Zach Braff Shops At Petco Just Like You!
December 5th, 2005
Garden State and Scrubs‘ actor Zach Braff shops at PETCO just like you!
Would you believe that he walks down the aisles like normal people, peruses the sides of dog food bags with interest like your best-friend’s mother, and actually waits in line to pay like the rest of us normal Americans?
Would you believe that he goes out on a Sunday to do such shopping and looks just as haggard as the rest of us?
Yes. It’s totally one-hundred percent true!
It’s been a big celebrity sighting weekend here in Los Angeles — but it’s not as if I’ve been hanging around hot spots or anything like that. I’ve been going about my normal business to the movies and the supermarket and the pet supply store and at each and every turn the celebrities come out of the woodwork.
And it just goes to show you that most celebrities are normal folk just like you and me!
Did you know that Steve Martin is supposed to be a total dick, just like some of your friends? That sometimes he may get involved in a project or TV show where he says he’s going to lend his name to it and attach himself as a Producer and then at the last minute he gets all lazy and refuses to be involved (cough, untitled ABC show, cough)? See! He’s an Indian Giver just like your second cousin Chad — who promised to help you mow the lawn then disappeared for the weekend.
And what about Kevin Smith going bald…like you!? Were you aware that every time Kevin Smith is taped on camera, he makes sure that no one sees his head from the back? It’s sorta like how you have given up on the combover thing and have simply decided to keep your back to the wall. That way, much like Kevin Smith, you can allow the hair you DO have left to wisp high up into the air so the height of your folicles are like the ultimate hair optical illusion. And you know how you and your sweetie like to go out and wear matching black-and-white checkered Vans (those slip on shoes)? Well you’ll be happy to know that Kevin Smith and his wife like to go to the movies and do the exact same thing!
But let’s talk candy at the movies. You know how silly you feel asking for those Sour Patch Kids? You know how you try to whisper it so no one hears you for fear of being labeled “an immature candy chooser”? Well, never fear — you and Randy Quaid are like blood brothers. He too has the same issue, and is a self-conscious candy chooser.
Sure, but how about Kate Bosworth’s really obscure string-cheese OCD, where she doesn’t like to actually touch the cheese stick while eating it so she’s either got to slowly push it out from it’s silky smooth plastic wrapper and eat it like an ice cream cone or cut it with a knife and fork. Is it bad that she’s just like “some of us” who do the same thing?
And of course, what about Zach Braff, who goes out to stores like PETCO unshaven, wearing a huge oversized ski-hat, and appears to look like a homeless pet supply salesman instead of a hot, famous, not-so-blogger? When it all comes down to it, the scariest part is that it was like looking in the mirror. Because other than the fact that I love to go out in public unshaven, wearing huge wool caps, I am also a big fan of those liver treats that come in a box that looks like a small milk carton just like the TV doctor himself.
He was holding said referenced liver treats as our paths crossed that fateful Sunday afternoon (yesterday).
We each looked each other in that split second moment as he was walking to his car and I was walking into the store and I took stock of the situation. It was like looking at my doppleganger — he was me and I was him.
Me: “Liver treats. Nice.”
Zach Braff: “Yeah, liver treats.”
Some people say Zach Braff doesn’t have time for the rest of the world cause he’s so busy just living his exciting life, but I say that is SO UNTRUE. Mr. Braff is a regular, unshaven, lazy old guy just like the rest of us. Who likes liver treats.
Maybe this post should have been called Zach Braff Likes Liver Treats. Oh well.
So when you run into celebrities or see stories about them on the news or read pieces on them in the rag mags remember that celebrities aren’t human beings existing on a much higher level than the rest of us — they’re obsessive like us, they’re anal like us, they hate people like us and they don’t like to hold cheese like us…
And THAT, my friends, is the gosh darn honest truth about the world around us.
Mmmmm….liver treats.
I saw Richard Simmons at the airport when I was a kid. He was all oiled up and wearing a pink tank and pink short-shorts, surrounded by four guys in tuxedos.
I’m still in therapy.
Comment by Flower Girl — December 5, 2005 @ 8:25 am
I just don’t believe it.
Next thing you’ll be telling me is that celebs poop.
