John Tesh Loves His Cell Phone
December 18th, 2005
Apparently John Tesh loves his cell phone.
While out and about yesterday in the San Fernando Valley, I found myself in a Cingular cell phone store, gearing up to abandon my current cell for a brand spanking-new one. But more important than the shiny new technology and the pre-cancerous cells that are already in my skull no thanks to cell technology was the fact that uber-singer (and hubby to Connie Selleca) John Tesh came in to “hang out” in the store.
And let me tell you — he is nuts over his cell phone.
What do most people know about John Tesh? Other than the fact that he was once the smarmy host of Entertainment Tonight and that he married my childhood crush Connie Selleca (The Greatest American Hero and Hotel) — he is well known as a, um, adult-contemporary musical artist.
Did you ever listen to Live at Red Rocks or A Deeper Faith or A Deeper Faith, Volume 2? Well if not, you’ve at least listened to Sax By the Fire? No? Well, no matter, because these days John Tesh is more enthusiastic (not about his wife or his music) but his Cingular-brand cell phone.
He walked into the store in sweat pants and a hat — with his flowing straight golden locks of goodness (sorry, just saw Brokeback Mountain) hanging from beneath a baseball hat. He went right up to a portly clerk by the back table — the clerk was looking intently at a cell phone.
John Tesh: “Praying to the cell phone God, are you now?”
Clerk: “Heh. Yeah. Hey, John. How’s things?”
Apparently, John Tesh likes to hang out at the cell phone store fairly often.
John Tesh: “Good, good. Can I just tell you…”
Clerk: “Yeah?”
John Tesh: “I LOVE this phone! I love it to death. I don’t know what I’d do without it!”
John Tesh pulled out his cell phone and seemingly held it up somewhere near his face and did a kind of Entertainment Tonight pose of sorts, and said again:
John Tesh: “See? So love it.”
The clerk smiled at Johnny-boy and they sat there for a moment. John looked around — I was giving him the eagle eye from the front counter where I was finishing a purchase. The clerk had nothing much more to say to John who continued to sit in the chair opposite him…tapping his foot. Just sitting there. What did the Tesh-ster actually want?
Clerk: “So, can I do anything for you, John?”
John Tesh: “I’m thinking about getting my daughter this same phone. Cause I LOVE THIS CELL PHONE!”
Clerk: “Yeah, it’s a great phone, John.”
They both sat there some more. John looked around the room, back to the clerk. The clerk was deep into programming a cell phone and John took this as his sign to go.
John Tesh: “Okay, well… Love the phone. I’ll be seeing ya.”
Clerk: “Okay, John. See you.”
And with that, Mr. Tesh got up, sauntered past all of us at the counter, and casually walked back onto Ventura Boulevard where I suspect he was going to be visiting Panda Express next.
Cause, you know…didn’t you hear…?
John Tesh loves orange chicken.
So…what kind of phone was it?
Comment by Hilary — December 18, 2005 @ 10:33 am
No idea - I think it was one of those really slick, thin Motorola Razor type phones.
Comment by Pauly D — December 18, 2005 @ 10:36 am
Sigh.
Connie Sellecca sure brings back memories. I liked her in everything from “Flying High” all the way up to “P.S.I. Luv U” when she dropped off the face of the earth.
If I was married to her, the LAST thing I’d be obsessing about would be my mobile phone.
Comment by Dave2 — December 18, 2005 @ 11:02 am
Pauly, my roommate just got a Razr and he LOVES it too. He seems to feel the need to exclaim his phone-love to other people ALL THE TIME, just like John Tesh.
Maybe these phones are part of an alien invasion or a government brainwashing scheme? Hmmm…
Comment by the swede — December 18, 2005 @ 12:25 pm
John Tesh . . . sounds familiar . . .
Oh yeah! He’s the one with the sucky radio show that nearly made me fall asleep at the wheel.
Maybe he was looking for a friend to call on his cell phone.
Comment by Rabbit — December 18, 2005 @ 1:42 pm
I have a Razr. I like it, but I don’t love it THAT much.
Hey, here’s an idea. Maybe John Tesh is actually gay (have you listened to his music? Though…I liked his Tour de France score) and he has a crush on the phone store clerk, junior-high-school-style! Dragging up ANY excuse to hang around at the store and his crush, including professing a love for his phone.
Comment by C(h)ristine — December 18, 2005 @ 3:25 pm
I think it was a sad attempt on his part to get a “Catherine-Zeta Jones-does-T-Mobile” type offer for Cingular.
Comment by Jennifer — December 18, 2005 @ 5:56 pm
Jennifer–
you made me laugh out loud.
that was awesome.
Comment by Kathleen — December 18, 2005 @ 6:15 pm
I’ve been lurking for a week or two, but finally decided to post. I work at an Alltel cell booth, and I honestly can’t see why everyone would pay so much more for those little razr phones. They’ve got some neat features, but seem to break easy, and who really NEEDS to watch CNN on their cell phone anyway?
As for John Tesh, I’d never seen a picture of him before. The hair is killin’ me. What a cheesy-lookin’ guy. Honestly, even though some of the music is lame, you can learn some good stuff on his show. I’d be excited just to say I saw him, I don’t have many brushes with people like that.
Comment by Lacy — December 18, 2005 @ 8:43 pm
I don’t know… I guess I mostly just care about what kind of phone David Hasselhoff likes. Does that make me shallow?
Comment by jenny — December 18, 2005 @ 8:45 pm
“golden locks of goodness” ?!? I swear, Pauly, you’re so gay!
Comment by nic — December 19, 2005 @ 7:14 am
The real question is…if John Tesh left his cellphone behind, would you pick it up, smell it longingly and shout to the heavens, “I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU!!!!!”
Comment by Danielle — December 19, 2005 @ 1:33 pm
John Tesh is also known as a Jesus freak and the guy who wrote the Monday Night Football theme song.
Comment by Keith — December 19, 2005 @ 2:45 pm
John Tesh looks so much like Lurch the Butler on the Addams Family his ring tone should be “YOU RANG?”
Comment by Rachel — December 19, 2005 @ 9:13 pm
I’m a newcomer to your blog, but I’m….LOVIN’ IT!!!
Wouldn’t it be cool if new age Mr. Tesh would lose his adored phone, you’d get to find it (and check the call history to see who, if anyone who is a WHO, calls him) and claim a reward for returning it: “Thanks, Paul. For your kindness, I’ve got a CD of John Tesh’s Best Hits…and an autographed pic of me and one of Connie.”
“One…CINGULAR sensation, every little call he makes….” ( I live in Canada; did Cingular already come up with that takeoff from A Chorus Line’s “One”?)
Comment by Pearl — December 20, 2005 @ 6:57 am
While channel flipping one day, I saw John Tesh in an interview with a minister on some religious talk show. John was saying how happy he was since he came out and accepted himself as gay. He spoke of his wife and child and many other aspects of his life, but went on and on about how wonderful life was since he had come out.
I was only mildly surprised at the time. But since then, I have not found a single other person who either saw the interview or has heard about it. I didn’t dream it, but am wondering if it could have been some kind of joke, hoax, role-playing or something else?
Did anyone else on this site see it?
Comment by Rick — March 8, 2008 @ 11:01 am