
    I’m always considerate and thoughtful.
    YOU”RE CRUEL AND HATEFUL!
    No one ever doesn’t like me.
    I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
    I’m so much fun at a party!
    YOU SUCK!
    Happy Holidays!
    UP YOURS!

  12. Brooke - December 24, 2005 at 2:29 pm -

    Hey Pauly, long time no see. Hope you have a great holiday season and a happy new year!

  13. Pearl - December 24, 2005 at 3:14 pm -

    Happy holidays to you…AND MANY MORE!

  14. Rachel - December 24, 2005 at 3:31 pm -

    Happy holidays Pauly!

  15. Amber - December 24, 2005 at 8:10 pm -

    Happy Holidays, Pauly!!!

    I think my personalities are as follows (and like the Swede, they are alcohol related).

    Amber: She will chat with anyone and make you laugh. She is witty and makes people feel at ease. Occasionally says the wrong thing. But covers quickly with a joke. She drinks vodka tonic.

    Marilyn: The thoughtful party guest who is a delight to talk to. She’s polite and always brings a hostess gift. She drinks wine.

    Trixie: She’s cute and also funny. She will flirt with you, subtly at first, but then as more alcohol is imbibed, she will probably try to kiss you. She wears low cut shirts and always has shiny lips. She drinks champagne.

    Fiona: The mouthy Irish girl who is totally fun until someone pisses her off. Then she will kick your ass — with WORDS. She’s also going to be the one that passes out without warning. She drinks all of the above and also does tequila shots.

    I’m pretty sure all of those girls will be accompanying me to tomorrow’s holiday festivities. God help us all.

  16. Lexie - December 24, 2005 at 8:16 pm -

    kisses from all of my personalities, diddy.

  17. groovebunny - December 24, 2005 at 9:17 pm -

    Happy holidays Mr. Davidson! And I see nothing at all wrong with having 12 different personalities, especially if each one of them gets a present. 🙂

  18. Veronica - December 24, 2005 at 9:59 pm -

    Happy Holidays from Miami, Paul!!! Keep on writing 😉

  19. kristne - December 25, 2005 at 4:15 am -

    merry merry, P.
    xo
    K

  20. Pauly D - December 25, 2005 at 5:15 am -

    I’m glad all of us are so well adjusted.

  21. LisaBinDaCity - December 25, 2005 at 7:52 am -

    Happy holidays you wack job 😉

  22. Tom Flowers - December 25, 2005 at 3:35 pm -

    Merry Christmas, Paul! Please accept this gift . . .

  23. Kevin - December 26, 2005 at 6:32 am -

    I was on a wife-imposed hiatus from my computer so I apologize for my Happy Holidays wishes to you being a day late (hopefully not a dollar short as well).

  24. Amy - December 26, 2005 at 3:23 pm -

    I had no idea you’d be in Chicago over the holidays. It’s too bad we couldn’t meet, Pauly.

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