Comment by Dawn (webmiztris) — December 5, 2005 @ 8:26 am
Celebs what!?
It’s going to take me a good year to get that visual out of my head, Dawn.
Comment by Pauly D — December 5, 2005 @ 8:28 am
Jeez, now I have to take down that shrine I built for Kate Bosworth. I hate cheese freaks!
Comment by Neil — December 5, 2005 @ 8:43 am
you so don’t look like Zach Braff.
Comment by kristine — December 5, 2005 @ 8:46 am
Pauly, I think I need to start hanging out with you. I never see celebrities. Oh, and if you happen to run into the divine DK (that’d be David Krumholtz) at the pet store or the car wash or wherever, could you maybe put in a good word for me? And, um, give him my number? Thanks, babe.
Comment by annabel lee — December 5, 2005 @ 8:52 am
You’re singlehandedly giving the Valley a good name. I can’t remember the last time I saw a celebrity here on the Westside.
Comment by Keith — December 5, 2005 @ 9:21 am
Zach –> liver treats –> normal.*
Steve Martin –> dickhead –> normal.*
Randy Quaid –> Sour Patch Kid –> normal*
Kate Bosworth –> cutting string cheese –> not normal.
* anal
Who the hell is Kevin Smith?
Comment by nic — December 5, 2005 @ 9:34 am
“Who the hell is Kevin Smith?” ??
Director/writer of Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, Clerks 2
And so on…
Comment by Pauly D — December 5, 2005 @ 9:40 am
One of my all time favorite celebrity sightings was when I took my dog to the vet early one morning. Donald Sutherland was there dropping off his dog’s um fecal sample. How cool was THAT??? He didn’t make some poor assistant do the dirty work. AND he is a responsible pet owner as well!
Comment by LisaBinDaCity — December 5, 2005 @ 9:55 am
Never saw it, never saw it, never saw it. But I do know Jay & Silent Bob.
I have a feeling I haven’t missed much.
Comment by nic — December 5, 2005 @ 10:12 am
Does Zach Braff even have a dog?
Comment by Alissa — December 5, 2005 @ 11:42 am
Yeah seems like a good guy though. My old roomie met Harrison Ford in an elevator in a hotel in New York, but these damn women just kept on bugging him for his autograph, my roomie just goes “do you get tired of this shit?”
“Yep”
The women looked up incensed…
Classic.
- Vote for wetwired for best blog design on the 2005 weblogs, and vote for the other blogs too etc..
Comment by pylorns — December 5, 2005 @ 1:21 pm
Huh. I thought that Ben Affleck was the one with the hell toupee not Kevin Smith.
That’s cool though. As long as Smith doesn’t make another Mallrats, it’s all good.
Comment by Groonk — December 5, 2005 @ 1:24 pm
Now if Zach had Mandy Moore in tow and she was dressed like an everyday scrub (sorry, couldn’t resist) and still looked good, I’d be really impressed. Well? Was it her dog snacking on the liver treats?
Comment by Kevin — December 5, 2005 @ 1:26 pm
I’m so embarassed. I totally eat my string cheese like that.
Comment by Nothing But Bonfires — December 5, 2005 @ 3:02 pm
“Would you believe that he walks down the aisles like normal people[...]”
Wow, and all these years I thought celebrities floated. Thanks for clearing that up. [/mean sarcasm] In fact, I know this one guy who floats everywhere he goes.
and NBB: it’s string cheese, not ice cream cheese.
Comment by Glen C. — December 5, 2005 @ 4:32 pm
Someone needs to slap Glen.
Comment by Pauly D — December 5, 2005 @ 4:50 pm
hey next time, why don’t you slip my number to Zach Braff.
Comment by Kathleen — December 5, 2005 @ 10:04 pm
Kat - I’ll make sure I have a stack of your numbers in my pocket from now on. Please send me a list of the other celebrities you’d like me to accost in public.
Comment by Pauly D — December 6, 2005 @ 7:13 am
Can we all send you a list Pauly? That’d be great.
Comment by Meg — December 6, 2005 @ 10:24 am
Accost is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as giving them an opportunity to socialize outside the box.
Comment by Kathleen — December 6, 2005 @ 10:38 am